Are You Experiencing Someone Else’s Emotions?

Interesting post, Farouk.

It is easy for us/me to adopt the emotions of those around us. In addition to your scientific approach, perhaps it is also a form of acceptance, like friends who overindulge together. When I was younger, I had a hard time remaining positive around negative people–not so much now.

Are you also offering an explanation why people and their pets tend look alike: “people [and their pets] who continuously get exposed to the same emotions start to look alike?” . . . Cause I’ve been wondering about that.

One way is to stop for a second and think about what we are thinking right now. i.e., being a witness to our thoughts and picking the right choice.

Great tips Farouk. People have certain energy fields in them that can transfer to other people. When we are around negative people, they will most likely transfer negative energy to us. When we are around positive people, they will most likely transfer positive energy to us. That’s why it’s important to choose who we hang around with, because they can deeply affect our mood without us knowing it.

It’s amazing how the mind works. It only takes like a second for someone’s emotions to be transferred onto us. Knowing we have this kind of power we should take into consideration the type of effect we have on other people be a light in this world.

Hey Farouk.

I agree with your point – Avoid negative people If possible

I call these people Energy Vampires and their modus operandi is not to steal your blood but rather, your precious energy.
Your life-force.
Your mojo.
To drain you emotionally and psychologically.
To frustrate you with their repetitious, self-indulgent, attention-seeking diatribe.

They are often bitter, angry and resentful…. and they want you to share their pain.
They don’t want solutions, they want pity.
They don’t want constructive feedback, they want attention.
They don’t want to take responsibility, they want to blame and vent.
They seem to revel in their own misery.
Day in, day out.
They have the same conversations about the same issues with the same people and produce the same result; no change.

They major on minors.
They bring others down.
They have a gift for finding the negative.

They are emotionally exhausting to be around.

Stay Clear!

inspiring point, farouk

like recently i saw one of apolo ohno’s interviews before the vancouver game. that time he was talking in such sparkling mood, smiling genuinely ( for me he really smiles) and conveying confident messages. i was very inspired by his positive emotions.

i mostly love to be involved in others’ emotions, especially in positive ones. only experiencing my own emotions from my reality is not satisfying me enough ^_^ i enjoy trying to feel what i don’t feel myself from others, actively socializing with them and grow in conscious among the interaction.

as said in the post, ” don’t confuse them with the emotions you absorb from other people “, though it might not be easy to stay that keen, i will see what i can do. i am gonna try my best to stay conscious in the chaos and enjoy the richful emotions around

Very good post! I truly enjoyed reading it. It made clear for me, in very simple sentences, things which I did not grasp fully before. Thank you!

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Good post overall, but I take exception to this:

“One of the theories that explains that transfer of emotions between people states that emotions are chemical reactions that take place inside the brain and the products of these chemical reactions results in heat that moves the air molecules and sends the emotions to near by people.”

I sincerely doubt this is possible. If this were the case, then it would not explain your example of feeling frightened when you watch a scary movie. The emotions onscreen cannot be transferred as you suggest.

Quite simply, we’re social (and therefore empathetic) creatures. Dogs and Cats are social creatures, too which is why we keep them as pets and often claim to know what they’re thinking. Subconsciously, we pick up on subtle queues. Our survival as a species has depended on it, and it’s therefore deeply ingrained.

I also take issue with “Avoid negative people If possible.” While understandable advise, it encourages us to abandon others rather than try to help them. We can’t all be psychologists, but I think this is dangerous and sociopathic. We can be aware and sensitive of the psychological impact that negative people have on us, while at the same helping however we can.

Some very dear people to me have been seriously depressed. I agree with the “energy vampire” premise, having experienced it many times first hand. However, nothing is more emotionally draining or tragic than when a friend or loved one ends his or her life.

As social creatures it is our responsibility to help others, while being aware of our own thoughts. It’s not easy, but it benefits everyone.

I totally agree with your comment, Alex. This emotion transfer must work both ways, so maybe we can transfer some positive energy to depressed friends, too.

yes it might be hard to stay positive around negative people, i am glad you can now do that

as for pets, to be honest i don’t own one so i don’t know how it feels like
thanks for your comment Fawn

yes Pk, you are right
certainly becoming more conscious of your emotions will help
thanks for the addition

exactly right Hulbert, you just summarized the article in few words:) keep in touch

yes i agree Jarrod and we should also educate our friends who think negatively about the dangers of negative thinking, thanks for commenting

oh that’s detailed analysis
i do agree with you that some of them do that for the sake of attention and that offering solutions wont do them any good

based on your words i would suggest that we first try to help people and find out whether they are really stuck or whether they are doing it for attention, if the second case is true then avoidance should be the only option
thank you for commenting, liked your analysis

hey Sandy
that’s a really good thing, to feel people’s emotions and to try to help them if needed, the only point you should take off is not to catch an emotional cold
thanks for the comment dear

really happy with your comment Cristina i hope i can always write things that you find interesting
keep in touch

hey Alex
your points make a lot of sense but let me explain what i meant in a clearer way

1) as for the cinema example, emotions get transferred because the face features of the actor, his gestures force him to feel his emotions (in addition, the music and the scene setup pulls lots of emotional triggers that further intensifies the experince.

i am not defending the first theory though, after all its just a theory and all what we care about is practice, if we can make use of the effect then who cares how it works

2) if you saw my reply to Craig you will get what i meant, of course we should never abandon friends in need but we should become conscious not to get affected by the negative emotions and we should offer them help, if as craig said we found that those people are doing it just for attention then avoidance is the right ting to do

happy with your comment because it extended the article in a useful way , thank you:)

Farouk,
Thanks for the reply.

I think I get your meaning. I just think rule number 1 can lead to socially irresponsible behavior. However, I’m certainly not advocating that people emotionally invest in people who are just desperate for attention.

The statement: “Avoid negative people If possible: because they will unintentionally transfer their emotions to you” seems too harsh. Particularly, when the second rule seems sound: “Keep an eye on your own emotions”.

Rather, It might be better said to “Limit exposure to negative people: they will unintentionally transfer their emotions to you”

Best.

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What a great article!!

Hi Farouk,
Great article. Avoiding negative people – i think it means we are shying away from reality, becoz the one way or the the other we come across all forms of people with various emotions all times. These people can be very close to us or not close to us.

Instead, if we stay positive & accept the reality that the world is surrounded by negative people and we move on… would it not help us in our all round development?

I would hope to be back tracking. Thanks for the great write-up.

Avoiding negative people sounds very useful but very hard to do.
At least would be interesting to try.

I was stopped at a light one evening and transfixed my eyes on a mail carrier who was crossing the street looking weary walking to his car. I immediately felt a heavy wave of emotion, I nearly had tears in my eyes thinking to myself, he must be tired from deliving mail.

It is said that empaths are very sensitive to other people’s emotions (perhaps you are one too?).  I know a few people whose EQ is zero or close to it, and they are definitely never affected  by such sights.  They just don’t internalise it.  On the other hand, empaths seem to internalise it too much.  So there is a quite a spectrum how different people are affected by other people’s high or low energy.
Empaths need to protect themselves.  If only I’d known when I was younger…  Long term effects of negative energy can be devastating.

The reason partners often look like each other is more to do with the well researched fact that people are attracted to others who look like them (as long as they are not immeadiate family). This has some unfortunate consequences in certain situations. For example, any one looking for a relative they have never met or known needs to know about the familial attraction phenomenom which can result in a woman finding their father irresistably attractive after meeting them for the first time having never met them or known of their father before. This can result in the two related people wishing they had not actually found each other due to the problems that result. A man who has been a sperm donor for a relatively long time would need to be very carefull about dealing with any young women they come across who become obviously strongly attracted to them and whom they also find extremely attractive.

It also causes the people looking like their pets syndrome in two ways. The selective breeding of dogs for instance has been in some part driven by peoples desire to give dogs the looks and characteristics that they find attractive in people and consequently people pick dogs for pets depending on the looks and characteristics they find attractive in people which often results in them choosing dogs that have characteristics  and looks similar to themselves.

Then there is the matter of chemical signatures, people emit organic volatile chemical molecules sometimes refered to as pheremones which appear to have specific effects on those around them, it may be that some people could cause various negative or positive effects incuding emotional response effects in people around them simply because they are emiting a particular set of pheremones at particular levels.

You say – “Avoid negative people” to be happy. Why then so many people who work with miserable and unhappy – like charity, red cross, etc. – are so happy? Why, others say, help poor and unhappy people to be happier? Like in Bible: you should visit ill and imprisoned.