confidence

5 Ways To Turn Doubt Into Confidence

Do you often find yourself dealing with self-doubt? It might be that you frequently second guess yourself. Did you just make the right decision? Or maybe you don’t have much hope that you did well on that crucial job interview, text, or even date.

What’s so bad about self-doubt is that the more you doubt yourself, the more likely your fears are going to turn into reality.

I would somehow create these unfavorable turn of events in my head and replay them a couple of times, almost like I was preparing myself for them. Then one way or another, a version of those events, what I didn’t want to happen, would occur. Why? Because I was sure it would and I made it happen.

However, if you try to be more self-confident, better things follow. When you have confidence in yourself, you strengthen your decision-making skills.

What’s more, people tend to be drawn to you, you are more productive, and you are in a better position to create the life you want, no one you don’t.

Below are 5 simple ways you can quash your inner critic and have more confidence in yourself:

1. Give yourself a moment to pause and think why exactly you are doubting yourself.

Try to remember past events that caused your feelings of insecurity. When you’re facing something you don’t think you can successfully complete, it can cause you to doubt yourself.

Do you often find that you are putting yourself down? Perhaps subconsciously, you’re repeating negative thoughts and these thoughts are what’s keeping you from progressing.

Do you often say things like, “I’m never going to be good enough for this” or “I just don’t think I can do this”? If you do, repeating these things can keep you from having new experiences that could be beneficial to you.

So the next time you catch yourself having self-doubts, stop yourself. You need to get yourself out of a negative frame of mind. Replace it with a positive thought.

Look at the bright side of things. Don’t let your insecurities get the better of you. If you’ve failed in the past, so what? You’re actually better off now because you know what you did before that caused you to fail so you’ve got an opportunity to not do those things. Learn to live in the moment and look at things in a more positive light.

If you’ve gotten accustomed to negative self-talk, it’s time to break the habit. Whenever you have self-doubts, change gears. You’re good enough. Learn to praise yourself, and most of all, learn to be more kind to yourself. Give yourself a break.

 

2. Learn to be more forgiving of yourself, especially when you’re feeling insecure about yourself.

If you make a mistake, don’t berate yourself or worse, beat yourself up for days. You’ll only feel even worse if you do. If you make a mistake, it means you’re human. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or a stupid person.

Nobody’s perfect. Acknowledge your faults but in the process, strive to give your 100% best in everything you do. When you’re faced with a difficult challenge, look at it as your chance to learn something completely new. It’s your chance to be a better person than you are now.

 

3. Create a list.

On the left column, write down all those self-doubts you’ve got right at this moment. On the right column, list positive things disputing your self-doubts.

Let’s say your boss gave you a completely new task and right away you feel you can’t do that task because you don’t believe you’ve got the skills to do it.

On the left column, you can write something like, “I’m not skilled to do this task.” On the right column, you can write something like, “My boss gave me this task because I’m a fast learner and he knows he can rely on me to get the job done.”

Keep listing positive reasons on the right column. Go through your talents and good qualities until you’ve got a much longer list of positives than the negatives.

 

4. Write an uplifting letter to yourself.

Write about your positive qualities. How did you manage to beat obstacles? Make yourself remember what you did. If possible, recall a specific instance when you had self-doubts, but you overcame them anyway. It’s good to remind yourself of such things.

Write as if you were writing to a friend whose spirit needs to be lifted up. Letter writing is a powerful way to get rid of all those insecurities you have. By the time you’re done writing yourself a positive letter, you’ll be smiling and feeling so much better about yourself.

Save the letters you write to yourself. Keep them in a folder and read them every so often, especially when you feel those self-doubts creeping up.

 

5. Create an appreciation folder.

What’s an appreciation folder? It’s simply a place where you put all those kinds words you get from other people. Whenever you’re having self-doubt, it’s not too difficult to get into a negative frame of mind and forget about all those good things that people told you in appreciation when you did something to help them or you made them feel better in one way or another.

Print out thank-you emails, notes, and cards from people who appreciate you. Whenever that inner critic starts to rear its ugly head, get your appreciation folder out and read what others have said to you.

 

When you’re always doubting yourself, you’re robbing yourself of the chance to not just be successful but be happy in life. It’s quite normal to have self-doubts once in a while, but you need to have that ability to silence your inner critic and move on.

Apply these strategies regularly and you’ll be able to minimize those self-doubts. The only way you’ll have positive new experiences is if you’re more self-confident.

 

Lea is a certified life coach and conscious living advocate. She enjoys helping others achieve true happiness and anything that makes life easier. Start living your simply, happy life with a free copy of the Redesign Your Life eBook at LeadingEdgeAdvocate.com. Connect with her on Facebook and Twitter.

  • http://www.chrisakins.com/ Chris Akins

    Hi Lea,

    Thanks for the post.  So much of what you say seems related to cognitive-behavioral therapy, or NLP.  Your points are well taken.  When self-doubt creeps in, first we must ask ourselves “why?” are we having that self-doubt.  Is it because of the inner dialogue that we are constantly having with ourselves (consciously and unconsciously), a past history of failure, a truly difficult or high risk situation?  

    Once we have some understanding of the origins of the self doubt we can act accordingly.  As you say, writing the origins down and countering them with more rational beliefs is a powerful step IF combined with specific actions.  This is a great way of challenging limiting beliefs, which are often based in distorted thinking about ourselves and our capabilities.

    We could also break down a goal or task or situation into smaller bites to build confidence and eliminate self-doubt.  Ask others we respect their opinions on how to accomplish a challenging goal, and their opinions of our plans and abilities.  Then we can adjust accordingly.

    The other point I think you make very well is that fear of failure is a distorted thought.  We never fail until we give up.

    Thanks for the thought provoking post!

    Chris

  • Growthguided

    I’ve struggled with the concept of self love for many years but think that idea of writing yourself a letter is fantastic. It would almost take you to a place of caring for someone else as if they were in need but directed to yourself. Self worth is such a barrier to growth

  • http://www.acalltoaction.net/ Trevor Wilson

    Limiting beliefs are phantoms. Nothing more. They have only the power we give to them. 

    Fear. Self-doubt. Procrastination. They CAN be overcome. But it takes a shattering change in our mindset.

    It means facing ourselves. Our demons. Our weakness. Our pain.

    It means work. 

    More work than most people are willing to put in. That’s why so few ever actually make the shift. 

    I love your suggestion about writing to yourself. It’s something I’ve done in the past and it proved a powerful exercise. I highly recommend it. 

    Of course, what you write must be true. Don’t just write positive affirmations that you don’t really believe. That’s just a waste of your time and ink. 

    Dig deep. Find your hurt. Find your joy. Write it out. Make it so motivating that you tremble with energy . . . to the point where you just can’t sit still any longer.

    Then get your ass up off the chair and take action. Make something happen.

    Now you’ve set things in motion.

    Cheers!

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