Do One Outrageous Thing This Weekend (you’ll feel GREAT!)
3 Ways I Tried To Change My Life (and failed)
If there was ever a poster child for personal-development-aholics I’d be the girl at the podium introducing herself saying, “Hi my name is Lori Taylor. I’ve been addicted to personal development since 2007 and I have the best intentions “to take my life to the next level.”
That’s right. I’m an honest to goodness, real life seminar junkie.
I blame Tony Robbins.
And I can’t thank him enough for putting me on the path then that led me to where I am today. I love him like a hooker loves her pimp. Only more. So please don’t misunderstand this post as my experiences being something I regret – it’s quite the opposite.
I AM better than I was when I began drinking the Kool-Aid. But if you’ve ever gone to an up close and personal live guru event, there is certainly a “crash effect” afterward. (Sort of like the January blues after the holidays.)
Once home again, it doesn’t take long for stress and monotony to bring back old patterns. Not to mention returning to loved ones who think all this stuff is “airy fairy,” resisting your efforts, mocking you, mocking the process, and constantly harping on what a load of crap it all is.
Yet I know most of it will work because I’ve experience it personally, if only briefly.
#1 Tony Robbins Event – Date With Destiny
This is a one week event, electrified with an atomic assault on your senses, as Tony uses master level NLP techniques, anchored by super-sized story-telling, infused with non-stop full-on masculine over-the-top energy…
Let me tell you something, even a freaking tree would be inspired. If Tony told it to, I’m confident even a rock would start rolling across the room determined to lose it’s moss, gladly hurling itself on the fire coals we walked over barefoot.
The room is electrified with 4,000 screaming and dancing rabid fans. It’s worth every single dime just to see the show, even though it’s not really designed for the weak, the timid, or people on a budget (that’s for sure).
Even me, an extroverted over achiever, found it hard to implement when I got home because I went about it completely the wrong way.
I failed to do one very simple thing…
I should have asked myself, “How. Sustainable. Is. This. For. My. Life?
Lesson Learned: Do not bite off more than you chew. Pick and choose from the menu to avoid burnout. More is not better.
#2 The Vision Board
As a creative person, I thought this was the best thing since sliced bread and I couldn’t wait to get started.
Mapping out my vision for the ultimate life, grabbing poster board, magazines, and a pen to get it done in a weekend. I was off to the races for a better life.
And some of that manifested, like finding my soul mate, my nuva-ring surprise from the universe wrapped in the small package of two tiny identical boys – well let’s just say I did not see that coming and was not next to the self-made $1,000,000.00 check from Random House on my bulletin board.
Overwhelmed, faced with lack of time to be a great mom (to now five kids), have a career and take care of me in the process, resulted in anxiety or depression, depending on the moment (should I say minute). I was exhausted, mentally and physically, feeling hopeless, unable to find the light at the end of the tunnel.
Sound familiar?
I had lost total perspective on my life as I bumped into tree after tree looking for a forest. The thought of vision boarding my way out of this state was about as appealing as picking up cat hair off the floor with tweezers as opposed to a vacuum cleaner.
Have you ever had a day where drumming up enough energy to take a shower seems like it might be too much? That’s where I found myself, not really knowing how I got here, meanwhile my board hung neglected in a corner, collecting dust at best.
I simply could not help myself…so what next?
Lesson Learned: Life can’t just be solved by a bulletin board. Wasting time wanting something instead of just having it is the biggest barrier we face.
#3 The Game
Sarano Kelley, a friend of a friend called me and invited me to participate in his virtual VIP personal coaching group. This was exactly what I needed!
I hit the ground running.
My husband was horrified as he watched his loving wife morph into a rabid hamster on her wheel, rabid to anyone who got in her way to get her carrot and win.
Daily coaching calls at 8 a.m. Excel charts with every minute mapped, tied to a reward system based on how many leg lunges I did. I was the Arnold Schwarzenegger of improving myself – I swear to God, it was something to see.
Unless you were my family…
My clients were thrilled. I was over-delivering, meeting all deadlines, making money and all around kicking ass…
I was miserable.
It was all I could think about – I was consumed by getting an A on everything I was doing; I rejoiced at the illusion there was something I could do to be happy.
I could make happiness happen, right?
Wrong. After the game ended, I was back in the same old rut, staring in the mirror at the only white elephant in the room – me.
Lesson Learned: Trying to “become” someone or “achieve” to be happy is the biggest lie we tell ourselves and believe.
The bottom line is you don’t have to change YOU to be happy.
You just need to learn how to change your perception about your situation. The emotion you experience comes from the meaning you’ve given to it, combined with how long you believe it’s going to last.
Even if you do nothing but become aware of every single time YOU let a tough situation drain your power, you will begin to make the shift away from the internal blame game. This awareness allows you to evolve into a quiet state of knowing you have the ability to BE anything you want to be.
And I’m going to show you how to do exactly that over the next 30 days – we’re just getting started – I’m looking forward to our journey together.
I See Dead People: How To Deal With Defunct Relationships
“Ghost Stories” courtesy of Nendo/Wallpaper
“I see dead people.”
Do you remember the film that came from? It was the The Sixth Sense and the little boy was Haley Joel Osment.
There is a good chance that you see them too. Really. They may not have zombie faces or hide under the bed in the shadows but I guarantee – you do see them.
And possibly all the time.
What do I mean?
Well, first I don’t mean that you see ghosts or spirits. I’m talking real people who you have known.
Kooky?
Only for a minute. Read on. Read the Rest of This Article »
How To Become Really Unstoppable
This article should not be scanned or read quickly, but instead each word must be read carefully, absorbed by your mind so it can be applied properly. The main reason I began the article with such an introduction is that even though it is not that long it contains a summary of extremely important discoveries that I made over the past 10 years – discoveries that when applied have infinitely improved my life.
These discoveries will help you understand exactly why you sometimes feel helpless, unmotivated or indifferent and at the same time, will tell you how to overcome all of these emotions and become unstoppable.
What does being ‘unstoppable’ mean?
Over the past couple of years I kept examining the differences between people that are resilient and others that seem helpless. I was eagerly trying to find out if there was a set of methods or actions that could be followed to make someone really unstoppable and I was right.
Before I tell you how to become unstoppable lets first ask the question, what does being unstoppable mean? Does it mean being superior or omnipotent?
Being unstoppable means that you will be a person who will always be able to reach your goals whatever the circumstances are.
If you become unstoppable you might still feel sad or down at times, just like anybody else, but the main difference between you and ordinary people is that within few days your energy will be recharged, you will find yourself fighting again for what you believe in and you will continue going until you get what you want.
Being unstoppable means that life problems will never stop you from reaching what you want whatever happens. Read the Rest of This Article »
Compounding Time: Create More Free Time by Investing it Wisely
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know that compound interest is the foundation of investing. But what does compounding have to do with the other 8 hours? A great deal. How you invest your other 8 hours determines your happiness and financial success. If you squander this critical time, it’s like putting $50 under your mattress. It won’t provide you with any return. For that $50 to grow, it must be invested. For your time to grow, it must also be invested. We’ve been told that time is money. But is it possible that time can make more time? Read the Rest of This Article »
5 Ways To Slay The Un-Motivation Demon
Are you having a hard time getting motivated? Know what you want to do, but it’s a challenge kicking yourself in the butt to get up and do it?
You’re being haunted by the un-motivation demon. Fortunately, there are 5 ways to slay it.
You could be making attempts to get out there and do what you’re setting out to do. And even begin to get results here or there. But your surroundings, circumstances, and negative or lazy forces around you constantly hold you back. They pull you back to where you started. And you get discouraged or convince yourself you can’t do it.
That’s the un-motivation demon at work.
And if you want to turn your dreams into reality, your quest is to slay the un-motivation demon.
You can get motivated – and stay motivated. You can turn your dreams into reality. And it’s not as hard as you think.
It just requires an initial effort to change your environment into a positive one. Once you’ve turned these things into a habit, your new proactive environment will be auto-motivating – you’ll have a hard time not getting motivated.
5 Ways to Slay the Un-Motivation Demon
- Ditch Friends That Hold You Back: Spend less time with friends that just want to “hang out” and not talk about taking steps towards your dream or ideal lifestyle, making more money, etc. Especially stop being around those that say you can’t do something.During college, I had some friends that I just hung out with. I had ambitious and adventurous ideas on business and non-9-to-5 lifestyle, but I didn’t have anyone to talk to. And the idea of entrepreneurship evoked responses of “get real” or “yeah right.” So for years I wouldn’t be motivated, and even doubting myself sometimes. But when I started finding new people‚Äîones that motivated and inspired me‚ÄîI begun spending less time with the aforementioned friends. And it made all the difference: the discouraging talks began to be replaced with a can-do attitude.To slay the un-motivation demon, you need to have people ask you “why not” rather than “why.”So where do you find those people? You’ll meet them when you… Read the Rest of This Article »
You’re Not Mad, You’re Creative
“Beth” courtesy of Michael Nye
‘”Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life thinking it is stupid.” Albert Einstein.
Ever been told you’re a perfectionist, too sensitive or that you dream or think too much?
To have a high degree of creative intelligence is a gift — but because our society, schools and workplaces privilege more conventional and conformist intelligences, it is not always experienced that way. If you, or your nearest and dearest, do not understand what it means to becreatively intelligent, in everyday terms, a great deal of suffering can ensue.
“In a society that doesn’t appreciate them, creative abilities are often labeled and experienced as liabilities,” says Mary Taylor, LCSW, of the Creative Intelligence Centre. “Highly creative people often face a lifetime of hardship and psychological pain because they do not see themselves or their abilities clearly. The abilities of highly creative people are frequently hidden under…emotional, occupational andrelationship difficulties.”
While the [creative] person is all too aware of their problems, they are often unaware of their abilities. This, allied with the fact that they live in a society that prefers linear, rational thinking and behaviour, makes them try to fit into situations that don’t suit them — and thenblame themselves when that doesn’t work out. Hence: “I’m too sensitive”; “I’m too much of a perfectionist”; “I think too much”.
These erroneous conclusions can do “major damage” to self image, says Taylor, and ”attempts made at correcting a problem from this vantage point are frequently unsuccessful because the initial interpretation was in error. Their deepest turmoil often stems from the fact that although they feel they are capable, they are unable to bring their talents into the world in a recognizable or tangible form. They often feel confused in their attempts to figure this ‘puzzle’ out.”
Over time, self-blame and lack of understanding leads many bright, creative people into marginalized lives as adults — underemployed,dissatisfied and often in tremendous psychological pain.
First Stage Problems (Issues that stem directly from the ability itself)
- Depression caused by a lack of creative and intellectual fulfillment – environments which are creatively or intellectually under-stimulating.
- Feeling overwhelmed by the difficulties of managing high ideaphoria and divergent thinking patterns – a high flow of ideas and the capacity to process thoughts on multiple levels simultaneously.
- Sensory overload resulting in anxiety, irritability and fatigue brought on by the combination of strong sensory skills and environmental stimulation.
Significant questions in making an assessment of such problems include:
- “Am I really ‘obsessive compulsive’ or do my finely tuned visual abilities mandate I create an environment of visual beauty and order?”
- “Do I actually have a biochemical depression, or am I an imaginative person living among a plethora of concrete thinkers?”
- “Do I have ADHD or am I attempting to physically keep up with my numerous ideas and interests through multiple projects and activities?” Read the Rest of This Article »
12 Ways To Unleash Your Creativity
Image courtesy of Laffy4k at Flickr
Is creativity something that can be tapped? If you are anything like me, creativity can seem elusive; something that comes in waves or that is unpredictable. But we can learn to be creative – like anything it is a process. There are things we can do to harness this power and unleash it:
Release perfectionism
Perfectionism is the biggest killer of creativity. Notice when you are approaching a task and have ‘am I doing it right’ or ‘will it be good enough’ thoughts and do it anyway! Start practicing doing things even when you don’t know if you can do them perfectly or how they will turn out.
Have fun
In our society we are often taught that we should have a goal or an aim and an outcome to an activity in order for it to be successful. Creativity isn’t linear. Start doing purely things for the enjoyment factor.
Practice
Practice being creative often! You don’t necessarily have to show others your creations, but the act of making creativity a ritual will help your brain get used to being creative and keep the flow going.
Be present
Being present and living in the moment helps us to get in touch with our creative side. We need time and space to let our creativity pour forth. Try and be aware of how present you are being every day. Read the Rest of This Article »
Hate Your Job? Here’s the Solution…
Breaking news! Most Americans don’t like their jobs. The results of a new Conference Board study show 55% of Americans are dissatisfied with their work, which was the lowest level ever recorded in more than 22 years of studying the issue. Is it just me, or are these results completely NOT shocking?
It’s like the groundbreaking research the University of Waterloo conducted that showed “smoking in a car poses a potentially serious hazard to occupants — particularly children.” Sorry sweetie, daddy didn’t realize that lighting up in the minivan was bad for you. Soon they’ll discover exercise can help you lose weight (whoops, it appears a recent study confirms this).
Do you want to know what I find shocking about the job satisfaction survey? That more people don’t hate their jobs. My guess is that when people were asked if they were satisfied with their jobs they either lied to the researcher or they’ve been lying to themselves. Read the Rest of This Article »
Change Your Beliefs, Change Your Life
“Mosk” courtesy of Maciej Mizer
Our life is what our thoughts make it. Life is neither good or evil, but only a place for good and evil. ~Marcus Aurelius
A belief is something you consider to be true. You cannot decide to believe one thing this week and another, opposing thing, next week. You might think you can, but it really doesn’t work like that. I read recently that baby circus elephants are tied to a strong metal post with a heavy chain because they will try to escape and expend a lot of energy on pulling at their tether. After some time, they accept that they will not be able to escape and so stop pulling. The adult elephants are tethered to a wooden stake with a light rope: they could easily escape, but they believe they are unable to do so, and so the light tethering works as a kind of symbol of their bondage. It is clear that whether your beliefs are true or not is irrelevant. What matters is what you regard to be true. It seems to me that this is a good definition of ‘belief.’ Read the Rest of This Article »
13 Comments