5 Steps to a Happy Marriage

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A happy marriage is so important, being able to have a team mate at home to inspire, motivate and cheer you up is worth the world.

Me and my Wife have been together for 7 years, living together for 5 and every day is great.

Being there and listening to your partner and her problems is worth so much, we guys have a tendency to want to talk and give all kinds of practical tips.

Women often need you just to listen, not your head and show compassion.

Thanks for the article and good luck in your marriage!
//Daniel

Hi,

For me mutual understanding is key for having a successful long marriage.

“A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time.” – Anne Taylor Fleming

Thanks for the nice post.

Regards,
M. A. Tohami
Bestselling author of “The Pharaohs’ Code: Creating a Joyful Life and a Lasting Legacy”

To me this article doesn’t present a marriage as a partnership of equals. Marriage goes through stages, I accept, but this constant fawning and over reliance on the other partner seems a recipe for trouble in the long run.

Having been married 25 years I spent the first 15 thinking her brain cells were dying watching B&B but I was wrong, they were just resting. She has since earned another degree and makes as much as I do so I concluded rest must have been useful and now our neurons take time off together.

M.A.

Thank you for the added insight. A mutual understanding is something we definately can’t do without in a long term relationship.

If we don’t have an understanding we won’t have a relationship for long.

Mark,

I greatly appreciate your comment. I can honestly say that the feelings we have are mutual. This post was just written from my personal perspective.

With your statrment about the “stages of marriage” it sounds like you have some wisdom that the world would benefit from greatly. Please share it if you have a moment. I would love to hear it. I could use all the help I can get.

Jack,

LOL!

So, how have you been able to keep it going for 25 years? Besides neuron resting together.

I think it’s important to talk about the things we imagine for our future, else we can grow apart by having incompatible dreams of future.

Daniel

I couldn’t agree with you more. My wife and I have a unique relationship where we can be brutally honest with each other. I consider this to be how we work together as a team. When I do something stupid, which is often, she will tell me. Now my problem is just learning to listen to her. I just keep doing stupid stuff.

Thank you for your comment and insight. I guess it is time to open my ears and listen just a bit little more.

Hi Frank,

Very refreshing post, it remind us the importance the keep the romance from the before wedding day in the daily life of a marriage.

I would suggest:

1. Seek for understand her/him them to be understood.
2. Do some activity that both likes every week and while doing it keep 100% focus on your partner.
3. Pray (or do your spiritual practice) toguether daily.
4. Establish and plan a Family day every week, this way you make sure to implement step 2.
5. Have a child (after the first 2 years).

Regards,
Melvin Ramos
SelfHelp360.com

Kibrika,

This is so true and often overlooked in new relationships. Sometimes we get consumed with our present and forget to plan for our future.

When it comes to our future plans together we think about our son. We want to get him raised and get him out. That is our focus now.

Melvin,

Wow, thank you so much for these 5 tips. Now, that is some food for thought. I really enjoy #3 and 1,2,4 and 5. Alright they all were great. I needed number 5 a little sooner though. I kind of jumped ahead on that one my son is 5 years old now.

You push her into puddles? What the heck… :-p

This was thought provoking for me because my husband is not overly affectionate, yet our marriage is very strong. We’ve made it through some very tough situations, such as severe money problems, that I’ve seen cause a divorce in my peers. It’s actually pretty simple.

We’re honest with each other.
We’re a team. We use our complimentary strengths.
We don’t blame. We just try to fix it together.
We accept the concept that there will be ups and downs in our marriage.
We pay attention. I gauge his moods, his needs, etc. and vice versa.

My hubby and I have been married for 27 years. My best advice is to start and end each day with a snuggle.

I think that by “pushing her into puddles” what you are really saying is that you need to “play together” in a physical sense. Ours is typically in the form of tickle fights or something similarly silly.

Listening skills are also important: One of the things that took us years to figure out is that we need to listen to each other’s problems, NOT try to fix them unless specifically asked. There’s a difference between a vent and a request for advice.

(20+ years together, approaching 17th anniversary)

Emily,

Thank you so much for your comment. It sounds like you guys have gone through the fire together and came out much better and stronger. I thank you for sharing your tips for success. They are inspirational and simple to act upon. I know they will help me.

Maureen,

I like it. Simple but extremely effective. 27 years of snuggling sounds like a pretty loving relationship for me. Now, do you hug him when on days when he gets on your nerves?

Wendy,

Right, that is what I was saying “play together”. No, you hit the nail on the head. I have never really pushed my wife into a puddle. I have thought about it but never really done it.

On the piece about listening, I have a issue I think because I am a guy to want to try to fix everything that goes wrong. I hear the issue and immediately go to try to find a solution. Thank you for your comment and an awesome tip.

I love the humor and the joy that is nicely slid into each section. Maybe all alone that was the secret to a happy marriage: the ability to laugh at and laugh with each other. Laughter is medicine to the soul!

Yes, we do snuggle even if we are irritated with one another. Perhaps it’s even more important then. It gives us a physical and emotional connection.

We are pretty companionable anyway. We mostly see eye to eye on the big important issues. For the little things, we can agree to disagree.

Seems to work for us anyway!

Somtimes it’s all about biting the bullet and facing the truth, no matter how ugly it is…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61E5jCaNNIs

Jermaine,

I think you are on to something here. My wife does spend a lot of time laughing at my antics. So I am guessing her soul is doing great. But just like you said our relationship is really similar to this post. We enjoy ourselves and have a lot of fun together. Thanks for the comment.

Yes Waldir,

I do push her into puddles. There is no better way to say I love you than pushing her into a puddle of water and laughing histerically when you do it?

Now would I recommend you do this in your own relationship. NO! That might end in divorce, the opposite of the goal of this post. I meant it in a playful sense.

Enjoy each others company no matter if it is rainning or a day in paradise.

P.S. I have been a victim of a puddle push. What goes around comes around.

???

Nice vocals. LOL!! Everyone might need to hear a song about fog once in a while.

Nice Post… Really very useful for youth!!!

Maddy,

Thanks for reading and commenting.

wow 4 years is nothing, you should not be giving advise. Those things you mentioned would just annoy me.

Hey Jade,

Thanks for the comment. I appreciate you sharing you opinion. The tips here like you said may not work for everyone. They were what has worked for me. But, now you have my attention. I am curious what tips would you have for me? Since I clearly missed the mark.

Hey man, was just browsing through the internet looking for some information and stumbled on your site. I am impressed by the information that you have on this blog. It shows how well you understand this subject. Bookmarked this site, will come back for more. You, my friend, ROCK!!!

Great list!
More 20 more read “A Short Guide to a Happy Marriage”

Frank… This is wonderful! Your wifey must love you to pieces. I especially love the part about the DVR and i can say that now going into 10 years…That you have hit it on the nose…There is nothing I wouldn’t do for my husband because he shows me just how much he loves me everyday….

Hi Frank,

This is very nice article my friend. I like number 1 a lot that we have to compliment our spouse daily. This also keeps the romance alive. Thanks for sharing

My husband and I have been married nearly 10 years. We met and married in only 12 days because we both felt we had nothing to lose. It wasn’t the fairy tale wedding but we grew to love and understand each other. I believe communication is the glue that’s held us together. We communicate everything…the good, the bad and the ugly. No matter how big or how small we talk about it. If you’re just sitting around thinking “I have a great husband” call him or text him and let him know! If your spouse does something sweet, say thank you…don’t let it go un noticed. A lot of people take the smaller things for granted….pay attention to them. The smaller things are the bigger picture.

Actually, studies show that four years is the by large the average length of most marriages before divorce. So, I would actually suggest that he is in the most important stage of marriage. This is sort of the make it or break it period. And if he is learning and finding ways to keep his marriage going, it not only shows that he is on the right track right now, but has also developed a mentality that may well serve him throughout his lifetime. This article is not about the specificity of the suggestions he is making… it’s about the awareness and cognizance it requires to make them. THAT is what keeps a relationship strong. Every relationship is like a fingerprint- entirely different- but every single one needs the effort and careful consideration it took to reflect and write this article.

Cute post. But it seldom works this way.