“Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself.” – Walter Anderson
Every one has had their share of adversities. There is no one, absolutely no one, on this earth who can claim that his life has always been a bed of roses. Yes, there are people who are said to be born with a silver spoon. Children of royal families, siblings of celebrities or parents of billionaires are thought to be born lucky. But trust me or ask them and you will know that they also have times of difficulty. You have money, power and everything that everyone wishes for but a heart break, losing out on the top slot, falling prey to a terminal illness or experiencing loss of a loved one – these are those hardships that are almost beyond control. And they can be devastating.
But there are ways with which a person can resurge from asperities and can chalk out his own opaline destiny. Keeping the following things in mind helps a person in overcoming the hurdles and standing up again.
- Acknowledge that things are not right at the moment – the best way to deal with a problem is to face it. By facing I mean, acknowledging. Tell yourself that things are not going right and that you are in trouble. There is no use of keeping yourself in illusions. Facing the truth helps in understanding the situation and thus you can then focus on your next step.
By acknowledging the current situation, you are in a way introspecting. Do a reality check and find out the root causes of the present condition. If you think you made a mistake somewhere, admit it. Confess to yourself the deepest truths. And if you think you are in downfall because of your own acts, admit it and accept it. No excuses, no blames. Take it upon yourself and recognize your habits or decisions that got you here. If you had no role to play in it, well and good. Accept it as it comes, as part of the game and get ready to play it again.
- Find and focus on the solution – once you are done with admitting the rut, next comes finding the way out. Since you are fully aware of the problem and the causes, it is much easier for you to find the best possible solution. Learn from your past mistakes and make sure you don’t repeat the mistakes. Sometimes, things just happen. In that case also, find out the best way to get over it. Once you find out what would work best for you, focus on it.
- Pull yourself up – standing up again requires a lot of courage and strength. But this is the ultimate test of endurance. Whatever the calamity may be, you need to gather the courage and get up. Look at the future and ask yourself, ‘do I want to be here for the rest of my life?’ The answer is no and you know what you need to do next.
- Avoid the excuse of ‘I am done with it and I don’t want to do it again’ – many people take the shelter of this excuse to escape from their life. You hurt your knee once while running doesn’t mean you give up running. Similarly, your heart was broken once certainly does not mean you stop looking for love or you do not allow anyone to fall in love with you. Ofcourse, once burnt, a lesson learnt. Learn the lesson, avoid the pitfalls and go on. Sometimes we are frightened to an extent that we seriously do not want to pursue it anymore. If this happens to you, its okay. Put your heart into something else and pursue it. You must always have something to get you up. Lying out there thinking ‘I am okay with doing nothing’ will only help you in perishing faster.
- Just do it – this Nike’s tagline is the shortest and yet most motivating line. If you have decided to do it, just do it. Catch hold of that rope of hope that your dreams and will power have built, and simply come out of the shell. Rise up. Look at the dawn. And there will be a day when you would not even remember that you actually fell down there!
We must take lessons from legends like Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison, Mahatma Gandhi and many others. There are countless such examples where people have resurged after losing out completely re-affirming the fact that it is not only the Phoenix that rises from ashes. All we need is a heart beat. If your heart is still beating, you are alive. And this means you can do it!
About the Author
Surabhi Surendra quit her lucrative corporate day job to settle down peacefully in her marriage. She lives in Andamans and blogs at Womanatics. She would be more than delighted if you follow her on Twitter or become a fan!
Photo credit: ‘Phoenix‘ by Big Stock