I’ve personally dealt with a lot of negative people since the birth of my blog. But alas, the folly was mine and I have no one to blame. I believed all the lies negative people told me.
And ironically, I was merely trying to “network” and connect with other bloggers, especially those who were considered very successful.
I’ve been told so much crap that in hindsight, I wondered why I wasted so much time on others when I should have followed my gut all along.
The lies have stolen your happiness
A lot of negativity in your life may actually stem from your surroundings; from the people you hang out with. It is a sad idea as many people have become unhappy and worse, start to blame themselves.
Nah. Forget that dangerous idea. There is truly nothing wrong with you. You just happened to be in the company of the wrong people.
You’ve been lied to. It’s time to make the shift! Note: This post focuses on the lies itself. It’s not about what makes a negative person. I’m more extreme in judging who is positive or negative to me and that’s the way I like it. If you think about it, even your family, as much as they love you, can be negative at times.
9 vicious lies negative people tell you
1) “I can see what’s wrong with you”
This was told to me by an internet marketer I met via Skype. He preceded the statement with a condescending, “Ahh… I can see why do not succeed”.
And we had only met for the first time at that time!
Someone telling you that you’re “wrong” is a lie. Know this: right or wrong is only and always will be up to you. What others think about you or whatever you do is based on their own inaccurate judgement.
Believe in yourself. As long as you keep your conscience clear, it will be all good. It doesn’t matter if others disagree or not. Besides, how can someone ever “see” that you’re wrong? They aren’t living your life.
2) “You must follow [things I do], or else you won’t succeed”
Another classic handed to me.
This is a lie because the liar is saying that everybody must follow a certain path for success.
Bullshit. There’re many different paths that lead to success and yours will be unique to you.
So drop this lie. Do what you feel like doing and keep experimenting. You’ll find your way sooner or later. Also, remember that you’re different from others. If you follow what others do, you aren’t going to get the same results, mainly because you have your own talent and passion.
To market my own blog, I only do guest posts to gain more traffic. I don’t do paid advertising and continuously test them because I hate numbers. Others will disagree, but whatever, I don’t care.
3) “You’re not ready”
Whenever someone tells you this (and then not want you part of the team or something), they’re just saying they don’t want you. Period.
No one is ever ready. Everybody needs a chance to start out and everybody started out from somewhere.
So instead of waiting for chances or relying on somebody else, create the chance yourself. Just do it. It doesn’t matter if you fail. You’ll learn and grow from there.
Oh and yes, you certainly need a certain amount of preparation to be “ready” for something, like training for a marathon. But the key idea here is to not let this lie hold you back from doing things that would thus make you “ready”. Get it?
4) “Love is a lie”
Love is not a lie. If it has always been a lie then we’re creatures of pure evil who somehow still managed to procreate.
People who say this are suffering. Don’t be taken in by them, but instead, try to help them. Then open up to life and the people with it as it is love, NOT fear that would give you the best times of your life.
Sure, you may fall on some days, so much so that you may ask what is even the point of love or why be a good person, but should you ever decide to go the other direction, then there’s no hope.
Love has hope.
5) “You’re useless”
You’ve your five senses, a brain and a heart. You’ve the ability to think and feel while being backed up by your physical being. You’re fully able and capable!
How is that useless? You can be useful in many different ways, just not in the way of some people a.k.a. the liars. People who tell you this lie are just angry and narrow-minded. And that’s their problem, not yours.
6) “You absolutely need [insert societal expectation] to be happy”
To go to college; To get a high-paying job; To get married; To have money etc.
You name it! Feel free to insert in whatever lie you want.
This is a very big lie. Happiness comes from within and it is totally up to you to decide what makes you happy. What others think or say will never be exactly true to what you feel!
Honestly, if you ask me, we’re already experiencing a shift in the way we think. We’re looking beyond and transcending traditional norms and values. There’re many happy (and successful) people who did things different. You can do the same for sure.
7) “You’re lucky because I’m on my break” or “I don’t normally do this for others, but for you I will”
I remember meeting a marketer on Facebook and he told me this COUNTLESS times.
These are but a couple of drops in the ocean of bullshit people tend to say to you when they are trying to work on you. Ever feel you like being sold to?
That’s lying. Nothing more, nothing less. Whenever someone seems to be super patronizing and making you feel too good for no apparent reason, be very wary because you never know what they may be up to. More often than not, they’d then promise you pie-in-the-sky results (also lies) if you follow what they do.
It’s usually only guaranteed if you pay them afterwards. Go back to lie #2.
8) “You’re stupid”
Sadly, many people adhere to fixed, external factors to measure intelligence. This of course doesn’t work as we’re all different people.
Nobody is ever stupid. As Albert Einstein himself said, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
Never, ever believe anything or anyone else when they dare to question your intelligence. Look within instead and do things your way. As long as you’re always asking questions, you’re never stupid.
Just for Pick the Brain readers
If you reach to the end of this article, that’s awesome!
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Alden Tan keeps it real at his blog and writes about motivation in unconventional ways. His two main passions are Bboying and writing. Check out his free report, 12 Things Happy People Don’t Give a F**k About!