Comments on: Attention Introverts: How to Become More Extroverted

By: elle

elle — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 18:30:38 +0000

Gretch, you are wonderful! Why all the need to change introverts indeed! For one, we cannot be changed and as I said before being introverted/extroverted is different from the ability to socialize. I socialize just fine, but I don’t feel the need to socialize every single minute of the day. Unlike my finace, I don’t want or need to go out every Friday to feel alive and connected. He loves a cocktail party where he can schmooze and be on his feet for hours. I prefer a party where the focus is on a fun activity like games or dancing. But even if I’m having fun, I’m ready to call it a night after a few hours. Most of the time, too, I prefer to eat lunch alone at work – sometimes in front of my computer where I can peruse sites like this, read the news, or research topics of interest. Much more fun than the exchange of “so what are you doing this weekend” that I might have with a colleague.

Socializing with relative strangers sometimes is just painful unless one or both of you is a social whiz anyway as you both fumble for things to say. It’s so hit and miss sometimes that as an introvert I don’t want to expend the energy to even try. Extroverts I know have admitted the same, but the difference is they are energized not necessarily by the content of the conversation but just by the fact that they are with another human being saying stuff.

By: Gretch

Gretch — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 08:01:37 +0000

This is a great article but why the need to change introverts. Why is there such a neccesity to make people fit this cookie cutter person. I personally am an extrovert but I don’t get why people don’t like who they are just the way they are. Some of the greatest people where introverts, Einstein, Abraham Lincoln. What I’m saying is that leadership shouldn’t be just for extroverts, its time to break away from our stupid cultural boundaries. Some of the smartest and funniest people I know are introverts. I mean the guy Im in love with is an introvert, you just got to apprciate people for who they are stop trying to make the perfect world, you dictator.

By: Jay

Jay — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 18:51:58 +0000

.. oh, and to the guy that figures that introverts will die out due to natural selection, I just wanted to add that although extroverts may seem to be getting all the sex, the introvert’s perceived aloofness coupled with intelligence and an ability to connect on a deep level is often much more attractive than brash displays of confidence. I’ve never had any trouble in that department thanks!

By: Jay

Jay — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 16:45:20 +0000

It’s been great reading all these comments. Thanks everyone for posting. I’m in the interesting position of being an introvert who also suffers from shyness and social anxiety. While I’m absolutely fine with being an “inny”, I hate being shy and feel defeated every time I stay home instead of accepting an invitation, or even worse, sneak away from a social event after just five minutes of self conscious awkwardness. I’ve recently learned through books such as “Goodbye to Shy” and “The Fine Art of Small Talk” that social skills can be learned and that with practice, become second nature. I’ve finally started the hard work of teaching myself how to be comfortable in social situations and although I still sometimes leave after 5 minutes, I will spend that time seeking people to talk to and keeping a conversation going as long as I can. Yes, it’s still very awkward, but it does get easier and the benefits are there. Small talk can lead to new friends, contacts, business opportunities and lovers. Why should the non shys have all the fun!?

By: The Straight Dope Dad

The Straight Dope Dad — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 23:36:23 +0000

You kind of missed the mark on this one. You totally confused shyness with introversion. They are not the same thing. I’m supremely confident socially. I have no fear what so ever. But I am an introvert. An introvert gets their energy from being alone. They process the world internally. I can dazzle a crown like no one’s business, but afterwords I want to be alone.It drains me. I wrote about parenting and introvert here on my fatherhood blog:
http://www.straightdopedad.com/introverts-are-not-retarded-or-anti-social/

By: mike

mike — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 13:34:19 +0000

great post my friend dead right. where is this new article i want to read it. i think im an introvert. i used to be shy & un confident im dislexic & i have always felt inadiquit from my school days. im much better now though. i think people are always encoraged to be extrovert but its like trying to force a square peg into a round whole for introverts. we shoud build on our foundations not try to change them we will be stronger people if we do that happy & content happy days people lol

By: Laptop Guy

Laptop Guy — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 09:16:16 +0000

Wow I never really gave too much thought to the fact that I may be more introverted than extroverted these days. I spend long hours sitting in front of the computer working on my website and it seems this has turned me more introverted over the years. But I guess it could simply be me making a sacrifice for work over play. Nevertheless, great article!

By: John Grahm

John Grahm — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 20:42:49 +0000

@Joyce – But the “human interaction with strangers” that you feel “zaps energy” has the potential to lead to huge opportunities. If someone is truly an introvert, they aren’t going to be looking for other introverts to interact with. Saying you prefer people with similar personalities is one thing, but saying you prefer to spend time with people who (like you) prefer not to be around other people is contradictory.

People who truly avoid “human interaction with strangers” are going to slowly eliminate themselves from the gene pool–not all at once, but slowly. You can see it now in the fact that the percentage of extreme introverts is lower now than it has been at any other point in history.

So a lot of this discussion will be meaningless in the future — kind of like discussing how to overcome a disease that has been eradicated.

By: Patricia Weber

Patricia Weber — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 19:53:46 +0000

Let’s start debunking some introvert myths: we ARE NOT anti-social, aloof, shy or unaccomplished. When we know and use our strengths then we only need a few extrovert skills for balance.

By: Joyce

Joyce — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 19:18:45 +0000

I have to say that this article really helped me find a starting point to try to get more comfortable in social settings but the comments helped even more. I’m glad I’m not the only one that feels a lot of conversation is for the sake of filling space (ie meaningless soundtrash) and that human interaction with strangers zaps energy. I’ve found that I have made quite a few friendships with extroverted people to kind of drag me into social situations and get energy moving. But I much prefer the caliber of discussion with other introverts like many of you.