Image courtesy of Eschipul

Around this time of the year, it is commonplace to discuss resolutions, goals and objectives for the next year; but I want to do something slightly different. I want to discuss two topics that test our character and allow us to live the life we dream about: forgiveness and vision. I want to discuss how to truly forgive and have a clear vision of what we want to do, where we want to go and most importantly, how we want to feel during our time on this beautiful planet.

True Forgiveness

I understand that forgiveness is no easy task. This is especially true of the most important aspect of true forgiveness; self-forgiveness.

The ego screams loudly and clearly that we should focus on all the wrongdoers in our lives. I can assure you from personal experience that if you are able to hold up a mirror and be kind and forgiving to yourself, you are on the path to true freedom. You will be unable to move forward on your path to true personal growth if you are full of blame, condemnation and engaged in default escape behaviors rather than dealing with the issues you need to address.
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Image courtesy of Arwen Abendstern

Do you find yourself consistently miserable and stressed? I used to but now even my infamous ‘grumpy-old-man’ moods are underpinned by a strong undercurrent of contentment and joy. Why? Because along the way I have learned some awesome ideas that helped me to discover deep and lasting happiness. Here’s 7 of them…

1. Stop Looking for Happiness

When I was growing up my mother was often depressed. At the time I had never experienced this (it came later) and I didn’t understand it. By the time I was about twenty I figured out one reason why she was so regularly unhappy: because she was focusing on wanting to be happy too much.

I gave her a cheesy embroidery piece in a frame (warning: cheesy, but actually works) which said:

“Happiness is like a butterfly: If you chase it, it flies away, but when you turn your attention to other things, it comes and quietly lands on your shoulder.”

I have no idea if she ever really got anything out of that, but soon after she started to study accounting, and went on to become a practicing accountant. She had always enjoyed numbers and so she was quite happy with this career path, which was her first ever full-time job outside of the home.
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Image courtesy of Hamed Masoumi

Everywhere on and off the web, people talk about the benefits of planning. Plans help you define your goals, help you determine what tasks are needed and when you need to do them. And plans help you stay on track when distractions set in. So, what’s not to love about plans?

Lots.

When you overplan, you live in the future instead of the present, plan instead of do, and lose adaptability. All three of these mean you lessen your chances of reaching your goals. Instead you fumble around in the plan, wondering why despite all the hard work you’re doing, your business isn’t growing, your house renovations aren’t going anywhere, you aren’t losing weight, or you’re not reaching whatever goal you’re pursuing.

Fortunately the solution is easy.

1. Create a mental sketch of the future you want.
2. Work backwards to get where you are now.
3. Go step by step forwards again noting down the crucial steps.
4. Start implementing the plan, and
5. Let the details fill themselves in as you get to them.

On his blog 6weeks.ca Brett Legree has a great take on the 80/20 rule. Eighty percent of our actions are unnecessary detail he says. If you can figure out the 20% that’s mission critical, then your plan becomes easy to fulfill.

But before we go into too much detail about the solution, let’s look at the problems of overplanning in more detail.
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Can a mop and a dust cloth bring happiness and luck?

Back in August, I picked up a book written by Mr. Mitsuhiro Masuda (in Japanese) who advocates the power of cleaning and decluttering.  He maintains that we can be happier and luckier by cleaning up our place of living.  I was a brand-new entrepreneur at that time, meaning my business was starting to attract some clients but not enough to be in full operation, so I had time and was willing to try anything to improve the situation.

Now, I know grabbing a dust cloth and reorganizing the bookshelf is as boring as it gets in personal development. But we intuitively know our environment affects our mood. When we are in a poorly-lit, cluttered room where we can’t find what we need and what we see doesn’t resonate with who we are, we feel messy, sad, frustrated, and out of place.  How can we feel bright, efficient, well-organized and be in the natural flow of energy?  Clean up!

Many people are big on decorating their place.  That is fine.  But cleaning needs to happen before decorating.  Before creating your new YOU, you need to let go of your old YOU. Physically taking care of your environment by cleaning and decluttering can stimulate letting go of your mental clutter that has been holding you in the old pattern.

The 21 Day Outside In Personal Development Program

The book came with the 21 day action plan.  It’s a good plan, but very women-oriented, so I have modified it to be helpful for everyone.  You work in one area for three days, totaling seven areas of your place of living.
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