“You spent the first half of your life becoming somebody.  Now you can work on becoming nobody, which is really somebody.  For when you become nobody there is no tension, no pretense, no one trying to be anyone or anything.  The natural state of the mind shines through unobstructed – and the natural state of the mind is pure love.”  Ram Dass

I recently turned 40.

No, I’m not wearing “old man socks” yet but I certainly understand the trait of being that brings about this tragedy of fashion; which I believe can be summed up quite bluntly in two words:

“Who cares!?”

This carefree trait is one of contentment and it illustrates the process of (and value inherent in) becoming nobody – where “the natural state of the mind shines through unobstructed.”

“Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.” ~ Chinese Proverb

Have you ever worn old man socks?  These socks are soft, form-fitting and made to be worn comfortably for long periods of time.  The fact that dress socks don’t “look right” with tennis shoes and plaid shorts is barely an afterthought in relation to the priorities of comfort and practicality.

Most of you likely understand the value of comfort, such as the little pleasures found in wearing a t-shirt and an old pear of jeans or staying in your flannel pajamas and slippers all day.

Before I digress entirely away from my point (there actually is a point here), a certain attitude or life perspective that goes beyond material pleasure can be found underneath these old man socks.

“One’s own self is well-hidden from one’s own self; of all mines of treasure, one’s own is the last to be dug up.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Of course, age or gender certainly does not preclude one’s appreciation of old man socks and the wisdom of becoming nobody.

The realization that the hyper-intentional pursuit of trying to be somebody other than one self is a misguided (and entirely too common) pursuit influenced by the ever-presence and dominance of social conventions and media noise.

From childhood, social messages implicitly and explicitly tell us how to behave, what image to portray, what products will supposedly provide the perception of such an image, what to study in college, what career to pursue (usually based upon money and social status) and how to define “retirement” and how to obtain it in the quickest fashion.

Amidst this noise, and along the path to become somebody, the true self becomes covered or hidden.

“Health is the greatest possession.  Contentment is the greatest treasure.  Confidence is the greatest friend.  Non-being is the greatest joy.” ~ Lau Tzu

I expect many readers of PTB can add their depth of thought to this subject (and I hope many will do so in comments following this post), but here are my thoughts and observations attributable to the values found underneath old man socks – the wisdom of becoming nobody:

•    Contentment:  Being comfortable in your own skin (and socks) and being content with your present monetary, material and social wealth (or lack thereof) actually makes you “rich” – not the attainment of “more.”  As Epicurus said, “If thou wilt make a man happy, add not unto his riches but take away from his desires.”
•    Giving / Unintended Success:  The dedication to a cause greater than oneself, with little or no selfish motives, is the greatest enabler of success.  In other words, not caring about success will sooner provide a higher quality of success than a hyper-intentional desire to quickly create it.
•    Self-awareness:  The simple awareness of who you are, where you are going and why you are going there is essential in separating (and uncovering) your self from social conventions.  As Lau Tzu said, “If you don’t change direction, you may end up where you are heading.”
•    The Power of Nothingness:  Continuing upon the Taoist theme, there is power in “nothingness” and assuming the “low position:” The rivers flow to the ocean because it is in the lowest position; the high inclines toward the low; a ship floats because the hull is hollow; simplicity is stronger than complexity; less is more; creation follows destruction; something comes from nothing; and somebody comes from nobody.

“We get so much in the habit of wearing disguises before others that we finally appear disguised before ourselves.” ~ Francois de la Rochefoucauld

Returning to the primary theme, woven into the lighthearted fabric of old man socks, one can see the value of becoming nobody.

Which of these is more of a tragedy – wearing a “disguise” in the pursuit of becoming somebody or something other than one self or wearing old man socks and being content with becoming nobody?

The former is an empty victory – a tragedy of self.  The latter is a tragedy of fashion; however, it is a victory of self – it embodies the wisdom of becoming nobody.

What are your thoughts?  Have you discovered the wisdom of becoming nobody?

Kent Thune is a Guest Blogger for PickTheBrain. He is the author of the Financial Philosopher.

‘If I had eight hours to chop down a tree, I’d spend six sharpening my axe.’
Abraham Lincoln

Have you watched TV programs like Downsize Me? I really enjoy watching this! People who lead unhealthy lifestyles are given a ‘lifestyle makeover.’ They usually end up losing weight and finding more happiness by the end of the show. Obviously they do make great strides over the two months they are being followed by the cameras, but I often wonder how many of these people go back to their old unhealthy ways once the TV cameras have left. The trouble is that these kind of programmes focus on external things – diet, exercise, giving up smoking – but they don’t address the inner world of the individuals they are seeking to treat. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with eating better, giving up smoking, drinking less and doing more exercise, but there’s something deeper here.

The mind-body connection

The connection between mind and body is becoming more accepted in mainstream medicine. If you think about it, this connection is pretty obvious. When you get excited or nervous or panicky, that feeling starts in your mind but has an immediate effect on your body. When you fall in love, you can feel it in your body. When you watch a sad movie, you might start to cry. When you find out you’ve won the lottery or got an ‘A’ grade on an exam, your heart will start to beat faster and you’ll feel all sorts of other physical effects.

R. Veenhoven carried out a scientific study of the effects of happiness on health and concluded that happy people are less likely to get sick and that they live longer. The difference between happy and unhappy people was comparable to the difference between smokers and non-smokers in terms of life span. Veenhoven’s findings can be found in The Journal of Happiness Studies (yes there really is a scholarly journal about happiness!)

Our autopilot

We all run on subconscious programmes. It’s how we manage to survive in the world. If we had to think about everything we did, we wouldn’t be able to function – there would simply be too much to think about! Our subconscious takes control of much of our life so that, in essence, we are running on autopilot. Examples of these habitual patterns are being untidy, being late and being poor. All these things come from the subconscious mind. Being sick is also a subconscious habit. I’m not suggesting that all sickness has its origin in the mind (though it might, and many people believe this), but we all know people who constantly get sick, and if they were ever healthy for more than a few months, their subconscious mind would find a way of getting back on track by bringing along an illness of some kind.

Our subconscious scripts often come from our childhood and they were developed because they gave us an advantage. The benefits of being sick, as a child, are that (for example) people will pay more attention to you, you might get a day off school, you might get some special treats or you’ll get treated better than your siblings. I’m sure we all remember the sheer joy of days off school as a child because of some minor ailment. When we grow up, these scripts stay with us. Sometimes they can still confer an advantage on us – maybe we still get attention from our family or a day off work – but they may also be problematic and destructive to our lives.

The strange thing is that many of us (most of us, in fact) don’t realize this is what’s happening. We are not even aware of the autopilot and think that things are happening to us, and not that we are controlling the way things turn out. But the reality is that we are in control and we do have a choice.

How to re-script your subconscious

Viktor Frankl wrote that ‘between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.’

In that space, we can create ourselves anew. We need the right kind of self-talk. We talk to ourselves all day long, so we need to make sure we are saying the right things. We also see ourselves in certain scenarios in our mind’s eye. We need to make sure these visualizations are of what we want to achieve, how we want to feel and what sort of person we want to be. Ultimately, we are trying to construct a good self image. When we have clear image of the person we intend to be in our mind, then our subconscious will start to run that script and the image will become reality. A change in our mind will work its way out.

We need to take responsibility for our lives. Forcing ourselves to endure exercise and eat salad whilst all the time telling ourselves that we are unhealthy and unable to really change will get us nowhere. We need to do it the other way round – start off with the belief that we are fit and healthy, and this will become part of our reality. Spending a lot of time on our mental preparation makes all the difference to our success or failure. Sharpening the axe will make it a lot easier to cut down the tree.

Michael Miles writes at effortlessabundance.com. You can download his new book, Thirty Days to Change Your Life, at the site.

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I am not sure how many of you are aware of the truly motivating and vastly inspiring story of Beethoven’s Ode To Joy. If you’d permit me, I’d like to share it with you.

Most of Beethoven’s masterpieces were composed while he was deaf. Many of us, me included, might be horrified should we ever become deaf. However, Beethoven would not allow deafness to stand in his way. He had found a way to get over that obstacle.

His love for music strengthened his self-motivation to compose one masterpiece after the other without giving in to the challenge he had. He had music in him, and nothing, not even his deafness, would take charge of him.

And, as we all know, he triumphed over his deafness.

Beethoven set the music to the last movement of the Ninth Symphony to a poem entitled “Ode To Joy”. He strongly believed this poem celebrated the brotherhood of man.

On May 07th, 1824, Beethoven conducted the Ninth Symphony. When the “Ode To Joy” movement was over, the audience erupted in applause. Beethoven, however, did not turn around to accept the round of applause, as he could not hear it. Noticing this, one of the chorus members took it upon himself to step out of line and take hold of Beethoven’s arm to turn him around to face the audience.

But by then the applause had subsided.

As Beethoven quietly looked out into the audience, they all arose, one by one, in standing ovation, their applause thunderous. It is said that a single tear of joy skated down the composer’s cheek. It is also said that a small tear had rolled down the chorus member’s cheek who stood next to him.

This story made me think. I asked myself a few questions, which I will address to you. What do you have that is inside of you, that’s so strong, that it can triumph over your shyness, your fear, your lack of self-confidence or lack of self-motivation?

What will bring your tear of joy? Who will take you by the arm and turn you around when you are down and out, or facing the wrong direction, or on the wrong road, so you may not only see but also hear your standing ovation? The applause, the loud cheers, the simultaneous stamping of feet?

As you think of your chorus member, feel him or her standing next to you, shoulder to shoulder. See yourself achieving, see the new highly enthusiastic and motivated you. See the elated you. Hold your chorus member’s hand tightly and double your elation and motivation.

Hear the applause and the cheers of hundreds of people. Hear them cheering you on, calling your name, loving you and you loving them back. Feel it. Immerse yourself in it. Feel it throughout your whole body. That applause and cheer is for you and you only. Get excited. Accept the applause. Hold on to the cheers. Feel the emotion.

Lift your arms in the air and declare: “I am feeling strong, capable and full of life today.” Repeat this declaration three times as loud and as emotionally as you can. Feel an amazing, lively energy flow through your body.

Feel so motivated that you can do anything, absolutely anything, to achieve your goals and dreams in life. Obstacles can be and will be nothing but sprinkles of dust that you can blow away with a single breath.

I believe in much the same way that success breeds success, motivation must breed more motivation. And the more motivation you have the motivated you will become. It’s like stacking one layer of motivation over another.

You trigger more and more motivation. Here are a couple of ways to breed, stack and trigger more motivation:

1.    Celebrate your motivation attitude. Take time out to remind yourself what you have accomplished and how far you’ve come. Celebrate the fact that you had the motivation to start and finish your task, objective or goal.

Celebrate there and then, immediately upon completion of the task or realization of the goal. And celebrate big!

Rejoice the small and large successes and accomplishments. Honor each one, individually. Allow each success to bring with it its own sense of fulfillment. This fulfillment will give you the added surge of motivation to bring in more successes.

Make it a point to be motivated to achieve as many successes as you can. Size doesn’t matter! A small success is still a success. That’s how the mind sees it.

Motivation is like a snowball – it keeps gaining momentum. Imagine what will happen when you stack one motivation over the other. The snowball will get bigger, sooner.

2.    Reward your motivation attitude. We all love rewards, don’t we? Make it a habit to reward yourself for being and remaining motivated. Have a long bubble bath, go to the movies or a restaurant, buy a pair of shoes, a handbag, a watch. It is important to reward yourself, and as you do, you will look forward to the next reward.

By consistently celebrating and rewarding your motivation attitude you will stimulate and encourage additional motivation. It will be within you waiting to be automatically summoned.

Commemorate your motivation to get you where you want to be. Have a party, have fun and watch your successes escalate.

Hani Al-Qasem is a published author and personal growth specialist. He co-authored Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps and Establish Powerful Self-Enhancing Beliefs.

Download the free e-book Establish Powerful Self-Enhancing Beliefs and eliminate the limiting beliefs that keep you from enjoying happiness and success. Get motivated and Stay Motivated to achieve more.

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Since you’re reading Pick the Brain, it’s a safe bet that you’ve got some level of interest in self-improvement, personal development, or simply getting a bit more from life. Whatever your goals, you’re hoping that you’ll find some advice that will help you reach them. You might well read a number of other popular blogs on similar topics, such as Dumb Little Man or Zen Habits.

Yet, although you’re getting some good advice and putting some tips into practice, you might feel like you need a bit more. You’re skimming blogs on coffee breaks at work, or in between childcare duties at home. And with bite-sized posts of 600 words or so, bloggers are only covering individual topics in discreet sections.

If you want to take yourself to a new level, you need to read books as well as blogs.

Why Should I Read Books?

Don’t get me wrong, blogs are great, and you can get true and deep insights from individual blog posts. They’re also easy to fit into your day, and there tends to be a focus on practical, easy-to-implement advice. But books can complement blogs powerfully:

Books Give You Greater Depth

It’s an obvious point, but a three hundred page book allows an  author to fully explore a particular theme or theory: a three hundred word blog post doesn’t allow for much depth. Books can help you to make a paradigm shift or step up a level in your thinking.

When You Read Books, You Focus More

Are you skimming this? Look how I’ve put in subheaders to help you follow the argument. If this was a book, the paragraphs would be longer and you might have pages and pages without a subheading. When we read on paper, we tend to be much more focused than when reading online: no stopping to answer emails or see what’s being said on Twitter.

You’ve Paid For The Book

We often value things we’ve paid for over things that are free. Whilst I’m fully in favour of the amount of free content available online, I do find that I’m more likely to commit myself to in-depth reading when I’ve paid for a book.

Hopefully I’ve convinced you of the “why” – now you just need to find time to do some reading…

Finding Time To Read Books

With most of us spending a lot of the day in front of a computer screen, blogs slip easily into little gaps of time, with content designed to be read in just a few minutes. Books are trickier – do you buy books and leave them unread on a shelf for months, even years? Do you make resolutions to read every day, but end up falling into bed each evening without having cracked the spine of your book?

I find that the best way to “make time” is simply to get into a book: once I’m hooked, the extra time seems to materialize from nowhere! Having said that, you might find it easier if you can establish a routine of reading at a particular time of day:

First Thing In The Morning

Reading something motivational can be a great start to your day. The beginning of the day is a great time to work on any big goal: it means that your reading won’t be squeezed out by other demands on your time.

In Your Lunch Hour

If you tend to work through lunch – or if you end up watching YouTube clips and looking at LOLcats – try reading a book instead. It gives your eyes a break from the glowing screen. Find a park bench (which means you’re actually outside!) and steal half an hour away from fluorescent lights and glowing computer screens to really immerse yourself in a different world. Just this switch in environment will allow more absorption and enjoyment of the material.

End Of The Working Day

If you’re a freelancer, or if you have a lot of control over your own hours, you might find that reading a few pages of your book is a good way to close the working day. This can also help you to “switch off” from work mode.

What Should I Read?

So you’ve got the time and the desire to read some useful, insightful books … now you just need to find the reading matter.

I’ve got a few favorites, but I won’t recommend them here: your needs might well differ from mine. This is how I found the books that I now love…

Read Book Reviews

Most popular books are heavily reviewed on Amazon.com. Don’t focus too much on the star rating – instead, read some of the reviews. You can often get a feel for which reviewers have similar objectives to yours. Sometimes, one or two star reviews don’t mean a book is bad – they just mean that a reader thought it would be a different sort of book!

Don’t just rely on Amazon though: I’ve found it very useful to read book reviews by bloggers who I admire. You might want to check out these lists of reviews:

If you find that everyone seems to be recommending one book, it’s probably worth checking it out!

•    Steve Pavlina’s list of Personal Development Books (very short description of each book)
•    Tim Brownson’s Inspirational Books By Inspirational Authors (short reviews of each book)
•    Trent Hamm’s Twenty Big Ideas: Detailed Summaries and Reviews of Great Personal Finance and Development Books (does what it says in the title!)

Do you have any favorite self-improvement, personal development or similar books? Do you struggle to make time for reading books? Let us know about your tips, experiences and challenges in the comments…

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Everyone smiles.  From industrialized nations to remote tribes, studies have shown that smiling is universal.  Even more stunning is that people from all over the world smile the same way.  Even blind children begin to smile without seeing others smile.  It’s ingrained in the very code that makes us human.

Although smiling comes in many forms, most are actually fake.  In fact, there is only one smile that is genuine. When the corners of the mouth go up, the eyes narrow slightly creating crow’s feet, and the upper half of the cheeks rise, you are experiencing the Duchenne Smile, named by Paul Ekman, an emeritus professor of psychology at the University of California at San Francisco after Guillaume-Benjamin Duchenne, the French physiologist who first studied the muscle that surrounds the eye in 1862.

The Duchenne smile is the one true smile that is a direct result of feeling happy.  But, how do we FEEL happy?  When we receive or give a gift, or see our children smile and laugh, physiological changes take place.  Our hearts beat faster and the flow of blood increases. Skin temperature rises, which makes the skin slightly damper and our fingers tremble.  The experience of a compliment or gift is a trigger.  The trigger sets off changes in the body, which signal the brain to feel happy.

Although this may sound odd at first, try forcing yourself to feeling happy when your muscles are tense, your face is frowned and your brow furrowed.  The involuntary emotions cause our body reaction to signal our brain, which means that happiness arises as much from our body as it does from our thoughts.

The emotions associated with feeling happy are involuntarily controlled by our automatic nervous system.  This is why we cannot simply decide to be happy by influencing involuntary body function.  It is impossible for us to command our blood to flow faster.  We do, however, have the ability to bypass the automatic nervous system.  We have the ability to smile, even without a trigger.

Ekman’s work corroborated that if feelings can come from the body, then happiness can come from a genuine Duchenne smile.  Ekman trained his subjects to control the movement of the muscles that surround the eye to achieve the Duchenne smile.  The result was a signal of happiness without a trigger sent to the brain thereby proving that happiness doesn’t flow in just one direction, and smiling alone can make us happy.

I suggest that we take the work of Ekman to the next level.  If the bodily movement of smiling can make our brains experience feelings of happiness, then why not use the smile as a trigger for others.  What you put out into the world comes back to you.  The next time you are introduced to someone, just give your first name and watch what happens.  More likely than not, they will return the introduction with their first name.  Offer your first and last name, and you will receive the same.  Try it with a smile.  I’m sure you will find a smile in return.  This effect can influence your happiness and the feelings of everyone you come into contact with throughout your day.  By smiling more and passing it along, you truly put the Duchenne smile effect into action.

Tommy Galan is a guest blogger for PickTheBrain. He is the author of HappyUniverse.com, a blog dedicated to designing happy lives through exciting goals and healthy lifestyle.  A few of his many adventures include performing on Broadway, earning a Juris Doctorate, finishing marathons, and traveling the world.  He lives in New York City with his wife and son.

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Ahh, motivation hacks!

If you’re anything like me, you have tried dozens of motivation hacks in your life, with varying degrees of success. (Ever tried the one of spinning a dead cat around your head thirteen times in a graveyard at midnight during full moon? No? Weird, I thought everybody knew that one…)

Thankfully, your search is now over! You have reached Vlad’s Ultimate Motivation Hack Formula! (I was going to throw in a few other fancy words, like “passion” and “synergy”, but if I ever decided to trademark it, the paperwork would kill me.)

I’m not just going to throw a simple technique at you. Oh no. We’re going to dig deeper into the STRATEGY of motivation. And from there, I will help you build the ultimate Motivation Hack that works for YOU personally!

Okay, ready?

Why do you need a motivation hack anyway?

Let’s face it. If you’re looking for a motivation hack, that means there’s something you feel you HAVE TO do, or SHOULD DO, but you don’t feel like doing it.

Pause for a moment and think about it. It’s so obvious you probably never even considered it. And yet it holds the key to motivation.

When I was a kid I used to jump out of bed at 6 am on the weekend, all excited. Why? Because the morning cartoons were on! And yet during weekdays, I would be hard pressed to drag myself out of bed by 7:30.

Notice something? During the week, I HAD TO get up. On the weekend, I WANTED TO get up!

So if you’re looking for a motivation hack, that means you don’t really WANT TO do something. You logically know you SHOULD be doing it, but your emotions tell you otherwise. You associate pain with doing it.

In a moment, I will share the Ultimate Motivation Hack with you. But first, there’s one more thing you need to understand. It might even shatter your model of reality. I’m going to show you why bribing yourself is directly COUNTER-PRODUCTIVE as far as motivation goes!

Why bribing yourself doesn’t work:

Let’s say you have some writing that you want to get finished. But you don’t feel like doing it. So what would most people immediately do? Bribe themselves! They decide to stick it out, and then reward themselves with a cold beer or a chocolate bar or any other kind of reward.

Nooooo! That absolutely KILLS motivation in the long term!

“But it works!” I hear you say.

Well, yes and no. Bribing yourself might get the task done this time. But it also associates even more pain to doing the task, because you now see it as this annoying painful thing you need to get through to get your reward. The next time you want to do the same task, it will be even harder to get motivated.

Through bribing, you don’t get yourself to the point where you WANT to do something. You only reinforce the notion that it’s something you HAVE TO suffer through to get a reward.

Remember when I told you it’s all about what you WANT TO do vs. what you HAVE TO do? It’s a deep principle. Remember it every time you struggle with motivation.

Okay, now let’s move on to the grand finale! How to build your own motivation hack for every situation!

The Ultimate Motivation Hack

Hold this in mind – you want to get to the point where you WANT TO do the task.

The best way I found was… to make the task itself FUN!

Like this one time, I had to sweep the living room floor. I spent hours procrastinating and thinking up excuses for not doing it. Then I stopped myself! I realized I was procrastinating because sweeping the floor was bloody boring! (i.e. painful). So I thought about how to make it fun for myself, and I came up with a solution! I decided to make it more challenging!

I stood on one leg, lifted the other one up while bending my body forward (forming a T-shape) and swept the floor like that, hopping around on one leg! (I also started talking in weird voices and eventually fell over from laughing at myself.)

Don’t take yourself too seriously . In fact, making a fool of yourself is a great way to start enjoying the task again.

A couple of months back, I started really strugging with writing. It became a painful chore, and I even thought of quitting blogging. But when I stopped myself and thought deeply about the problem, I realized I simply started taking myself too seriously! I had built up a readership, and I started caring about what they thought. (As in, “What would they think of me if I wrote this silly stuff?”)

Then I realized it doesn’t matter. If somebody doesn’t like my writing style, they’re free to stop reading. Being myself is more important than impressing strangers. And once I realized that, and stop censoring myself, the floodgates opened! Writing became easy again, because I was having FUN while doing it! (Plus, I got a lot more positive responses from readers!)

So if you want to build a motivation hack for yourself, just remember: It’s about making the task FUN.

You can make it more challenging, or more silly, or more ridiculous (I had a friend in high school who hated how formal the essays had to be. One day he decided to instead make it AS FORMAL AS POSSIBLE, using incredibly long convoluted sentences and fancy words, to see if the teacher caught on to the irony. She never did…)

I’m not going to give you “the one hack”. Because no one technique works for every person in every situation.

Instead, I will let YOU create hacks that work for YOU in each particular situation! Based on the principles I shared in this post, you can create your own motivation hack for every situation. And THAT is the Ultimate Motivation Hack.

Vlad Dolezal is a guest blogger for PickTheBrain. Check out Vlad’s blog Fun Life Development for more fun and exciting personal development tips. He’s even got a few posts waiting there especially for you!

How many times have you had these thoughts: “I need to go out there and do it” or “I should go to the gym more than once a week” or “I ought to wake up thirty minutes earlier to revise my presentation” or any other ‘could’ve’, ‘would’ve’, should’ve’?

If you’re like me, you’ve probably had many of these thoughts. But how many of them did you actually commit yourself to in the long term?

More than likely, not enough!

You know you should go for this, you ought to do that, or you would like to do the other. But the ‘knowing’, the ‘ought to’ and the ‘would like to’ are not going to make things happen.

Why haven’t things changed the way you wanted them to? Why haven’t you committed to going to the gym more than once a week, or why haven’t you gotten up thirty minutes earlier to revise your presentation?

The answer lies in motivation: The skill of getting yourself to take action to achieve your goals, no matter what.

The great thing about life is that you can learn, develop and master the skill of getting and staying motivated, so you can accomplish the things that you have always wanted.

Feeling more motivated, you will become more energetic, more willing and capable, stronger to face any of life’s challenges and hurdles. With enthusiasm and motivation you will take on everything and anything and you will continue moving ahead until you have accomplished what you set out to do; where you will happily and eagerly look forward to your next gym visit, or getting up early to revise your presentation.

No more excuses!

And what is the power, the motivating power that can keep you going on and on until you’ve fulfilled your true potential?

In one word, it is passion.

I am not talking about a mere wish, a simple want or a plain request. I am talking about a resolute and tenacious desire, a true passion, where you do whatever it takes for you to achieve what it is that you seek.

The more you are passionate about what it is that you want – your resolute desire – the stronger your motivation is, and inevitably the more successful you will be.

Once you have found your passion, motivation is effortless.

Your intense desire, your fervent passion is what fuels your core and inner motivation. This motivation will bring about inspired action to make things happen.

Motivation and intense desire go hand in hand. This desire, your compelling goal or passion, is your journey and motivation is the fuel that will get you there.

Turn that desire into a firm goal and allow motivation to get you there, one step at a time. One step today, one step tomorrow, the day after, every day, every week and every month until you achieve your goal.

More often than not, it is the first step that is the hardest. And it is only after you have made a series of steps, even a series of small steps that it gets easier.

Here are three potent ways to put a fire under your motivation:

1.    Know your desire. Your first step is to measure the strength of your passion. Is it a solid desire that you really want? Is it something that you excites you? This means looking at yourself through a clear lens and finding out who you really are. What makes you tick? What makes you happy and fulfilled? Often we are bombarded by many external factors telling us what should make us happy, what should define us as successful. The fact of the matter is only you can know what makes you happy. Take the time to honestly strip away all of the societal layers and pressures and really see who you are. The world doesn’t define you, you are the creator of your own world. You are responsible for your own happiness and productivity. You will not find this happiness, productivity, motivation or inspiration if you are trying to achieve things based on others’ standards.

Once your passion is clear-cut and compelling, deep-seated in your thoughts, it becomes very easy for you to keep it at the forefront of your mind. Given that this passion is so important to you, it will be effortless for you to keep a clear image of your desire, passion or goal.

2.    Know your benefits. Your second easy step is to ignite that passion even more. Get yourself a journal and make a list of the benefits that you will attain on the journey as you pursue your passion and the benefits that you will get when you achieve each passion or goal.

At this point, it is important that you involve your four senses as best you can. When you write a benefit, close your eyes and measure the strength of it. If it does not excite you, it is not powerful enough. Rewrite each benefit until it electrifies you.

It is essential that you involve your senses. See the benefits, hear the benefits, smell the benefits and touch the benefits.

3.    Know your action steps. This last step will be remarkably easy for you. Why? The sheer power of your passion and the mighty energy you feel from seeing, hearing, smelling and touching the benefits will have incredible and stimulating clout that will motivate you into action.

When you are so passionate about your goal, when your desire has great influence over you, you will inevitably take action to make that passion a reality, even when you are not in the mood, tired or it’s late at night.

There will be no excuses! Your motivation will incite action. It will automatically spur you on.

Keep seeing, hearing, smelling and touching your passion to maintain your motivation level at a height you never thought possible.

Rekindle the fire under your motivation by reviewing your desire, your passion and goal, and you will be able to go ahead and achieve with very little effort.

Learn how to eliminate the limiting beliefs that keep you stuck where you are. Download the free book Establish Powerful Self-Enhancing Belief and start achieving today.

Hani Al-Qasem is a published author and personal growth specialist. He co-authored Self-Confidence Building in 7 Steps and Establish Powerful Self-Enhancing Beliefs.

Image courtesy of: Clarity25

You dusted off your resume. Polished it up. Killed it in the interview. And Congratulations, you were hired!

Initially you are excited, relieved and proud – (as you should be!) – but as the starting date of your new position looms ever closer, often these first feelings are overshadowed by a growing sense of nervousness and anxiety, climaxing five minutes before you walk in that front door for the first time. Natural insecurities and doubts prevail: Why did they hire me? What if I don’t know what I’m doing? What if I don’t fit in?

Before you let these nerves get to you, it is important to know that if you care about this job even remotely these feelings are far more common than not, and it is a fact that everyone at the office you’re about to walk into had a first day there at some time or another. Having said that, though the first day on a new job won’t define your entire existence there (cumulative hard work and results will), it sets a tone that will either work for or against you, depending on how you play it. And like most things in life, a little upfront planning will go a long way to ensuring your ultimate success.

Getting There: “Nobody plans to fail, they fail to plan.”

Plan your route: Nothing is more important on that ominous first day than simply making it on time. Seems easy enough. But though you can count on your own punctuality, often times it seems like every other car on the road is conspiring against you. Plan for that. Plan for the broken down Civic in the middle of the intersection. Plan for the grandmother with Cataracts oblivious she is driving in the fast lane. Make sure you leave with ample time to get there and plan your route in advance. This is valuable time that can be used to get calm and focused, instead of weaving through traffic at break-neck speeds, cursing out everybody in you’re way because you’re now late.

Dress right:  When you’re looking good, you’re feeling good. Plan what you’re going to wear, being conscious of your new environment, the night before so you don’t have to make frenzied and hurried decisions in the morning. Putting on something that feels and looks good has a tremendous positive effect on our psyche and confidence, and is essential to a first impression. Conversely, wearing something ill planned or inappropriate can leave you feeling awkward and out of place all day.

Do your homework: Learn as much as you can about your new employer/company before you start – partners, managers, clients, any press on the company. This will allow you to get a sense of how the company works before you ever step in it. (This is also good advice for all jobs you’re interviewing for, so you can prioritize your choices should you start getting offers. Some companies will be a far better personal fit for you than others.)

Making a Connection:

The routine: Be vigilant of your new office culture – there are often very obvious hierarchies if you take the time to check it out. Every office has its little eccentricities and specific ways of doing things, the quicker you spot them the quicker you’ll be welcomed in. And remember to be flexible. Just because you did something a certain way in your past situation, doesn’t mean it’s going to fly here. New environment, new protocol.

Introductions:  Make a concerted effort to get to know your colleagues. Often co-workers will go out of their way to be welcoming on your first day. Be open to this. A warm smile and a firm handshake will go a long way. As well, if there are people that you haven’t formally met, introduce yourself. It is important to get to know people at all levels. Though you would never want to forget your superior’s names, it is just as advantageous to get to know the assistants, temps and interns, as more often than not they’re actually the ones getting things done and a sincere introduction by you will be noticed and appreciated.

Information: On day one remember you are student not a teacher. Know you know enough to be there (you were hired after all!) but also know enough to know you can always know more. Don’t regale your mentor with stories of the way you used to work, you’re in a new environment and that comes along with a whole new set of work practices. Inevitably as you’re being whisked around for a tour many names and information will be thrown out to you: You’re not expected to remember everything on day one, so be inquisitive and ask questions – be a good student.

The water cooler: Positivity breads positivity. Often in an attempt to make you part of the group, some employees will try and bring you up to speed on all the office gossip. While this can be funny and entertaining, try not to engage in this. Often conversations like this come back to haunt you down the line. Remember they’re not your friends, they’re your co-workers – be professional. Conversely, if asked about your old job, even if you had a really bad experience, pull from the positive – it puts you in a better light and generates far more long-term respect.

First Day Work Ethic: The first day at a new job is often like the first day back at school. There will be a lot of action, a lot of information, but you will probably be expected to get very little actual ‘work’ done, as you’re getting the lay of the land. This does not mean however that you should leave right at 5pm sharp. Symbolic actions like putting in that little bit of extra time, even if you’re not swamped right off the bat, are often noticed and appreciated. Slipping out 5 minutes early because you don’t have much to do will undoubtedly have the opposite effect.

Making Connections Last:

Ultimately you will be judged on your job performance and productivity. Work not only hard, but smart. Creating a comfortable, flowing work atmosphere is often imperative to maximum efficiency. Though you may have first day jitters, setting the correct tone – professional and engaging – from day one, will go a long way to helping create the best environment for you.

Finally, a special thanks to everyone at PickTheBrain that made my first day at work truly joyous!

When you’re trying to live a full, productive and effective life, it’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to do it all yourself. Whether this means micro-managing at work, or dealing with every little thing at home, it can initially seem like a way to make sure things are done properly.

Before long, of course, you end up feeling frazzled. You’re spending a lot of time on low-level tasks, you’re overworked, and you don’t ever seem to get a chance to pursue activities that really excite you.

If you’re someone whose mantra is “if you want a job done well, do it yourself,” there are two crucial ways to reduce the burden: you need to eliminate and delegate.

Eliminate

The first, easiest, way to get rid of stuff that’s filling up your life is to eliminate it. If you start on your to-do list before breakfast and still have loads to do at bedtime, you’re trying to pack too much in.

Here are some good questions to ask yourself when considering what to eliminate.  Work through the questions in order for each big commitment you have in your life; if you hit a “no” answer, stop reading and start thinking about whether you can eliminate it.

•    Do I want to do this? If not, why am I doing it? Is it because I feel obliged? Can I remove or at least reduce my commitment?
•    Does this need to be done? If not, why do I have it on my to-do list? Is it because someone has told me I should do it? (E.g. parent, society at large.)
•    Am I learning anything from doing this? If I used to learn from this, and no longer do, is it time to move on?
•    Would I feel at all sorry to give this up?

Many of us have great trouble saying “no” to people. If you’re asked to take on something that you don’t want to do, or don’t have time to do well, then learn to say “I’m sorry, I can’t commit to that at the moment.” If you’re pushed, simply repeat yourself, and add that “I won’t take on something where I know I don’t have the time to do a good job.”

If you really can’t think what you might eliminate, ask “what’s the worst that could happen if I gave this up?”

Delegate

Some jobs do need to be done, however boring or tiresome they are. Perhaps you hate doing the dishes, or doing your taxes. Whether it’s a personal or work task, look for ways to delegate:
•    Pass on low-level work tasks to junior colleagues (invest some initial time in teaching them how to do the job well – don’t just dump a task on them and expect them to figure it out).
•    Teach your kids how to perform basic chores. You might consider offering a small amount of extra pocket money in exchange.
•    Hire someone to clean your home once a week.
•    Let your spouse or older kids take a turn at cooking. It may not be up to your gourmet/macrobiotic/frugal standards, but praise the results and the effort that went in.
•    Pay an accountant to do your taxes for you (a good accountant will save you more than his/her fee).
•    Outsource very simple and routine tasks, like data entry, to a virtual assistant firm or individual – R3R has a number of reviews of virtual assistant firms and sites.

If you manage a group of volunteers (eg. in a church or community setting), this is another good opportunity to delegate – especially as it’s likely that the group will consist of people with a number of very different skills. Get people to list what their areas of expertise are, and play to those strengths: for example, you might find that someone who’s worked in events management can organize the annual gala, whereas an English major might be just the person for writing the monthly newsletter.

Do you have any tips on how to effectively eliminate or delegate tasks? Are you someone who needs to “do it all”, or are you realistic about how much you can take on?

Related Articles:

Knowing When to Cut Your Losses and Call It Quits 

Do It First Thing, Everyday: How To Tackle Any Project

Dear Pick The Brain Readers:

I’d like to thank all of our loyal readers and writers for sticking with us as the site has gone through a slightly inactive period. Being an avid reader of PTB for some time, when the opportunity arose to revitalize the blog, it was with great pleasure that I accepted the position of Editorial Director. PickTheBrain.com is one of the highest quality, most respected Self-Improvement sites on the web, due in equal parts to it’s valuable, practical and inspiring content and the incredible community of users that continue to support it so enthusiastically!

Now more than ever, in these chaotic, uncertain and challenging times, it is both difficult and important to stay focused and motivated. There definitely are opportunities out there to turn the corner and reignite your path to success (yes, I’m a glass half-full girl!); they’re just a little harder to find. My commitment to you is to continue to make Pick The Brain a trusted resource to help you discover the best ways to lead an ever-more productive, fulfilled and motivated life!

Starting NOW, I will be publishing new articles from some of your favorite, as well as new writers on an almost daily basis, and we’ll soon be reaching out to our readers on Twitter, Facebook and in other outlets (you can start following us on twitter.com/pickthebrain). Your comments and suggestions are always welcome and encouraged. Please feel free to email me directly at erin@pickthebrain.com with topics you would like to see covered…or anything else on your mind.

Be well and happy achieving!

Erin