Image courtesy of *Zara

Who’s in control of your life? Who’s pulling your strings?

For the majority of us, it’s other people – society, colleagues, friends, family or our religious community. We learned this way of operating when we were very young, of course. We were brainwashed. We discovered that feeling important and feeling accepted was a nice experience and so we learned to do everything we could to make other people like us. We didn’t want to be singled out by the crowd for being different because this wasn’t such a nice feeling. We learned this way of being so well that, as adults, we continue – mostly through mutual peer pressure – to keep each other in check. Like sheep without any need for a sheepdog, we keep each other in line.
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Many people find it hard to forgive. As we go through life, it’s inevitable that we’ll come across people who wrong us in one way or another. From the one who cuts you off in traffic to the one who puts you on hold and forgets about you, there’s no shortage of people out there who aren’t treating us exactly the way we’d like. Unfortunately, we’re rather limited in our ability to influence their behavior. But the good news is that we have a lot of control over how we react to them.

Why forgive?

First of all, keep in mind that it’s generally in your best interest to forgive people. Choosing to carry a grudge forever keeps you from ever repairing the relationship. Long after you’ve forgotten what the other person actually did, you’re still focused on being mad at them because you’re stuck in that habit. It’s very easy to blow something way out of proportion because you think too much about what went wrong instead of how to make it right. Don’t be too attached to your anger.

Another thing to consider is what you accomplish by not forgiving. You might decide never to forgive Hitler, and I can’t really object to that. In that case, many people would consider forgiveness to mean compromising their integrity. But what about someone who just made a rude comment about you? Do you really need to be mad at them forever? Is it really worth the stress and the higher blood pressure, or can you just let it go? Just because you might be justified in being mad, doesn’t mean it’s your best option.
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Image courtesy of brunkfordbraun

I’m going to ask you something you’ve probably not been asked before in the context of your work: Are you a ninja, a pirate, or a zombie? Or a bit of all three?

The Ninja Attitude

The Ninja is sickeningly efficient. He gets up at five am. He reads blogs about “life-hacking”. He custom-codes his own Firefox plugins. He multitasks by listening to audiobooks at triple speed whilst jogging to work. He sets up complicated systems to manage every aspect of his life. He knows twenty uses for a paperclip. His computer is, frankly, a bit terrifying.

You might be a Ninja if people have said:

• “I don’t know how you get so much done.”
• “Why do you need three computer screens?”
• “What do you mean, hack a moleskine notebook?”

The Ninja is efficiency taken to its extremes – without much regard for effectiveness. He has no hacks for finding purpose, joy or meaning in life. He treats all work as equal, and gets bogged down in trivia. The Ninja has achieved an empty inbox – but at the cost of an empty life.
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Image courtesy of Joiseyshowaa

What do you want to be when you grow up? For some it may be a disturbing notion to consider that even in our late twenties, thirties and beyond we may still find ourselves asking this question of ourselves. Before I was ten years old I knew with naïve assurance what it was I wanted to do with my life. By the time I was twenty I was well established in the career I had decided on ten years before. Shortly after, life came along and swept the board clean.

If you can decide on a long-term career goal having it ahead of you can be a source of comfort and certainty that you can draw on. Knowing what you want to be when you grow up can serve as an anchor point in life. You know where you are and you know where you’re going. You know what needs to be done and have a plan for how to go about doing it.

On the other hand, indecision and uncertainty when it comes to deciding which career path to choose, which job to take or what training to pursue can become burdensome. Some may feel without a well-defined path to tread throughout their working life that they are at sea without an anchor. Simply drifting along to nowhere in particular. Achieving nothing in particular.

And that’s just what to do during work hours.
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