Continuing the Discussion
When I wrote this post about achieving happiness through a lie, I wasn’t sure what type of reaction to expect.
The discussion that followed in the comments exceeded all my expectations. It made me realize the real value of this site:
Sharing ideas.
A single person’s perspective, no matter how well expressed, is necessarily incomplete. It comes from a single mind, with a single set of beliefs, and a single human experience. Perspectives are neither right nor wrong. They simply exist.
Understanding isn’t determined by what perspective you have, but by how many different perspectives you are aware of and how you relate them to each other.
When people share diverging perspectives, a broader, more colorful picture is formed that makes the individual perspectives insignificant. Looking at the larger picture pushes us to think outside ourselves and grow consciously.
Ambition v. Gratitude
On that note, the comment thread sent me on a new train of thought that I’d like to discuss.
Frank said:
Everyone exists to do something… something bigger than what we do in our day to day lives.
We have to work to get there and we need to really believe that WE WILL get there. And, honestly, the whole point is to effectively GET THERE.
Living a life thinking that we probably won’t reach our goals is probably the worst thing we can do to ourselves. Dreams are just dreams. Everyone wants to achieve something. Everyone wants to be the being they were born to be. Everyone wants to become that person for real.
Two points in particular stood out to me:
We all want “to do something bigger than what we do in our day to day lives,” and, “The whole point is to effectively GET THERE.”
This is is the definition of success: wanting something bigger and achieving it.
But don’t these two principles directly oppose gratitude? Wanting more implies being unhappy with what your have. Trying to “get there” implies that where you are isn’t good enough.
The motivation to be successful can be the cause of unhappiness, as Miguel Trujillo reminded me today in this eerily familiar passage.
I have a more than adequate salary, and I live in a more than adequate house. Nevertheless, when I compare what I have to others, particularly those more fortunate than I, I feel unhappy and frustrated. I am especially frustrated when I see no apparent differences between me and the fortunate person.
The drive to be successful, to be something bigger, to be known and admired, is a great motivator. It drives the world.
But being consumed by wanting more leaves us no appreciation for the things we have. Wanting more and being grateful just don’t go together.
In my personal experience, we alternate between wanting more and being grateful. We’re never both at the same time.
In effect we choose between two types of happiness. If we take the time to relish and enjoy the things we have now, and give up the goal of having more, we can be happy in the present moment.
On the other hand, if we decide to pursue more (be it power, fame, wealth), we can imagine an incredible future. While we work to attain more, no matter how hard the struggle, this fantasy of the future keeps us happy.
The times we’re unhappy are on the boundaries. When we aren’t grateful for what we have and don’t believe we’ll ever have more.
So how do we make ourselves happy? How do we choose between wanting more and being grateful? Do we even have a choice?
These are things I ponder. I’d love to hear your perspective.
[...] Original post by John Wesley [...]
I think we can have both at the same time. We are grateful for what we have got, and we are hungry because we know that our potential doesn’t stop here.
Looking at the past, I will be grateful to see how far I’ve walked. There are many victories I should be grateful for.
Looking at the future, I will be hungry because I know that there are still more than this. I’m grateful, but this is not the end of the story.
So in the present I have both: I’m grateful but I’m also still hungry.
Feeling gratitude for the past and hunger for the future is an interesting way to think about it. This is something that didn’t occur to me originally. I was focused entirely on the present moment.
It makes a lot sense. We might as well be grateful for the past, because there is no way to change it, and hungry for a better future, because a future without hope is depressing.
Attract Wealth and Prosperity Through Gratitude…
It does wonders to wish all those around you health, happiness, peace, promotion, wealth and all the blessings that life has to offer. As you do this you will at the same time reap these same blessings upon yourself. Remember that it is a universal law…
In my experience, growth and gratitude go hand in hand. Every period of growth in my life has occurred while I was in a mindset to really be proud of where I was versus where I had come from, and how I had gotten there. It’s like a momentum has been built and I move forward effortlessly.
When I’m unhappy with what I have, what I am doing, and covet what others have accomplished, I get little to nothing done. Everything seems to require supreme effort and I often just want to “give up.”
Ambition may be a loaded word – In my experience, personal development / “moving forward” only really begins to happen when I’m in a pretty good state of mind and grateful for where I am and what I have.
To add to Donald’s summation, I would say that gratitude can act as a balance to ‘ambition’. Ambition or wanting seems to be the natural state of things. The media encourages it. However, ambition for ambition’s sake is not conducive to positive well-being. Gratitude by it’s very nature contains an element of humility. And as such acts as a check against rampant ambition. It channels the ambitious drive to productive uses.
My friend sent me an email with this link inside, telling me that the author was reporting one my comment.
It was a great feeling, thanks John.
To me, “getting there” is more related to what I have to do in order to live the life I have (and want) to live. I have the conviction that each of us can (and have to) achieve huge things. By that I’m not speaking about getting rich or famous. I’m personally motivated by the things I want to create and share with the world. To me, that’s what “getting there” refers to. To succeed we have to bravely overcome our fears and listen to that extremely powerful thing inside of us that knows what to do.
Frank,
Thank you for contributing. Discussions are the best part of the site, so comments are very valuable.
I agree with what Donald, SweetTrend, and Xdroot have said about balance between gratitude and ambition.
They also mentioned a different sort of ambition that focuses on helping people rather than selfishness.
This is something I really wasn’t thinking of before. I was caught in the all or nothing mindset.
Having ambition to create or provide value to others is a powerful motivator. When I feel that way I’m the happiest.
Why either/or? Why not both?
I am thankful in every moment. Yet, every day I engage in activities that are moving me towards my goals. In the activities I am thankful. For example, one of my goals is to generate half million page views a month by the end of this year. While I write, comment, link, and communicate with other bloggers I am grateful. Grateful for the opportunity and courage to do it, and grateful for the connections. All while moving ambitiously towards my goal.
In Spirit,
Nneka
Vishvas,
That is definitely something to consider. Life is indeed a problematic affair.
[...] John Wesley presents Are Ambition and Gratitude Mutually Exclusive? posted at Pick the Brain. [...]
[...] John Wesley presents Are Ambition and Gratitude Mutually Exclusive? posted at Pick the Brain. [...]
I think you need to think more creatively on this. I recently purcahsed the Walt Disney Imagineers’ book on thinking creatively, let’s see how much I learned…
Ok, so you’re given us a choice between ambition and gratitude. Here’s the question:
Q: Do you want to be ambitious all the time, grateful all the time, or both, but each half the time?
Here’s my answer:
A: Why can’t it be both all the time?
I believe you can feel varying degrees of both at the same time, but that one always dominates the other. You can never feel both equally in the same instant. Ambition is driven by hunger, while gratefulness is driven by feeling full. They are opposites in that sense.
[...] encounter them, while unlucky people do not. Wiseman performed a test in which he asked both fortunate and unfortunate people to search through a newspaper and find out how many photographs were [...]