Have you ever struggled with trying to figure out how to “make it” and achieve massive success?

If so, you might be interested to read what Steve Martin says about it:

“When people ask me, ‘how do you make it in show business,’ or whatever, what I always tell them — and nobody ever takes note of it ‘cuz it’s not the answer they wanted to hear…but I always say, ‘Be so good they can’t ignore you.’”

That’s it. Seven simple words that make up the entirety of Steve Martin’s “advice on how to be successful.”

“Be so good they can’t ignore you.”

It’s an idea I have been applying to my own life lately, and, while I still have a ways to go, I can honestly say it has already made a huge difference.

As with many ideas, Martin’s words are simple but not necessarily easy. Here are five tips to help you make this idea work for you:

1) Define Who “They” Are

For Steve Martin, “they” were club owners and booking agents. For you, it may be the clients you serve, the readers you are trying to attract to your blog, the audience for your performances, or the potential investors for your new venture. It may also be someone completely different; each person and each dream has a different “they.”

“They” are the people whose attention you need to make your dream a reality. To find out who “they” are, ask yourself, “Who exactly am I trying to impress? Who will hire me, buy my product, or like what I do so much they’ll help me on my path?”

In short, whose attention are you trying to get?

The more clearly you can define who “they,” are, the easier your path to success will be.

2) Define What “Good” Is

For Steve Martin, “being good” meant being so funny that audiences laughed hysterically and came out in droves to see him. For me, as a motivational humorist, I need to be very funny while still passing along great, implementable content to my audiences. What is “good” for you?

Keep in mind that what you consider good may be meaningless. What’s important here is what “they” consider good. This is a point that frustrates the heck out of some people; they get really good at something that no one cares about and then wonder why they struggle.

Figure out what ‘good,” really means, and be open to the possibility that you have been focusing on the wrong thing.

3) Honestly Assess How Good Your Are

You may find this to be the hardest step of all. If you are pursuing a dream, then chances are you already think you’re pretty good at it. You may think that your biggest problem is that you just haven’t met the right people yet.

But are you really good enough? If they’re still ignoring you, maybe you could be a lot better. In fact, everyone can be better. And while it may hurt your ego to admit you can improve, getting better can only help your chances of success.

4) Get Help

You don’t have to do it all on your own. In fact, you may be making your life much, harder than it needs to be by trying to fly solo.

We’re often too close to ourselves to make an objective assessment of our strengths, weaknesses, and ability level. An outside observer can often see things that have eluded us for years (both good and bad).

Outside help could come in the form of a paid professional, a mentor, or just a friend who really knows what they are talking about (this part is critical – bad help could be worse than no help at all). You don’t need to go broke getting better, but an investment of time and/or money to get better will pay big dividends.

5) Create Your Plan to Get Good (and Follow It!)

Once you’ve gone through the first four steps, you have the foundation to get good. Now all you need to do is create a plan to get good and follow it.

What will you do? Take a class? Work on your craft every day? Go out and get great feedback?

Whatever steps you take, make sure you create a plan that

1. Will make you so good they can’t ignore you
2. Is realistic enough that you will follow it long enough to see those results

There’s no point in creating an unrealistic plan that you give up on three weeks in. Slow and steady is better than fast and overwhelming.

In Conclusion

Does being good mean that you can avoid all forms of sales and marketing and just sit back and let success come to you? No, of course not. You still have to get your name out there. But sales and marketing are easy things to measure and assess. It’s a lot harder to take an honest assessment of yourself and then implement a plan to get amazingly good.

It’s also well worth it. In the months after adopting Steve Martin’s mentality, I saw my referrals and follow-up-business significantly increase.

It’s not an easy or short journey. It takes hard work and time. When you start to looking for shortcuts or thinking about giving up, remember another great Steve Martin quote:

“Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.”

Stay persistent, keep working at getting better, and eventually, you too will be “so good they can’t ignore you.”

***
Avish Parashar is the Motivational Smart Ass. As a speaker and on his blog, Avish makes people laugh while sharing with them simple ideas to make their lives easier and more successful. Visit his site now to download the free E-Book,  “Smart Ass Success! Learn the 7 Steps to Getting What You Really Want – Even If You Have No Idea What That Is! “

Photo Credit: Paul Natkin/WireImage

Drama sucks.

Not “dramas” as in movies, TV shows, plays, etc that are serious in tone, but rather “drama” as in the petty ridiculous conflicts that get blown way out of proportion for no reason at all.

Urban Dictionary has my favorite definition of this kind of drama: “making a big deal over something unnecessarily.”

We’d like to believe that petty social drama ends the day we leave high school, but sadly, this is not the case. No matter how old they are, people can still find ways of adding unnecessary conflict to their relationships, be they at work, at home, or with friends.

This is truly a shame, because drama increases stress, ruins relationships, and eats away at that one precious commodity none of us can afford to waste: time.

If you want to stress less, have better relationships, and make the most of the limited time you have on earth, I would highly suggest you eliminate as much of the drama from your life as you can.  Here are 5 things you can do to live “drama free”:

Make No Assumptions

Assumptions are where drama starts. Somebody does something that bothers you, and then you run off and start making assumptions about why they did it.

What you observe someone doing is fact. If that bother you, then you need to deal with it. The moment you start making assumptions about their reasons, motives, or inner dialog is the moment you move out of the realm of rational thought and into the world of unnecessary stress.

You have no way of truly knowing what a person is thinking or why they do the things they do. Catch yourself when you start making those assumptions; if you want to live drama free, let those assumptions go and simply resolve to deal with the observable behavior.

Don’t Believe the Grapevine

Problems tend to increase exponentially with each additional person who is added to the communication chain. If I hear you say something, I can be pretty sure of what I heard. If Sandy tells me that John told Jane that Steve heard Sheila say something, chances are that the story you are hearing bears little resemblance to the actual truth.

Each additional person alters the story to some degree. They may remember things differently. They may add in emotion of verbiage that wasn’t there before. They may just be flat out wrong.

If you hear something through the grapevine, it might be worth investigating. But if you work yourself up into a lather based on third, fourth, and fifth party communication, then you are just feeding the drama monster.

Don’t get sucked into this. Skip the grapevine and go straight for the horse’s mouth. It will save time and cut the drama factor way down…

Be Direct

Drama is simply a byproduct of people’s inability to communicate like logical, rational adults. This is why it is so prevalent in highs school. This is also why it should be 100% unacceptable in the adult world.

If you have a problem with someone, talk to them about it. If you believe that someone has a problem with you, talk to them about it. Direct conversations nip drama in the bud. This is not to say that direct conversations make all problems go away, but they will help you cut through the nonsense and deal with the real issue.

Relationship challenges begin and are compounded by passive aggressive behavior and indirect communication. If you want to cut out the drama, be willing to have those “crucial conversations.”

Be the Bigger Person

Fighting fire with fire is good if you are trying to control a raging wilderness inferno. It’s not so good if you are trying to eliminate needless petty conflicts from your life.

When you find yourself the victim of some small offense, your first instinct may be to respond in kind. While this may feel good for a moment, it usually just escalates the situation and makes everything worse. If you truly want to live drama free, then you need to be willing to be the bigger person and let things go.

You don’t need to get in the last word, you don’t need to “one up” the other person, and you certainly don’t need to make them pay for wronging you. Just let it go, and watch the drama flow away.

Avoid Drama Queens

After you have made sure that you are not creating the drama yourself, the best way to keep your life drama free is to eliminate the drama queens (or kings!) from your life.

This is easy when you meet new people or are dealing with someone you aren’t very close to. Once you realize they are “drama prone,” minimize (or if you can, eliminate) the interactions you have with them.

With people you are close to, have a long history with, or are related to, or who are genuinely good people who’s one major flaw is their tendency to make a big deal over nothing, you don’t have to cut them out of your life altogether. Just acknowledge that quality about them and, when they start acting up, don’t get sucked into their “drama vortex.”

We are functions of our environment. To live drama free, get as many drama creators out of your life as possible.

You may never be able to eliminate all the drama from your life, but with just a little bit of focus and discipline you can certainly minimize how much you have in your life. It’s well worth doing – the less drama you have in your life, the room you have for fun, joy and great relationships!

***
Avish Parashar is the Motivational Smart Ass. As a speaker and on his blog, Avish makes people laugh while sharing with them simple ideas to make their lives easier and more successful. To read more of his ridiculous rantings on self improvement, watch videos of him in action, and download the free “How to Think Quick” MP3, visit his Motivational Humor Blog at http://www.MotivationalSmartAss.com

Don’t Forget To Follow PickTheBrain on Twitter!

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Have you ever had a thought that stressed you out, rattled around in your brain, and just wouldn’t go away? I’m sure it has; it happens to everyone. The problem is that when non-useful thoughts get stuck in our heads, they destroy our focus, creativity, and productivity. One simple nagging thought can throw off an hour, a day, or even an entire week. If you want to avoid losing those precious hours and days, then you need to let go of those thoughts…

“Letting go” doesn’t mean ignoring the problem. It simply means that you realize that there is nothing you can do about the issue right now, and rather than having it consume your life with stress and anxiety you are going to put it aside until you are in a position where you can deal with it.

Distracting thoughts suck up time, energy, and attention. By letting them go you free up all those resources to solve your problems, tackle your day, and pursue your dreams. Not only will your work get done faster, but it will also be of higher quality.

Obviously, your best bet is to just deal with what’s bothering you. Do the project, have the conversation, go deal with the overdue bill, etc. But if you can’t address the issue right away (or if it’s not something you can or want to ever address), you are much better off letting it go than letting it stew and fester in your mind.

Here are 7 ways to let go when something is bothering you:

Breathe

It is amazing what a few simple deep breathes can do for you. When you find stress rising, close your eyes (if you’re not driving!) and breath in as deeply as you can. Fill yourself with air from the bottom of your belly to the top of your chest, hold the air in for a few seconds, and then let it out. Repeat four or five times, or until you find yourself coming to peace with your troubles. For added impact, imagine that with each breath out your are letting your troubles and negative energy go.

This is the simplest and fastest way to let go and re-center your mind. It won’t last forever, but it will last long enough for you to get into a good flow state on another, more productive activity.

Empty Your Mind

Sometimes you may forget that you are the one in charge of your thoughts. When something is bothering you, you let it run amok all through your head. One of the best things you can do to let go of your troubles is to calm your mind by emptying it of thoughts.

This is very much like meditation, only our goal here is not to reach a higher consciousness or stay in a Zen state for an hour. Our goal is to become adept at removing all thoughts from our mind and be still. When you empty your mind, you remove all the negative thoughts and can exert a certain amount of control over what you let back in.

If you have not done this before, it won’t be easy, especially when you have stressful thoughts bouncing around your head. It’s a good idea to practice emptying your mind when you are not stressed, just to develop the skill. That will make it much easier when you need to let go of much bigger, badder thoughts.

Visualize

There are many great visualization techniques to help you let go of your troubles. Here are a few:

- Imagine the thing that is bothering you, and then visualize placing it in a balloon and watching it float away
- In your head, write down the issue and then imagine yourself crumpling it up and throwing it away
- Picture the thing that is bothering you, then change the color in your mind to black and white. Then shrink it down so it is very small. Then imagine it very far away.

Some of these ideas may sound odd, but they can do wonders for helping you to put troubling thoughts aside.

Write

Writing is a powerful way of getting thoughts out of your head. The simplest way to do this is to take out some paper and let whatever is in your head flow out. Don’t edit, don’t beat yourself up for what you are feeling, and don’t try to be correct. Just write. In the Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron refers to this as “Morning Pages,” and it is one of the best ways to clear all the gunk out of your head.

Another method is to write an in-depth letter to the person or situation that is troubling you (yes, you can write a letter to abstract concepts or inanimate objects). You never have to send the letter! In fact, you probably shouldn’t; it will just add another layer of stress to your mind. Instead, put it in a drawer or throw it away. The act of writing your thoughts will be cathartic in and of itself.

Distract Yourself

Not the best solution, but let’s face it: most of our stress will diminish with a little time and distance. Sometimes you just need to get your mind off of things for a little while. Go out with friends, exercise, engage in a hobby you love. The key is that you do something that truly engages your mind. Watching a movie could be good, or it could just leave you sitting in a dark theater festering over your problems for two hours.

Ritualize

You can physicalize the letting go process by performing a ritual. Don’t be put off by the word “ritual,” there is nothing spiritual or cultish about it. A ritual is just a consistent procedure you regularly follow. By turning your letting go process into a ritual, you can train your mind to automatically let things go once the ritual starts.

For example, you can write down the thing that is bothering you on a piece of paper and then burn it in a bowl or fireplace (be careful!). Some people use chants, mantras, or affirmations to let things go. I know a person who takes a picture that represents their thought, takes a short walk, and throws away the picture in a public garbage can a few blocks away. Not only have they thrown it away, but they also got it out of their house first!

The act of doing something physical represent letting something go is very powerful. Using rituals may sound strange, but don’t knock it until you try it!

Use Logic

This is probably the least effective method, but worth a shot, especially if you are a logical person. Keep explaining to yourself all the logical reasons why you should stop worrying. Yes, we as humans are emotional creatures, and logic very rarely wins out over emotion, but repeated logical reasoning can eventually engage the emotional part of your brain. If nothing else, by using logic you can force your attention off of what is bothering you and onto where you want it to go.

Troubling thoughts are dangerous, insidious things that can take hold, grow, and completely derail both our small and grand plans. The next time a nagging thought takes hold in your head, try applying one or more of these seven techniques and get back on track!

***
Avish Parashar is the Motivational Smart Ass. As a speaker and on his blog, Avish makes people laugh while sharing with them simple ideas to make their lives easier and more successful. To read more of his ridiculous rantings on self improvement, watch videos of him in action, and download the free “How to Think Quick” MP3, visit his Motivational Humor Blog at http://www.MotivationalSmartAss.com

When faced with a big decision, it is natural for you to seek advice from friends, colleagues, and experts. Sadly, it can also be natural to ignore that advice when you don’t hear what you want to…

I was chatting with my friend Fred and he was lamenting the very high mortgage payments he had to make. Not only were the payments high, but after the real estate bubble burst the property was worth less than the mortgage (not an unfamiliar situation for many these days, I am sure).

Fred says, “the stupid thing is that before I bought the property I was talking to one of these ‘real estate gurus.’ I asked him, ‘is it time to buy real estate yet?’ He said, ‘no.’ So of course I went and bought the house anyway.”

Fred said this not out of anger or spite, but simply out of humorous self-reflection. He knew how ridiculous it made him sound. But we have all been on both sides of this; getting advice that we don’t take and being asked for advice that others ignore.

It’s natural to want to argue against or ignore advice that we don’t like. But just because it’s natural doesn’t mean it’s right. Seeking advice is a smart thing to do, but before you do, make sure you are ready to accept it.

Here are three questions to ask yourself to before you ask for advice:

Are You Looking For Advice or Validation?

Often when we go looking for advice we are really just looking for people to pat us on the back and say, “yes, what you are doing is correct, keep doing it.” Or we have an option that we want to be right (even though deep down we know it isn’t) so we go looking for advice that will tell us it is.

My friend wanted to buy a house. He wasn’t necessarily looking to find out if the time was right or not; he was looking for someone to validate that yes, the time was right.

Don’t bother asking for advice if all you are looking for is approval. It won’t work out well for anyone.

Are You Ready For the Truth?

Seeking advice without an open mind is like mining for gold while blindfolded: even if you came across a “golden nugget,” you would never even realize it?

If you’re going to go through the trouble of seeking advice, and if you’re going to take up someone else’s time getting it, then the least you can do is be very open to anything and everything they say (Note: this is *not* the same as when someone gives you unsolicited advice; this is just for when *you* are asking *them* for their opinion).

The truth hurts. The person may advise you to do something you really don’t want to do. They may tell you that your brilliant idea has a huge flaw. They may tell you that, in their opinion, you are making a huge mistake.

If you’re not ready to face the truth, don’t bother seeking the advice.

Are You Ignoring Advice Out of Emotion or Logic?

I’m not saying that just because someone gives you advice that you have to take it. Heck, I’ve ignored lots of advice in my day! Ultimately you are in control of your own life and only you get to decide what’s best for you. But if you are going to ignore someone’s advice, then make sure you understand why.

Are you ignoring the advice because you have thought it through fully and decided that in your particular situation it doesn’t make sense? Or are you ignoring it because it makes you uncomfortable, or you don’t like it, or it’s not what you wanted to hear? The former is a perfectly valid reason; the latter is going to get you in trouble.

Be careful! Humans are brilliant at making decisions emotionally and justifying rationally. Make certain that your reasons for ignoring the advice (which you sought out) are truly logical, not emotional.

The next time you are faced with a difficult or complex decision, review these three questions before seeking advice. If you are blessed enough to have smart experienced people who can help you, then these questions just may prevent you from stupidly ignoring what they say.

Avish Parashar is the Motivational Smart Ass. As a motivational humorist and blogger, Avish makes people laugh while giving them simple ideas to make their lives easier and more successful. To read more of his ridiculous rantings on self improvement, watch videos of him in action, and download the free “How to Think Quick” MP3, visit http://www.MotivationalSmartAss.com

Image courtesy of Roy Lichtenstein

Life is wonderful! Life is a miracle! Life is awesome!

Life is in fact all of these things. Unfortunately, reality being what it is, life can, from time to time, suck beyond the telling of it. Every so often life comes along and metaphorically kicks you in the gut.

During these times it is perfectly normal to want to cry. There is nothing wrong with wallowing in brief bouts of self-pity.

That key is that those bouts be “brief.” Excessive self pity accomplishes nothing. When you are ready to move on, here are five things you can do to laugh when the world wants you to cry:

(Note: I’m not talking about real tragedy, like when a loved one passes away. I’m talking about the occasions when we throw a pity party for ourselves because we got dumped, or got laid off, or lost a promotion to Chuck, the office brown noser…)

1) Take a Look Around

Guess what? Your life isn’t that bad. If you’re reading this, then you have access to a computer and the internet. You know who doesn’t? Millions of people around the world. Things could be worse…

A little while ago, while I was in the midst of a little self pity, I read “The Last Lecture” by Randy Pausch. It’s a rather moving tale about a guy who, at the age of 46 and with a wife and three kids, gets a terminal diagnosis of pancreatic cancer. The story has some great life lessons, but one of my biggest takeaways was not one Randy explicitly states in the book. I thought to myself, “wow, my life seems bad, but jeez, at least I don’t have pancreatic cancer.” Sounds a bit callous, but I have a feeling Randy would have approved.

There are real tragedies that can hit you. However, so much of the time people waste on being depressed is not about real tragedies. It’s about stuff that ultimately doesn’t matter. Ironically, most of the people I know who did face real tragedies faced those with their chins up and made the best of it. Life is weird that way…

The next time you feel down about something insignificant, take a look around. There are a lot of people a lot worse off than you who are making the best of it. Follow their example and be happy with what you do have.

2) Time Travel to “Someday”

Look, you know for a fact that in a couple of months you are going to look back on what you are going through right now and laugh at yourself for how stupidly you overreacted. It’s a fact. You’ve probably already said, “someday we’re going to look back on this and laugh.” You also know your friends and family are most likely already making fun of you about it.

Skip the mourning period and start laughing about it now. Just imagine that it is “someday” and think about what the future you would say about it to the present you. I doubt future you would say soothing words like, “there, there, it’ll all be all right.” No, future you would say, “hey dumbass! Stop whining. Life is too short and he/she/it/whatever you’re crying about isn’t worth it.” If it helps, picture “future you” as a Terminator speaking to you in a Austrian accent; all things sound funnier when said by Arnold Schwarzenegger.

You don’t need to share it with anyone else, but a little self-mockery can get you laughing and give you some much needed perspective.

3) Guffaw, Even If For No Reason

Do this one in private, or you might end up in a sanitarium, but definitely give it a try. Give it a whirl now: just let out a big laugh. Not just a chuckle, but a long sustained, hearty guffaw.

I know it feels goofy, but I bet it also made you feel just a tinge better, right? I don’t fully understand the physiological or neurological reasons why, but I do know that the act of laughing will lighten your mood.

The wimpier version of this is to simply smile rather than laughing. That works too, and is a little easier to do in public.

4) Gallagherize

Gallagher was a comedian who told some very bad jokes, but for some unknown reason was immensely successful. It may have had something to do with the fact that a big part of his act was smashing fruit with a giant sledgehammer.  I am not suggesting you smash watermelons (though really, I don’t see how that wouldn’t lift your mood), but I am suggesting that you try to make your own humor, even when you don’t feel like it.

Here’s a fact: in order to make jokes, you have to look for humor in the world. When you look for humor in the world, you find humor in the world. When you find humor in the world, you take the first steps towards laughing instead of crying.

When you’re down, commit to looking for the humor. A simple way to do that is to get in the habit of asking yourself, “what’s funny about this?” You won’t always come up with an answer, but you will be training your mind to look for the funny.

Like Gallagher, you don’t need to be all that funny to be successful. Just make the jokes, and the laughs will come.

5) Jump Into A Big Pile Of “Ha Ha”

What’s weird is the extent to which people who are feeling down like to do things to stay down. They watch weepy movies, stare at depressing photographs, and listen to depressing music like Morrissey and Coldplay. When you’re in the middle of it, this sounds like a brilliant plan, but any outside observer could easily tell you that you are just feeding into a downward spiral.

Break out of that spiral by switching to fun and funny things. Watch funny movies and TV shows. Hang out with funny people. Listen to stand up comics. The nice thing is you can usually find comedians, movies, and TV shows that make light of what you are going through. This offers a nice perspective shift that you may not even realize.

If you’re unwilling to completely leave behind the depressing material, start with those weird hybrid movies that start out funny and then get serious halfway through. To the average movie-goer, those movies are annoying; to a person looking to come out of a self-pitying spiral, they can really fit the bill.

+++Throw a Hissy Fit

Let’s say that you are unsuccessful at using the simple techniques above to switch from crying to laughing. In that case, stop trying to be so mature and go ahead and throw a tantrum. Do it safely, and in private, but do what you need to get the emotion out.

There are many ways you can do this: rant and rave (to no one), write a vitriolic letter (which you never send), beat the heck out of a punching bag (my personal favorite), etc. Notice how you do not throw a physical or verbal tantrum at the object of your anger; you simply do what you need to get it out of your system.

Years ago I was in the middle of a month long self-pity party. When I decided it was time to get out of it I hopped on a treadmill. The thing is, I hate running and am not that great at it. If I can keep running for 20 minutes or a mile and a half, I consider that impressive. This day I turned on the treadmill, started running, and channeled all my emotion into that run. More than 45 minutes and three miles later I stopped, exhausted, and feeling better than I had in weeks. There is something very cathartic about channeling your emotion into a physical activity.

Be careful that you don’t do something stupid and hurt yourself, but give it a try. When you’re done, take a shower and watch a funny movie…

The next time you are wallowing in unnecessary sadness, try one or more of these techniques. In every moment of every day, you have a choice: laugh or cry, and life is way too short to spend it crying…

Avish Parashar is the Motivational Smart Ass. As a speaker and on his blog, Avish makes people laugh while giving them simple ideas to make their lives easier and more successful. To read more of his ridiculous rantings on self improvement, watch videos of him in action, and download the free “How to Think Quick” MP3, visit http://www.MotivationalSmartAss.com

Don’t Forget To Follow PickTheBrain on Twitter!

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Have you ever been blind sided by an unexpected event that threatened to throw your dreams, hopes, and life plans off-course? If nothing that grandiose has happened (lucky you!), how about just being surprised by small obstacles that threaten to ruin your day?

Big or small, unexpected events will happen. You can not avoid them, you can only control how you respond to them. It is in those critical moments after the unexpected occurs that ultimately determine your long term success. Think about it: anyone can do well when everything is going great. What separates people who succeed (the Winners) from those who don’t and just complain about it (the Whiners) is how well they respond to life’s inevitable curveballs.

How can you make sure you respond to the unexpected like a Winner and not a Whiner? Here are six traits that separate the two:

1) Whiners Focus on the Past, Winners Focus on the Present and Future

Whiners love to dwell on the past. “I wish this never happened!” or, “if you had just done what I said we wouldn’t have this problem,” or everyone’s favorite, “I told you this would happen!”  The past is done and over and can not be changed. For some reason this simple concept eludes Whiners.

Winners understand that we live in the here and now. Rather than dwelling on the past, Winners focus on the future they want to create and think of actions they can take in the present to make that future happen.

2) Whiners Cast Blame, Winners Take Responsibility

When something goes wrong, the Whiner’s “blame radar” kicks into full gear and they start a CSI style investigation to find the guilty party. This hurts morale and takes away energy from the most important task: fixing the problem! Winners take responsibility and simply say, “what can I do to solve this now?”

There is a time and place to identify what went wrong, why it happened, and what can be done to make sure it doesn’t happen again. That time and place is after the crisis is resolved, not before.

3) Whiners React, Winners Think

By, “Winners think,” I do not mean that they put things off for days; they usually think quite quickly. The important thing is that they take a short period of time to analyze the situation, think about their goals, and figure out what the best course of action is.

Whiners react in one of two ways: 1) They jump into the first action that comes to mind just so they feel like they are doing something (no matter how pointless it may be) or 2) they react out of stress and do something stupid like snap at their loved ones or throw in the towel and quit.

4) Whiners Freeze, Winners Take Action

On the flip side, once Winners have thought things through, they take action. They are smart enough to know that ideas without implementation are meaningless. Whiners, once they have gotten past their knee-jerk reactions, freeze up and get paralyzed. I call this “curling up on the couch,” syndrome. Rather than doing something, whiners curl up on the couch watching TV, hoping the problem will go away on its own.

5) Whiners Look for Validation, Winners Lead by Example

The most annoying thing about Whiners is that they are not content in their whiney solitude. No, they find it necessary to share their complaints with people around them in hope that others will validate their issues with a “you’re right,” or “yes, I feel the same way.” Rather than do something about the problem, Whiners seek out comfort in others. Winners take charge, take action, and lead by example. While others are sharing complaints, the Winners say, “here’s what happened, and here’s what I’m going to do about it. Who’s with me?”

6) Whiners Waffle, Winners Decide

When change throws them off course, Whiners refuse to decide on a course of action. Trapped wishing that things had never changed, Whiners waffle between all their options and hold of making a decision as long as possible. Winners weigh their options and pick a course of action. They know that even if they end up not picking the best choice, some action is better than none. And the sooner they take action, the sooner they can get feedback on those actions and make adjustments.

The lesson here is simple: Winners win and Whiners lose. If you want to succeed in the face of life’s unexpected curveballs, make sure you act like a Winner!

Avish Parashar is the Motivational Smart Ass. As a speaker and on his blog, Avish makes people laugh while sharing with them simple ideas to make their lives easier and more successful. To read more of his ridiculous rantings on self improvement, watch videos of him in action, and download the free “How to Think Quick” MP3, visit http://www.MotivationalSmartAss.com

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