Recently I read an article on the taboo of comparing salaries.

Depending on your cultural background and beliefs, you may or may not compare your salaries with your family and friends openly. However, most of us are interested to know how much we earn relative to our peers.

Why is this so? The reason is simple – we are interested to know if we are valuable.

Before you start crying foul, hear me out. Obviously, you know that your self-worth is not dependent on your income. How much you earn has nothing to do with your value as a person.

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What is it that makes people successful and I mean really successful compared to you or me? Are they smarter or do they work harder? Are they risk takers or have powerful and influential friends?

The financial newspaper Investors Business Daily (IBD) asked these same questions a few years ago and started a multi-year search for the answer. They studied industry leaders, investors and entrepreneurs to understand the traits they all had in common that contributed to their success. Reproduced here is their list of 10 Secrets to Success along with my commentary on each no-so-secret, ‘secret’.

I decided to reproduce the list here and comment on each of the traits in hopes of motivating you and myself in the process. It’s time for me to take my own advice and start on the path to my dreams. I hope to motivate you, by using myself as an example.

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Nobody can work all the time. But how does the productive go-getter balance the need to rest with the need to get stuff done? One of the biggest problems that hits both chronic procrastinators and workaholics is not knowing what cycle you’re in. By organizing a plan and making a few simple decisions you can get more done in less time.

What is a cycle? The kind of cycles I’m referring to here are work cycles. That is, a cycle that goes between working hard and having fun. The problem chronic procrastinators face is that they end up stuck in “rest” without being able to push through to work. Workaholics get stuck in “work” without being able to get some rest.

Work or Play? Make a Decision.

Staying stuck in the cycle is probably the worst thing you can do both from a productivity standpoint and being able to enjoy life. When you’re stuck, you can’t really get much done because you’re low on energy. You also can’t have much fun because you feel the pangs of guilt telling you to get to work.

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It’s the news that is guaranteed to change everything: you’re going to be a parent.

It’s funny how extremely different the reaction to this news will be depending on the person hearing it. For some, this is fantastic news and caps off months, even years, of “trying”. For others, this is the news they dread. They have big plans for their life, and it certainly doesn’t involve kids (at least not for the next few years). I was given the unexpected news that I was to become a father on my 24th birthday (what a present!). My reaction was that of the person filled with dread – this was not what I wanted!

It’s amazing, though, how perspectives can change with time. It is now 19 months since I heard the big news, 11 months since my son was born, and 2 months since I discovered our second child is due in July 2008. During this time I have gone from dreading fatherhood to considering it to be one of the greatest things I will do with my life.

The reason I dreaded being a young parent was that I had always pictured myself as being financially secure and well traveled before taking the big step into fatherhood. I also believed that parental responsibilities would be a huge obstacle in the way of having fun. What I have come to believe, though, is that there are certain myths surrounding parenthood. Sure, you can play the victim and believe them if you want. But it is far more enjoyable to smash them into pieces.

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Longtime PickTheBrain reader Marc recently contacted me with the following request:

Hi John. Just wondering if you’re going to post any articles on the importance of quantitative reasoning or perhaps tips on studying math – much like your articles on reading and writing. I think it would be a great idea.

I completely agree. Actually, I’m surprised that we’ve never covered this area before. As a former engineering student, I’ve been through my share of difficult quantitative courses. Although they require many of the same skills as qualitative learning, there are few strategies that don’t overlap.

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It’s time to buy a new calendar and start another year. That also means it’s New Year’s Resolution time, as the gyms flood with eager people trying to shed the holiday pounds and make up for their inactivity in 2007. Unfortunately, most of these people will barely make it through January before sliding back into the couch.

If you’ve decided to start exercising more regularly this year, congratulations. You’ve made a choice that will give you more energy, add years to your life and get you ready for going to the beach in the summer. The only problem is how can you ensure that this commitment to exercise lasts?

For the past two years I’ve been exercising 5-6 days per week with few exceptions. But this wasn’t always the case. It took me four tries to start exercising out of nothing, with the first three sliding back into old habits after a month or two of concentrated effort. Making the switch between willing myself to work out and having it happen automatically wasn’t easy, but I’d like to share some of my experiences with you.

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Our brains have an amazing ability to learn and retain material. The trouble is we don’t have 100% control over this ability — we can tell our brain something is important, but our brain may not listen.

Have you ever told yourself that a particular book is important but you find yourself rereading the pages just to understand the material? It’s difficult to pay attention to material written in a formal tone (like most textbooks) even though you may want to understand it. The problem is you’re fighting against your brain – the most sophisticated computer ever created.

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Has this ever happened to you?

You come out of a deep sleep. Something’s wrong. You can see and hear, but you can’t move! No matter how hard you try, you can’t budge. It’s like you’re paralyzed.

And it gets worse.

You get the impression that there is someone in the room with you. You can’t see or hear him, but somehow you know he (it?) is there. He’s not nice. He means you harm. You instinctively try to draw a deep breath, but you can’t. It feels like there’s some sort of weight on your chest, like you can’t breathe. You start to panic. Will this ever stop?

As suddenly as it began, it’s over. You can move. You turn on a light and survey your bedroom. You see nothing out of the ordinary, nothing out of place. You take a few minutes to calm down and then try to get some sleep…

If something like this has happened to you, you probably experienced Sleep Paralysis.

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How did your studying go last term? Did you spend time learning things as they were being taught, or did you end up having to go through caffeine-loaded, marathon study sessions the night before your finals?

Improving study methods a week before exams isn’t going to help. But if you get the right habits early on in the term, you can save yourself time and agony later.

What are Good Studying Habits?

I’m just another student like yourself. I don’t believe there is one perfect key to excellent grades that will work for everyone. But there are some common themes to improving study habits and not all of them require investing more time. In fact, most of these suggestions will be aimed at reducing your total time usage, by studying smart–not just hard.

I believe learning is a product of investment. If you make small, efficient investments in learning throughout the term you can spare yourself the frustration of cramming near the end. Your grades will thank you and your social life doesn’t need to wither and die to learn more each term.

Here are some tips for improving your study habits next term:

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Do you read the obituaries? I do. In fact, I do it very often.

I have a habit of reading the obituaries. It’s weird, I know – it’s not a common past time for most people. Before you strike me off as another nut case, please hear me out.

Each time I read the obituaries, I will look out for young faces, people in their twenties, thirties and even forties. With an average mortality rate of between 70 to 80 years, these folks had a really short life. It’s such a shame.

OBITUARIES ARE REMINDERS

Each time, I’ll ask myself what it feels like to be in prime of your life and have it ended prematurely. Did they feel shortchanged by life? Did they feel any regret about dreams still unfulfilled? I guess if given another chance, they would probably want to change something; maybe go and actually do something that they have been dreaming of, but never really got around to doing. Maybe they like to tell someone how much he/she mean to them.

Reading the obituaries is a constant reminder to me that our time is limited; a reminder for me to appreciate life, to love life.

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