I’m just going to say it.
There is a huge lack of nice people out there. And it’s sad because being nice really isn’t that hard.
It’s common sense, but unfortunately, common sense isn’t that common nowadays.
I also find that that there are a lot of fake people out there as they put on the facade of being nice and super positive. They try to show that they’re willing to help others when it’s all just an act.
Alas, it is sad. The rest of us, also known as the nice ones have to put in the effort to protect ourselves from the not-so-nice crowd.
This post is to help you become a nice person and also be wary of the crappy people out there.
12 stupid things nice people don’t do
1) They don’t do nice things just to reel in favours
In my experience as a blogger, I’ve encountered a lot of “nice” people who’re very willing to help you out at the start. But they do it because they work with an extreme, “I’ve scratched your back. Now you’ve to scratch mine” mentality.
You can bet that these people will be back to call in some favours, which are usually out of proportion.
Truly nice people don’t do that. They do that to only help. Period. So if you want to help, do it for the sake of spreading the positivity. Nothing more, nothing less.
2) They don’t try too hard
As long as you try too hard, people can tell. People will be able to see right through you and you’d come across as really needy or downright annoying.
You can’t even try too hard to be nice. It doesn’t work that way. Be nice, but be comfortable with it too. People would respect you more.
3) They don’t react negatively when things don’t go their way
This is really stupid to me. I know quite a few people who do nice things, but are really insecure people.
When things don’t go their way, they immediately start to whine and sulk or even get angry. How then, are you really nice that way?
If you want to be nice, be mature about it too. Don’t be a kid.
4) They don’t broadcast to the whole world that they’re nice
In extension to the previous point, insecure people need to validate themselves to others. In this case, they have to let others know that they’re nice people.
They have to let others know about the good things they’ve done which comes across as very pretentious.
Just like how nice people don’t do nice things for favours, nice people don’t put on a show.
5) They don’t keep screwing up
I once encountered a guy who wanted to pick a fight with me. It didn’t happen because his own friends pulled him away.
After that, everyone was telling me, “Oh he’s actually a nice guy.”
I find this extremely ironic. I’ve heard this excuse countless times. Honestly, it does not excuse bad behaviour.
Nobody is perfect, but nice people put in the effort to learn from their mistakes and change for the better. Nice people also know how to apologize (I did not get one).
6) They don’t insist that they’re right
Speaking of (the lack of) apologies, I find that there are people out there who would go on a tirade just to show that they’re right.
They don’t like it that they’re wrong even though it’s not a big deal at all. Or worse, there’re people who would go all out to cover up their mistake.
If you’re wrong, just admit it. It would show that you’re nice because you have humility. If you try too hard to cover it up, people would be able to see right through you anyway.
7) They are not nice to a fault
Being nice should never be confused with being weak.
You should never become submissive just because you want to be nice for the sake of being nice.
So stand up for yourself. If someone isn’t nice to you, say something or just walk away. Don’t give in to bad folks.
This is for your own good. If you’re nice, then you deserve a good life.
8) They don’t stick their nose in on others’ business
Some people are just well, too helpful. They end up giving unwanted opinions or doing things that end up being a bother. Have you come across people like that before?
As good as your intentions may be, you’ve to accept the fact that some people just don’t want your help at all. They may be simply confused, not ready or just want to go about their own way.
So let it go. The entire world is not your responsibility.
9) They don’t go back on their word
It’s way too easy to show that you’re nice. All you have to do is talk because talk is cheap. That’s how you create an image of niceness.
It’s also easy to NOT follow up and NOT take action.
You can’t truly be a nice person if you’re all fluff!
10) They don’t disappear after acting super nice
Have you ever been treated in a really nice way, been told the most flowery things ever and then pitched a product or service?
If you answered yes, then you were being sold. And more often than not, the “nice” sales person will disappear right after he takes your money.
Whether money or sales are in play or not, a truly nice person would be there for you. He or she knows that being nice is about…. simply being nice! It’s not just a means to an end!
11) They don’t treat people they don’t know like crap
One of favourite quotes: “If someone is nice to you but rude to the waiter, they are not a nice person.”
It’s the same as, “Oh he’s really nice to people he likes.”
That’s not a nice person. That’s just somebody who has placed himself on a pedestal.
So treat people with respect now. It’s the human thing to do.
12) They don’t think that they’re perfect
Because nobody is perfect.
That means to say, you can always be better and you can always improve.
Due to different cultures and personalities, a person may appreciate your being nice, but another may not.
I think then, that the next crucial factor is whether you’re willing to humble yourself to keep on learning and appreciate others’ perspective, or be completely stubborn and insist that you’ve nothing to learn.
That doesn’t sound very nice does it?
Special bonus for Pick The Brain Readers
I hope you enjoyed the article!
To say thanks for reading it, I’m going to let you in on my new book. It’s free!
Time to shed the crap in life and start being happy! This free book is available through this link to Alden Tan.