I read a post today titled Why Kids Do Drugs. The point of the article is contained in this passage:
Kids do drugs because they realize that adults have lied to them about it. If they are to discover the truth, they have only one course of action: Do drugs.
Yesterday I heard a story on NPR in which children were asked what they thought about drugs. Each child parroted back, with conviction, all the same false information I believed at their age. They said things like “you’ll die” and “you’ll lose all your friends.”
What will these kids do when they find out it’s not true? Drugs. When it is discovered first-hand that drugs aren’t so bad what, then, what will these kids do? More drugs.
Of all the things kids are told about drugs, the truth is blatantly omitted. Why? Because people are afraid to publicly say anything about drugs that isn’t 100% negative. They’re afraid of having their words twisted and their reputations ruined. And these fears are justified because society is terrified of the truth.
Why are we afraid of the truth? When did it become unmentionable?
Wouldn’t telling kids why drugs are harmful and why people use them preempt loads of rebellion and costly lessons? Wouldn’t satisfying their curiosity in a positive way prevent them from satisfying it negatively? Instead of making them learn through trial and error, why don’t we tell them what they’re going to learn?
This web of lies doesn’t stop kids from doing drugs. It scares them and fills their minds with nonsense. When they finally learn the truth they also learn to distrust those who’ve lied to them. Namely, their parents, teachers, and authority in general.
The issue of drug education is just one example of socially endorsed and propagated lies. We spend our early adult lives unlearning the lies we’ve been fed about sex, money, history, religion, and life in general.
Want a good job? Better put on your lying pants (or at least your partial truth pants) because the last thing you should use during an interview are candid, spontaneous answers. You’d be smart to memorize answers to common questions beforehand, especially anecdotes about your leadership abilities and group work skills. Total honesty is a liability, it shows a lack of preparation.
Consider mass media. It’s primarily fantasy; elaborate lies that lead kids to believe in a false reality, interspersed with advertisements telling them they need various products to cover their inadequacy.
This reminds me of a quote from Fight Club that rings eerily true for members of this generation.
We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.
You have to wonder how we got where we are. Has lying always been so prevalent? Is it ingrained in the human mind? Are we really better off denying the truth?
To be serious, lying isn’t always malicious. There are many scenarios where lying is permissible, even desirable. It’s occasionally necessary for the sake of decency; a free market can’t operate unless some form of deception is permitted; and many people are happy being lied to, especially if the lie is pleasurable.
Lies can’t be completely avoided. The problem is lies that form the “official truth”, lies that everyone goes along with. The truth shouldn’t be forced on people, but it should be available to people who need it.
We’ve reached the point of lie saturation and society is beginning to re-balance itself. The fact you’re reading this article is evidence. Blogs offer something big media can’t: they have a monopoly on truth. The individual writer isn’t bound by the bureaucracy, financial, and legal obligations of a large organization. With minimal expense, one person can tell the truth and anyone with a computer can hear it.
And people are dying to hear it. They’re craving it. They’ve been denied the truth their entire lives and now they’re searching for it. They’re just waiting for someone brave enough to say it.
I think the same can be said about sex. Interestingly, since sex in western society is so strongly promoted, it has become a common denominator, even though its taboo to talk about in public. In “private” e.g. swinger sites, it is becoming enormously popular. I think this is a good thing, because real exchanges between real people reduces the need for commercial outlets.
The late Bill Hicks has said some great stuff on the reality of drug usage. Great post.
Bill Hicks – Drugs and Evolution
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSH6ofHbeUw
Bill Hicks – War on Drugs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VCf2fJsBxRc
Bill Hicks – Drugs & Music
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzZOOkvbVzA
–WadeM
Stephen,
I agree, sex was one the topic I had in mind when I was writing this.
Wade M,
I haven’t heard of Bill Hicks. I’ll have to check out those links. I’m very interested in what he has to say.
Similar to drugs, it is usual that parents propagate lies about sex to their children. (it’s bad, dirty, don’t do it, etc) And then at some point the child has one HUGE realization; their parents are doing what they have been telling them not to do. For many children this is the moment it begins to dawn on them that their parent’s aren’t always honest.
And then the realization gets deeper, when the child realizes, first hand, that sex isn’t always that bad. This can lead to quite an internal struggle between the voice of their parents (sometimes confused as an internal voice) and what their new experience is showing them.
It’s too bad parent’s haven’t learned how to be honest with their children. Is this why, from the parent’s perspective, the “sex talk” is so difficult, because they don’t feel they can speak honestly. Instead they have to come up with a poetic way to mask the truth.
Dude, i´d liked the Fight Club quotation, it´s one of my best favorite movies. I think that American Beauty talks a lot of about lies too.
I agree with the culture seemingly afraid of the truth. I think it’s one reason the divorce rate is so high as well, we are raised on the romantic comedy, disney version of relationships and when we find they take work, and pull up our deepest issues to be looked at, we just don’t want to do it.
I think, it all can be boiled down to an unwillingness or fear of looking at our own “issues” that are deep inside ourselves. If we can look at ourselves truthfully, then looking at, and teaching our kids the truth isn’t as hard.
We live in a small community, and my 11yr old daughter’s 6,7,8 grade class (20 kids) are learning about drugs now. They are learning the negative: what happens, the effects, withdrawl, addiction etc.. but she is also able to tell me why people do drugs: makes them feel good, gets them friends, feel like they belong, takes away troubles (for a short time). I am glad her teacher is giving what seems to be a full-spectrum education on this.
And, not all parents teach sex the way Erin spoke about. I’ve taught my daughter the facts about sex in the context of that it’s a wonderful thing! She’s at the age when she’s telling ME it’s gross, but she knows I don’t think so, and she knows she won’t think so when she’s old enough. I think she’s aware enough about it that she won’t have to seek it out before she’s ready.
(I hope!)
We live in a fear-based culture. Really, so much of how we make our decisions is based on fear. Even from birth! Is it any wonder we’ve developed into a culture that does the same thing?
I seem to remember (years ago) an anthropology prof saying that humans developed language for the express purpose of lying. It’s a way to establish tribes/groups and enhance security. Anyone else know about this?
We do live in a fear-based culture. It seems to be the natural result of a society based upon adherence to absolutism – there are bound to be disappointments and chinks in the armor as we grow up. It’s incredibly difficult to overcome childhood conditioning. Living with authenticity and seeing things with fresh eyes is very, very difficult. (Impossible?). Though I wonder how much of our fear is based on societal conditioning and how much is simply an inherent survival instinct. Curious to know what you all think…
Sara,
I am not sure at what level we might all be fear-based as a survival instinct…that may be true.
I think on a more superficial level, it’s more societal conditioning.
I lived in the states all my life, and never realized how much our culture is fear-based until I immigrated to Canada. Now, there’s still *some* fear based culture, but there is a palpable difference here. People are just different around each other, decisions get made from a different set of criteria…and I notice the the culture of fear much more now that it’s not internalized so much, and I’m not IN it daily.
And I would guess that there are other cultures that have even less fear guiding their decisions/culture than North America.
Also, with my clients, working on their deepest truths, fears, mistaken beliefs that have their origins prenatally/birth, I see their levels of fear and self acceptance go WAY down, fairly quickly. And this translates into how they respond and interact with others, including their kids, and external fears.
I believe the same goes for most religions. People are afraid of the truth about religions – That they are a means of controlling the people. When people finally wake up, they will see how absurd the idea of a God who will send you to hell for eternity for not believing is! Why would a God who is ALL Powerful NEED us to believe anything about him/her at all?
Are u sure of that or are you just afraid of eternity in hell? Are you afraid of being control or are you afraid that you are not in control? By the way you right; He does not need you to believe Him. You are the one who needs to know and believe Him. If you don’t you’ll find out in eternity.
Someone who cares
Hear, hear!
I agree Steve! I think most, not all, religions are a way of controlling and keeping truth from people. when I’ve found that to be different, it’s because individuals have found a way of expressing their own spirituality, non-religion based.
A great book that addresses this is: The Disappearance of the Universe by Gary Renard.
Interesting read.
i agree with steve, religion is the greatest ignorance of who and what GOD is. But a change is coming the Awaking of humans to a new world order… a freedom from religious slavery from boundage of the powers of this world.
Sara,
I’ve also been pondering this a bit. Have all cultures in the past been as lie-based as ours?
I’m sure there has always been some degree of conditioning, but I think the domination of big media (i.e. TV) in the past 50 years has pushed things to another level.
Steve,
I agree about religion. Although it includes some beautiful philosophy, in practice it’s used to manipulate people. Manipulation really is the purpose of all our societal lies.
Is there anyone actually controlling this and benefiting from the collective ignorance? As far as I can see there’s no way to know or not.
Thanks Dylan, I will check out the read.
Sara, If you want to know who is in control – Follow the money – Have you seen the Vatican? Large corporations etc. We are all being kept very busy so that we do not “Wake up” and realize the truth. Church on Sunday doesn’t work so much anymore so now we are kept busy with work, gadgets, the war on drugs, the war on terrorism etc.. What I really want to know is… When are the people going to finally realize this and stop letting our “Leaders” keep us in this state. When you think about religion, think about the wars it has created – If there was no religion but only spirituality, how many of those wars would still have been fought? Does God really want you to kill someone HE created just because his views are different? I think not. I could go on, but I think a change is about to happen. People ARE starting to wake up. The internet has power as people are starting to connect the dots!
John, I enjoy the blog although I leave only an infrequent comment. I would like to offer that perhaps you’ve tackled a few too many themes in this post–mendacity, sex, drugs, religion, etc. You’ve touch on a great deal, but I got the feeling that your post was written out of mental/emotional frustration rather than strength. Indeed, the amalgamation of these various topics might elicit such frustration, but perhaps you could expound on these topics with greater depth in multiple posts. I think it would also be easier to comment on your thoughts.
Thanks everyone for those insightful comments. I agree that people are starting to wake up. I think blogs are like the salons and cafes of our time
John, personally, lying drives me nuts. Not the sort where you’re truly protecting someone/yourself, or absolutely have to, but the trivial, silly lying where you BOTH KNOW you are lying, simply for the sake of maintaining the lie, and the person who desires truth is expected to just play along. It’s so bizarre to me, but everyone participates. I’ve gotten myself into a lot of trouble in the past by not playing along. Now, rather than play along, which to me personally is utterly unacceptable, I focus on friendships and relationships with people who are progressive and desire authenticity to begin with. In work it’s not always so easy, but I hope to get to a place where it’s possible. I think we CAN change things. I imagine the world spinning one way right now as a result of so much accumulated belief and subsequent action; and I can’t wait to see the “critical mass” point where it starts to spin the other way. My personal hope.
Sara, I’m with you about participating in the “lie-game.” I don’t either…and I have gotten into trouble as well….so has my daughter – she’s authentic, and hasn’t yet learned tact to go along with it…not always anyway. And at 11, one of her biggest frustrations is how to deal with those that do the “lie-game.”
I like the blog and wiki movement…we’re able to move into a consensus based leadership with technology like this…where information isn’t filtered thru hierarchies and everyone can particiapte in information distribution and aquisition.
Mike,
I agree with your diagnosis. This post isn’t very focused, it’s a bit of a rant. That article about kids and drugs set me off so I just went with it. Writing about each of those topics in more detail is something I’d like to do in the future.
Sara and Dylan,
What you said about blogs and wiki’s is just starting to spread. Personally I think its going to get a lot bigger once more people realize they can connect with other individuals who want to honestly express their thoughts.
While people may be waking up, it doesn’t matter. This may be pessimistic, but the reality is that the awoken will never overthrow the “man”. We may be aware, but that just means we’re going to be shuned be the rest of society, and authority. We’ll never be let into the authority, and the rest of the population will not wake up. They’re pleased to continue living the way they are.
You know, Mike Y., I’ve wrestled with that attitude myself. People searching for truth are working against an enormous machine and the vast majority are completely indifferent.
But how can you really be sure there isn’t any hope? Is it a matter of overthrowing the “man”? I don’t know.
Maybe it’s just a matter of communicating with those who are willing to listen and making the man irrelevant.
You may be right, it may be completely futile, but I’d like to be able to say, “I tried.”
There are different kinds of truths for different kinds of people. There are truths appropriate for children; truths that are appropriate for students; truths that are appropriate for educated adults; and truths that are appropriate for highly educated adults, and the notion that there should be one set of truths available to everyone is a modern democratic fallacy. It doesn’t work.
My daughter, who is now 27, came home all full of the fear crap that the DARE program was feeding her when she was about 12 or 13. I told her the truth about drugs, and she later chose to try pot a few times, but it wasn’t for her.
The more people that are awakened the better. The only reason that “The Man” has so much control is because of a lack of people who know the truth. Would another man kill another if the man who was doing the killing thought that he was killing a part of himself? He is. We are all connected weather people realize it or not. My point is that a leader of a country would have a tough time getting people to go to war if everyone thought that they had to kill their own family. Once everyone starts to realize that we are all part of the same family the leaders will be left without power.
steve, you/re totally right because man has failed to realise “ALL IS ONE,ONE IS ALL” a change is coming let everyone bear witness to his or her inner dialogues and actions
Just found your site through the Carnival of Education.
I actually wrote an entry on my own blog the other day (first post on 4-11, in case anyone’s interested) about how Internet talk doesn’t necessarily equate to ‘real world’ change. The gist of it is that we can all talk and agree about certain issues on blogs and forums, but unless we also invest in some ‘real world’ action, things can’t truly change.
Mr. Wesley, I’m looking forward to adding your blog to my daily rotation of reading.
You have a valid point. Internet talk doesn’t equate with change, neither does talk anywhere for that matter.
But the internet is a huge development in the spread of information from person to person. What it will do is help like minded people connect. Those connections can lead to change.
John Adam’s said, “The American Revolution didn’t occur in 1776, it occurred during the previous 15 years in the minds of the people.” Change occurs first in thoughts and perceptions, action always follows.
What a great article, John! Very refreshing perspective — it’s something you never hear nowadays. Well thought out.
Great web-site, John !
I agree with all that what you wrote. Indeed, we are a fear-based society and we all have been constantly fed by lies.
It all comes down to power and control. Religions in their core carry truth but it is very well hidden. What would happen if we awake and break the illusion ? Religions would become unnecessary, governments,…
I think we are afraid to step out of our “comfort zone”. What we need is courage ! Luckily, more and more people are becoming ready to do this.
Keep up the food work.
Greetings from Croatia !
Greetings Dax! I always enjoy connecting with people in distant countries. It’s one of the coolest parts of the internet.
Thanks John,
now I realized I wrote “keep up the food work” instead of “good work”
I agree, too much lies around. But is a fact that people in the US seems to ingore the truth about the world. There is a world outside U.S.!, there are thousands of people suffering the lies that the US media tells tho the people in that country and there are lots of people being killed and let die by the decisions of the lied people in the US. So wake up!! before the entire world blame on you and your blindness.
As the people in the most letal nation in the world you should think about who you put there in the white house.
The rest of the world is looking carefully every thing you do couse you have and use the power to lie and kill. Your lies are not little and kills people, and from outside we can see the lies that they tell you about the world.
PD.: Sory for my english. Great website, John and many thanks!
I’d like to point out that “talk” by itself, does in fact do a lot. It’s through the exchange of ideas that we develop visions that are actionable.
I also think that the Internet, and it’s capacity to help connect people to each other, is a world changing technology, the impact of which we are only beginning to see.
Millions of conversations happen daily that collectively change the fate of the world. Most of which would never occur if not for the ‘net.
Of course we need to take action, but that only amplifies the need to talk.
your logic sounds right, but its not….
i raised my kids in a totally open environment, where we discussed sex, drugs, etc openly….
in terms of drugs, we discussed the reality that many people can try a variety of drugs, and that some people will have a problem with them, and others wont….
when you openly discuss something like this with young people, they ALL make the assumption that they will be in the group that WONT have a problem…..so, the likelihood of succumbing to drug addictions is probably the same, regardless of whether you were from a “just say no” family or an open-discussion family
parents “lying” (as you call it) and telling the kids to avoid drugs at all costs does only one thing….it protects the parents …..my son is a total pothead (which would be ok except for the lethargy)….i blame myself for not being one of the “just say no” mothers…..in not spewing the party line about drugs, i fear i may have contributed to his being ok with the pothead lifestyle….
[...] Why are we afraid of the Truth? – John Wesley asks an insightful question. [...]
“when you openly discuss something like this with young people, they ALL make the assumption that they will be in the group that WONT have a problem…..so, the likelihood of succumbing to drug addictions is probably the same, regardless…”
I think this statement represents the real bottom line about drug use as well as sex, food, and any other potentially addictive/compulsive behaviors people may suffer with.
Sometimes it’s not even important what you say or what you teach but what a person is prone to, for example, addiction.
Having said that, I still would lean towards being as open as possible with children because nothing makes you more prone to rebel than lies. The truth kinda takes the fun out of doing something you’re not supposed to do.
[...] Why are we afraid of the truth? – A thoughtful and excellent post by John Wesley at Pick the Brain. [...]
sfrierson,
The logic is right on. Just because you happened to have a kid that turned out to like pot dosent mean that you were a bad parent. Once our children are grown, and able to make thier own life choices, then comes the time for the parent to say, “I did my best, now its up to you.’.
I was raised around guns. Many guns. They were never locked up and I was taught to shoot a rifle and shot gun by the time I was 9. Never once did it occur to me to “play” with the guns. I was taught they were dangerous, and not toys. They were never hidden away, and kept a secret. I was never lied to about them. Therefore I never felt the need to seek them out and find out for myself what they could do.
Sex was one thing that was never spoken about in our house. I was 12 the first time I had sex. Do you see my point here…the pattern perhaps?
I have a 13 yr old son. Never has there been a time when I lied to him about sex, drugs, guns, or anything else that could potintionaly harm him. He knows the cold hard facts, and the warm fuzzy ones about everything. I have no fear that my child will be that overdosed kids at the party he didnt belong at. Why? Because I have every confidence that my son knows that I am trustworthy. That I wont lie to him. Im not going to tell him that his world will end if he smokes pot. I am not going to tell him that he is grounded for life if he has sex. I did tell him that when he is ready to have sex, tell me so that I can, at the very least, make sure he has a condom. He knows about AIDS/HIV, babies, STDs. No secrets, no lies. I have stood by that for 13 years now, and I have a wonderful, happy child that trust me because of it.
Great work in bringing this topic up, John Wesley!
Yes, sfrierson, I agree with S.Mayton.
There are a lot of other factors involved in someone becoming a pothead. What, along with the truth about drugs, was taught about motivation, self-respect, respect for others, responsibility, empowerment and the perception that one is significant in the world?
These days, it’s hard to battle the culture of self-indulgence as a parent, and sometimes that leads to being a parent that educates fully, but portraying or modeling the opinion that “it doesn’t matter what you do with the truth.”
Ultimately, if you teach your children to be responsible, it’s up to THEM to make choices and live the consequences. Part of teaching the good as well as the bad about drugs, i.e., “some have a problem, and some do not” is how to tell when you’re IN it. “Okay, so you want to try some pot….lets figure out how to keep track of that so you can be aware if it goes too far. Part of having a problem with drugs is not knowing or admitting it’s a problem…so how will we deal with that if it happens?”
S.Mayton, I like your analogy with the guns in your family. They were a tool, not a toy. And I like that you spoke about trust…I think if our kids can really trust us, and we trust them, they will want to live up to that most of the time.
The topics of religion, alcohol and drugs were openly talked about in my family. My sister ended up using drugs/alcohol and having a problem, and I didn’t. But my sister also had a history and personal identity issues that I didn’t have, and needed a lot more in the way of personal healing/growth etc…using was the way she coped as a teenager.
Thank you, Dylan Emrys. I am a very big believer in taking from “what you know”. I teach my child from my own experiences. If he has issues that I have never delt with, then I seek out thoes I trust that have experience with thoes same issues, and let them talk to my child. I am not super parent, by any means, and have never pretended to be. The person that coined “it takes and village” knew what they were talking about. My biggest advice to other parents is simple…Don’t lie to them, they will spot it before it gets out of your mouth, and they will be the ones to pay for your lies. If you dont know, find someone you trust that does know. There is no shame in needing help through the sticky times. They trust you, dont make them regret it, and dont abuse that trust on a “parent power trip”.
Heres a way to guarantee your kids dont do drugs.
Let them watch their teenage sister go through rehab 4 times, get arrested for possession and DWI, get pregnant by another scumbag druggie, then be “happy” that she miscarried. let them attend funerals of their sisters friends who died of an overdose and one who got hit by a truck.
Let them watch their parents pay thousands of dollars for medical and rehab treatments and come close to divorce over the issue themselves.
Lets get one thing very, very clear. Drugs destroy lives. If your kids dont believe anything but their own data…I guarantee the recipe above will give them reason to not do drugs.
Anybody who says different either hasnt seen it first hand or is addicted themselves and in denial or perhaps is just a f**king idiot.
For anybody who is related to an addict, absolutely go to either Al-Anon or Nar-Anon.
Well Eric, if you are talking only about crack, meth, nicotine and alcohol Then I totally agree with you.
Else:
You can’t just simplify that “drugs destroy lives” in 15 lines like that. Sure drugs can make people confused, but seriously who can blame them when they have always been misinformed about it. If the right information is available, then drugs can do absolutely wonderful things to EVERY SINGLE human being.
It’s not the drugs fault that kids get a surprise when trying it. Nor is it the drugs fault that they end up as what people call “junkies”, it’s simply because they have not been informed right before taking this drug. I know there are people who really use drugs in wrong ways, but I also know that there are also many people that uses them in good ways.
When drugs are constantly talked about 100% negatively on the news, it’s not hard to see why people begin to think of it as a bad thing. Then let’s say that some “kid” tries an experience of MDMA, and enjoys it. Now this “kid” has a lot to think about from this moment, because he might think of himself as a criminal, or maybe begin to think he shouldn’t have done it. This whole negativity pattern has nothing to do with the drug. It has to do with the authorities, the media and misinformation. Now when we look back the only positive thing about this was the experience itself. Everything before and after the experience seems unclear to the “kid” and that’s what starts the negativity in the “kid” and it is also what leads it on until (if it happens) the person finds out that there is nothing wrong with him, and nothing wrong with the drug.
Luckily now we have the internet, so everybody can find information about any drug if they want to.
Be informed, then choose. You don’t have to do drugs, but it’s a possibility, and theres more to it than “destroying lives”.
To John Wesley:
Absolutely delicious reading. Good job! Keep it up!
Klaus – Thanks for the encouragement. I’m not sure if readers realize how happy I am to get comments and feedback — even if it isn’t positive.
Regarding your comment, I think you make a great point about the misinformation about drugs initiating a cycle of negative thought. Once people start to see themselves as addicts/criminals that are beyond reform, it can lead to despair and even more escapism.
If people knew the truth, that their lives aren’t ruined and that they are still fully capable of having successful lives, I think it could help.
That being said, no matter how enlightened everyone is, there will still be people with problems. Reading the comments to this post has certainly made me think about perspectives I didn’t consider when I wrote it.
Hi Mike,
I agree with your observations and most of the responses!
However I want to over a different view on it:
Through the realizations that happen while we grow up we learn that we _can’t trust authorties_ Be it Mom or Dad about Sex or Drugs, the Church about the “Good” or the Government!
In addition this cut between parents and their kids allows the kids to create / discover their own personality instead of becoming a mere copy.
s.mayton
i was ultra confident like you are when my son was 13…..our home was completely open, we discussed the truth about drugs, sex, etc……
but, no matter how you raise kids, there will be a period (17-22 maybe) where they try things they shouldnt, and since you have encouraged your child to be open with you, he WILL BE…
just be prepared ….he will ultimately tell you things that will freak you out a bit….its THEN that you will doubt your parenting style, and wonder if you shouldnt have opted for the old fashioned way!
the tough years are ahead….
(ultimately, though…i agree with you….openness and honesty are the only ways to raise children. I figure my son will outgrow his pothead stage – as we all did – and it will be fine)
I totally agree with you John, and I felt the same way about all the different perspectives in this thread. It’s so hard to talk about this subject, because no matter what you say, it will be questioned. Very much. At least that my experience on talking about drugs. I think that people should stop being so stubborn about drugs being so bad.
Terence McKenna once said about these stubborn people:
“My mind is made up, don’t confuse me with facts”
And i think that’s probably what this problem is about. People not wanting to know the truth because it will change their lives. But eventually the truth’s gonna come bursting through, and then what will these people do? People need to open their minds about everything, so we can start over, because we have all been fed up with different information from all sides, and now how should anyone know what to believe?
Excellent post! It certainly resonates with my own experiences. I see it in my boys as they get older. Having always had it implied that “people that smoke are bad”, they are now starting to question that position – having met people who aren’t “bad” and who smoke. And so now they are quesioning whether smoking is really bad.
With regard to marijuana, I’ve had to face the situation of being honest with my kids (via my wife) about my own experiences. It’s hard, but I’m also trying to be honest about my real feelings on pot versus the harder stuff, without implying that I totally consent to pot smoking.
Such a tight rope, but maybe we just need to not fear speaking the truth.
Hi John,
Nice website. I liked this article of yours and I put my response in my web-blog. I have pasted it here.
GO BLOGGERS !!
This is in response to the article “Why are we afraid of the truth?”
The point of the article was that, truth is held back by authorities or may be is presented in a different way (a lie) to the public. And there are bad effects that get created in the society because of this.
Drugs as an example was pointed out and how kids end up losing respect over the authorities (their parents) when they find out that they have been lied to (that drugs don’t really kill people). And as a result in some cases they just end up doing the opposite of what they have been taught (like doing drugs). The article kind of ended with an appealing notion that the society is now rebalancing itself; decreasing the lies by waking up to the truth because of the outburst in independent information sharing.
I loved the post. It hit one of the crucial social problems right on the button. And I would like to go further on the question that was asked rather rhetorically; “Are we better off denying the truth?” Here is my trial of wondering how we got here. How we became this “lie saturated”.
Firstly I think that lies are an absolute necessity for growth. Spiritual gurus sure will testify. One cannot experience truth without the help of lies. Can there be a ‘realization’ without lies? Without realization won’t we be just ‘un-civilized’? Isn’t that how we got smart on the first place? By realizing that we are doing something wrong?
And secondly I think if it is about social good, lies are more effective. I remember reading somewhere that ideas can very much be considered as units of life like genes. They are subject to the laws of natural selection. If we are talking about a situation where we are saturated with lies, all that means is that lies have been working wonders in the pool keeping themselves alive by keeping their carriers alive. In other words they have brought us here alive to this day.
So it might not be about what is desirable, permissible or even what is pleasurable; but it might just be about what works. Appealing to people’s emotions (mainly fears) as opposed to their intellect or curiosity has always worked (all the popular religions are great examples). The lies we see today are proof that people who have believed them have done better than the ones that didn’t. That people who believed that their pains will be cured by god have lived better than the people who wanted to figure out their pains.
In this line of thinking it might seem logical to foresee a negative effect because of the current ‘rebalancing’ of the society. But that is not how nature works. It does not mean that when we let go of something that has worked, we are going to be doomed. Nature works in un-predictable ways and change is an inherent part of nature.
And nature is up above any idea or logic that our consciousness can think of.
Okay. Kids are being told in todays nation that if they smoke marijuana, they will be lead to other drugs. This scares them and they dont do it, but later in life, when they do try it, and realize how harmless marijuana is, they then have the feeling that they were being lied to. Therefor they think other, more serious drugs will be the same.
But i feel the if you experiment with drugs, not herion, coaine. But if u just try a drug once or twice becuase your curiuous, your not going to get addicted. You may want it again, but it takes a strong person, a mature person to say no.
Now im a 15 year old kid, and ive experiemented with marijuana, exstacy, xanaz, xomas, ritalin and salvia. I make A’s and B’s, and never do i want to try any of those again, except marijuana. They were fun, but i tried them to see what they were like, i now know what there like, therefore i dont want to do them again. It just takes a mature, strong person not to get wrapped up into it.
[...] Recognize lies that you are told. This was inspired by a post on Pick the Brain, “Why are we afraid of the Truth?” While that post focused on scaring kids into not doing drugs, the fact that we all get lied to starting when we are children is unavoidable. The trick is to figure out what the lies are and question all so-called “truths” rigorously. Do you really need all that stuff or that gigantic house or that expensive Lexus to prove you’re successful? Does doing a good job really require you to sacrifice 60, 80 or more hours of your time a week, or to compromise your ethics? What other “truths” are standing in the way of your happiness? [...]
If anything, I think young people need to realize that there are certain people for whom their first encounter with drugs or alcohol is an euphoric experience that leads to a life-long addiction. I think parents have a responsibility to their children to not only educate them about the dangers of drugs and alcohol, but to also educate their children about their family’s history with drugs and alcohol.
[...] to control our actions, and this will pass on to our next generation. This is especially truth when John Wesley in his article highlighted that parents satisfying their children curiosity in a negative ways [...]
Keep spreading the word, a revolution is upon us. Great job.
[...] will want to make sure that you are taking the appropriate steps to keep your children out of the line of fire. You want to keep them safe from all of the problems [...]
i think some parents might tell their kids that you’ll “die” if you do drugs or any other term like that because they think that their kid wont fully understand if they really explain it out to them. like im talking about 10 year olds. anyway they probably will understand and even if they dont they will remember what you told them and when they grow and get older that information will grow with them and when they are faced with a situation that involves drugs i guarentee you what you told them will pop in their head at that moment..
like they dumb things down to try to explain it on the kids level when they should talk to them like they are another adult
Love it!
Teach your children complete nonsense so they realize not everything they’ve “believed as true” isn’t necessarily so.
This is why you should lie to your children about Santa Clause… because Jesus is the same lie. It plants the seed of doubt!
I am a first timer on this blogg and have read over 6 articles just in 30 mins. I appreciated every opinion in here that improve my courage to take the truth and lies as a way to move forward. I am at a time limit on what I read but this blogg and others have changed my perspective on what is called living. Thank You for your brave voice John.