Finding Bliss: How to Reverse Engineer Happiness

The amount of time we spend seeking happiness in the future is mind boggling. We spend exorbitant volumes of time doing things that will supposedly make us happy at some future date.

• We educate ourselves to attain a better career.
• We work long hours to have more money.
• We exercise our minds and bodies for greater strength and intelligence.

We improve for the sake of improving that somewhere, at some distant point down the beaten road we’ll find happiness.

All the while we’re chasing happiness, we don’t realize the fatal, vicious circle we place ourselves in. We’ve habituated ourselves into placing our happiness in the future. We’ve conditioned ourselves into allowing happiness after some level of achievement, that never comes.

We fail to realize a fatal flaw in our logic: what matters most is how you feel. Now.
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3 Strategies for Radically Better Decision Making

If you think about it, your decisions are the only things you are truly accountable for in your life. Everything you say or do is a result of a decision you have made.

In order to improve the quality and confidence you have in the decisions you make, as well as developing more trust in the decisions others make, consider the impact your emotions, vision and needs have on your decision making process.

Manage Your Emotions

Decision making is an emotional event. Emotions bog you down and cloud your ability to make good decisions. Medical science has shown that we make decisions emotionally, not rationally. The data behind this theory points to a small, almond-shaped part of the brain called the amygdala.

The amygdala receives the information before it is passed on to the cognitive part of your brain. The amygdala is primarily responsible for controlling our “flight vs. fight” responses.

Its purpose is to help us react quickly, without really thinking through the situation. This is good if you are confronted by a hungry tiger, but not so good if you are faced with deciding which job offer to take or any other life-changing event.

Based on this theory, science also suggests that 78% of what we think is wrong. Therefore, controlling your emotions and changing how you think is a big contributor to making better decisions. To do this, you must work on your emotional state. If you sometimes struggle with controlling your emotions, try these ideas:
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How to Build Self-Discipline

Discipline is freedom. You may disagree with this statement, and if you do you are certainly not alone. For many people discipline is a dirty word that is equated with the absence of freedom. In fact the opposite is true. As Stephen R. Covey once wrote, “the undisciplined are slaves to moods, appetites and passions”. And in the longer term, the undisciplined lack the freedom that comes with possessing particular skills and abilities – e.g. to play a musical instrument or speak a foreign language.

Self-discipline involves acting according to what you think instead of how you feel in the moment. Often it involves sacrificing the pleasure and thrill of the moment for what matters most in life. Therefore it is self-discipline that drives you to:

• Work on an idea or project after the initial rush of enthusiasm has faded away
• Go to the gym when all you want to do is lie on the couch and watch TV
• Wake early to work on yourself
• Say “no” when tempted to break your diet
• Only check your email a few of times per day at particular times

In the past self-discipline has been a weakness of mine, and as a result today I find myself lacking the ability to do a number of things which I would like – e.g. to play the guitar. But I have improved, and I can say that it is self-discipline that got me out of bed this morning at 5am to run and then write this article. Believe me, I would love to be curled up in bed right now, but this desire is subordinated by my inner sense of purpose.

If you struggle with self-discipline, the good news is that it can be developed. For example, it is only in the past two years that I have trained myself to wake early. The following are what I have found to be the five traits of self-discipline:
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How to Stay Motivated Without Wax & Wane

“Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

We all know that true motivation stems from being passionate about what you’re doing. But there will still be times when your motivation will wax and wane. If there is one way to “hack” your success, remaining consistently motivated would have the biggest impact. A highly motivated person is likely to take action consistently. Without action, there are no results. Duh.

Some days we will inevitably feel more inspired than others. Especially when we’re not getting the results we want, or things are taking longer than we expected.

Here are some reasons our motivation tends to fluctuate:

• We’ve started to do what we love for a living (our passion has become work). We associate all the negative connotations we previously had with dispassionate work.
• We feel since we’re doing what we love as work, it’s become a must, rather than a want.
• The pressure of needing to produce has stifled our creativity. We start to avoid doing what we love.
• We’ve lost sight of the reasons we started our goals in the first place. We’ve become our own taskmasters and have lost touch with our original inspiration.

If we don’t exercise, our muscles will atrophy. In the same way, if we don’t regularly replenish the source of our inspiration, it too will begin to fade. The cure for this common ailment is to regularly regroup and remember why we started in the first place. We need a place we can refer back to, to cultivate our inspiration.
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Free E-Book: A Year of Change

I’m excited to announce I have just finished my first e-book, A Year of Change.

This e-book includes my best articles from my first year of blogging both on Pick The Brain and my own personal blog, The Change Blog. During this year I married, became a first-time father and relocated from Australia to Canada. Perhaps more importantly, during this time I underwent a personal transformation that changed both how I see my life and the world in which we live.

To grab yourself a copy of this free e-book, you simply need to sign up to my monthly newsletter, The Change Blog Newsletter.

I pack this newsletter full of inspiring and useful personal growth material. And I guarantee your information will be kept private and not shared.

Peter writes about how to change your life at The Change Blog. He is also the author of Starting a Blog and Audio Book Downloads.

Stinking Thinking: Do These 8 Patterns of Limited Thinking Apply to You?

“Whatever your mind can conceive and believe it can achieve.” – Napoleon Hill

The way you think has the ability to turn your deepest desires into reality or, alternatively, keep you chained to mediocrity. This article looks at eight patterns of limited thinking – as identified by Dr. S McKay, Davis, and Fanning in their book, Thoughts and Feelings: Taking Control of Your Moods and Life – and how they can be resolved. Breaking these patterns of limited, habitual thought will free you to realize your full potential in life.

1. Overgeneralization

This pattern is characterized by broad, general conclusions based on a single incident or piece of evidence. Overgeneralization often takes the form of absolute statements and uses words such as all, every, none, never, always, everybody and nobody. For example, if you read too many personal development articles you may believe all television is a waste of time.

You can stop thinking in absolutes by using words such as may, sometimes, most and often. Saying some, or even most, television is a waste of time is far easier to take seriously than simply saying all of it is.

2. Polarized Thinking

This is black-and-white thinking, with no room for shades of gray. People and things become either good or bad, smart or stupid, brave or cowardly. President Bush’s declaration in the aftermath of 9/11, “You’re either with us, or against us” is a famous example of such thinking. And we all know know what has happened since….

Fight the urge to make black-and-white judgements by accepting people and things are too complex to be reduced to “either/ or” judgements. This is especially important in regards to judging yourself. Allow yourself some room to make mistakes without automatically labeling yourself a failure.
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How to Survive an Economic Meltdown

There is no shortage of bad news on the economy. Falling house prices, rising gas prices, rising unemployment and falling growth. Even on the most optimistic assessment the future prognosis is bleak. This recession has already caused hardship for those with risky mortgages; rising energy prices means everyone is being affected in some way. These are some tips to deal with the current economic downturn.

Be Flexible

An economic downturn can force us to change direction. Maybe we will lose our job or are faced with declining incomes. Unforced change is rarely welcome, but, if we can be flexible to changing circumstances we will be better able to deal with any new situation we find ourselves in. Flexibility is particularly important in today’s modern economy – full time jobs for life are far less common these days. These are some practical tips to increase our labour market flexibility.

Keep improving your skills. Look for opportunities to develop relevant skills – IT, foreign language, vocational qualifications. It is these extra qualifications which will help in job search and job retention.

Don’t have a fixed mindset. Just because you have had a 9 to 5 job for the past 10 years doesn’t mean this has to be your future. It is important to be open to new opportunities and job prospects, otherwise we unconsciously close off many avenues and income sources.

Be willing to travel. Any downturn is often focused in particular regions or sectors of the economy.

Look beyond your sector. Some sectors such as auto industry, estate agents, construction are being very badly hit in this recession. Don’t fight a losing battle, if your made unemployed in this area, it is better to seek work in different sectors. You could always consider opening a pawn shop – apparently business is booming there.

Be willing to work for yourself. Self employment is one of the fastest growth areas of employment. It involves more risk, but, also offers more opportunities.
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Invaluable Life Lessons from Bon Jovi (That Don’t Involve Living on a Prayer)

Jon Bon Jovi is a legendary rock star from next-town-over-from-me New Jersey. At the same time he’s a songwriter, actor and accomplished entrepreneur. To put some frosting on the cake, Jon went from sweeping floors at a recording studio to selling over 120 million records world-wide.

Some people call it luck, some people call it talent, but I know for a fact that it is Jon’s out look on life that brought him every ounce of success that came his way. The beauty of life is that it is within all of us to adopt a paradigm that will bring us more happiness and success than we could ever imagine.

1. “Success is falling nine times and getting up ten.”

One thing that I think we can all agree upon is that when the going gets tough giving up is easy. Life is made as such that accomplishing easy goals is not nearly as satisfying as going through trials and tribulations acquire a well deserved prize.

That’s why for Jon it was important to trudge past all his failures and get back on his feet until he accomplished his goals. These trials came over and over again in his career and life, and I’m sure he has learned to look forward to the hard times because they are a sign of the rewards to come.
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What We Can Learn From Successful Entrepreneurs

What challenges do we really face when we start our own small businesses, and how can we overcome them? What does it take to make the leap of faith? And what are the rewards of being entrepreneurs?

I have been interviewing successful entrepreneurs for my blog, Yes to Me. So far, I have posted ten articles for this series, interviewing thirteen entrepreneurs (three posts feature a pair of entrepreneurs). These are small business owners who have built profitable businesses that resonate with who they are. Most are bloggers, or at least have web presence, but their businesses vary greatly, from internet marketing to pet insurance company. They include men, women, young, older.

Are there common traits among these entrepreneurs? I think so. This article reviews their answers to two of my standard questions and explores the theme among them so that we can learn from the mistakes and victories they have so gracefully shared with us.

What were the biggest challenges when you were starting as new entrepreneurs?

Lack of money, lack of sales / marketing expertise and self-doubt are the top three challenges they site, followed by lack of business plans, management issues regarding the employees and business partners, time management and multi tasking, and more.

Depending on the business, the capital it takes differs, but even for a one-person operation, money is a challenge. Some of my interview guests mentioned what it was like to bootstrap, and I’m guessing even the ones who didn’t mention it probably went through similar challenges.

The issue of money gets aggravated by the lack of sales and marketing expertise. Many new entrepreneur have the technical skills of their trade but not the sales skill to bring their products and services in front of their target customers in an effective way. They struggle to define their target clients (Stephen) and to find the right pricing (Susanna). They may not have many contacts to network (Monica). Harry says, “We had the skills and the business knowledge we needed, but we knew very little of bringing this to the virtual world.”
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How to Stay Focused: Vision Maintenance and the Minutiae Vacuum

I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure out the best way to stay focused and remain productive. We all know that doing what you love reverse engineers productivity. If you love what you do, you’ll obviously be more compelled to do it, rather than trying to place a productivity system on top of undesirable work.

But sometimes even that’s not enough. It’s easy to get sucked into the minutiae of life and lose focus. It’s easy to spend the majority of your time feeling productive, when most of what you’re doing won’t make a difference a week, a day or an hour from now. Some examples of this productivity illusion include:

• Spending inordinate amounts of time checking and responding to email.
• Organizing your desk for 3 hours a day.
• Detailing, updating, and maintaining calendars and to-do lists more than you actually work.
• Reading books, articles and blogs to learn and find inspiration, but not actually spending any time doing anything.

The Minutiae Vacuum

One of the most effective ways I’ve found to manage my time is to think about your work in terms of impact. By splitting your time up in between A, B and C tasks, it’s easier to get a handle on what is most important and how much time you’re spending spinning your wheels. A tasks are things that have a long term impact, 6 months to a year or more. B tasks are things that are important, but don’t have as much of a long term impact. They might range between 1-6 months. Finally, C level tasks are things that need to be done on a daily or weekly basis, but don’t have much of an impact outside of that time frame. So here’s the break down:
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