@Peter Knight
You write, “Unselfconscious intimacy. How often are we afraid of that?” I think intimacy triggers fear because it means really being known deeply by another and having to drop the facade.

@Hunter Nuttall
Thanks for pointing out the anti-complaints bracelets!

@Ben (Want Freedom?)
I think there is maybe a difference between irrational fears and phobias. I agree that dehypnosis (and maybe some other NLP techniques) are excellent tools to combat phobias.

@ Garold
Your idea that we can invest in a happier life is very interesting. Maybe we could see every action as either an investment in happiness or an investment in sadness?

@ Peter:
Thank you for your encouraging words, Peter.
I’ll have a look at Bob and Mel Blanchard’s book; it sounds very interesting.

@Neil
I agree that fear can also be a positive emotion. Fear can be an early warning sign of danger. If you’re walking through a lonely, dark alley in a strange city and feel afraid it’s important to heed that feeling and act on it!

@DweezelJazz

You make a the point that listening to sounds is important and brings richness to life. That is so true! It always surprises me how sounds reappear the moment I come back to awareness of the present moment!

Eugene

You suggest taking life one day at at time. I agree with that thought but get a bit tangled up because I think it’s also important to set goals in life. Do you have a suggestion about how to reconcile these two ideas, Eugene?

Everyone needs goals and direction in life and without a dream or something to focus on working towards then we drift around aimlessly, half finishing projects with no real purpose.I definitely believe that if it’s not working then there’s something wrong – if you don’t have the motivation to keep you going then you need to look at just what it is you’re trying to achieve.

I’ve just finished reading a book on a very similar subject. It’s called Live What You Love by Bob and Mel Blanchard. They are two people who one day decided to actually see what it would take to achieve their dreams. They followed a guide that involves Deciding what you want to do, Researching your options, Evaluating your goals, Acting to make your plans a reality and finally Maintaining your dream to make it last. Yes, that all spells D.R.E.A.M which is a bit gimmicky but the book is full of sound advice and well worth a read.

I think one of the main problem is many people never define their fear. They just have a vague idea of it, and that’s what makes it seem even more scary. Try defining the fear, what would possibly happen, what is the worst case scenario, how would it affect you, and what you would have to do to overcome it if it really happened. Often times, we discover that the fear is not as bad as it seems. That we are still able to handle it even in the worst case.

Thanks again.

As Neil said earlier, fear isn’t always a bad thing. It can be an appropriate emotion. As you said, you can test your fear to see if it is grounded in reality. The challenge here, is that knowing your fear is ‘groundless’ doesn’t necessarily get rid of it. Fear is an emotion, and as such, isn’t subject to the laws of logic (it has been around a lot longer). Many phobics know that the object of their fear is irrational, but this doesn’t stop them from getting the physiological response.

Breathwork, bodywork, and dehypnosis are some of the most powerful tools I have found for accepting and managing ‘negative’ emotions, while amplifying ‘positive’ emotions.

Fear is a neuro-somatic response, and should be dealt with as such. Once we understand this, we begin to gain power over it. This is the beginning of true freedom!

keep smiling,

ben

This is the idea behind the anti-complaint bracelets at acomplaintfreeworld.org. It works wonders!

I would say the biggest step is: Unconditional love.

What is unconditional love? Simply put: walking in the shoes of everyone else, treat others how you would like to be treated, making the people around you as comfortable as possible.

Can you imagine if everyone had the focus of unconditional love? That is the definition of world peace.

The How to: Lead by example

Fear, as you say, stops us living life to its fullest. Perhaps, we’re afraid of taking risks, fearful of being rejected by those around us, or frightened of what the future brings.

Whenever we let fear take over, we limit our ability to enjoy life itself.

You make good points about ways we can tackle fear- especially by not letting ourselves give in to it through inaction. If we don’t try to do something in a situation, then we can never achieve anything. Similarly, becoming aware that the world around is not something to be automatically fear, but to be relished, helps lessen its effects. Life is for living, not for fearing!

The key for me was realising that worrying about a situation had absolutely no positive benefits. It really helps the way I approach life.

“Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.” (Henry James)