Self confidence is the difference between feeling unstoppable and feeling scared out of your wits. Your perception of yourself has an enormous impact on how others perceive you. Perception is reality — the more self confidence you have, the more likely it is you’ll succeed.
Although many of the factors affecting self confidence are beyond your control, there are a number of things you can consciously do to build self confidence. By using these 10 strategies you can get the mental edge you need to reach your potential.
Build Self Confidence
1. Dress Sharp
Although clothes don’t make the man, they certainly affect the way he feels about himself. No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are. When you don’t look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with other people. Use this to your advantage by taking care of your personal appearance. In most cases, significant improvements can be made by bathing and shaving frequently, wearing clean clothes, and being cognizant of the latest styles.
This doesn’t mean you need to spend a lot on clothes. One great rule to follow is “spend twice as much, buy half as much”. Rather than buying a bunch of cheap clothes, buy half as many select, high quality items. In long run this decreases spending because expensive clothes wear out less easily and stay in style longer than cheap clothes. Buying less also helps reduce the clutter in your closet.
2. Walk Faster
One of the easiest ways to tell how a person feels about herself is to examine her walk. Is it slow? tired? painful? Or is it energetic and purposeful? People with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go, people to see, and important work to do. Even if you aren’t in a hurry, you can increase your self confidence by putting some pep in your step. Walking 25% faster will make to you look and feel more important.
3. Good Posture
Similarly, the way a person carries herself tells a story. People with slumped shoulders and lethargic movements display a lack of self confidence. They aren’t enthusiastic about what they’re doing and they don’t consider themselves important. By practicing good posture, you’ll automatically feel more confident. Stand up straight, keep your head up, and make eye contact. You’ll make a positive impression on others and instantly feel more alert and empowered.
4. Personal Commercial
One of the best ways to build confidence is listening to a motivational speech. Unfortunately, opportunities to listen to a great speaker are few and far between. You can fill this need by creating a personal commercial. Write a 30-60 second speech that highlights your strengths and goals. Then recite it in front of the mirror aloud (or inside your head if you prefer) whenever you need a confidence boost.
5. Gratitude
When you focus too much on what you want, the mind creates reasons why you can’t have it. This leads you to dwell on your weaknesses. The best way to avoid this is consciously focusing on gratitude. Set aside time each day to mentally list everything you have to be grateful for. Recall your past successes, unique skills, loving relationships, and positive momentum. You’ll be amazed how much you have going for you and motivated to take that next step towards success.
6. Compliment other people
When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others in the form of insults and gossip. To break this cycle of negativity, get in the habit of praising other people. Refuse to engage in backstabbing gossip and make an effort to compliment those around you. In the process, you’ll become well liked and build self confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself.
7. Sit in the front row
In schools, offices, and public assemblies around the world, people constantly strive to sit at the back of the room. Most people prefer the back because they’re afraid of being noticed. This reflects a lack of self confidence. By deciding to sit in the front row, you can get over this irrational fear and build your self confidence. You’ll also be more visible to the important people talking from the front of the room.
8. Speak up
During group discussions many people never speak up because they’re afraid that people will judge them for saying something stupid. This fear isn’t really justified. Generally, people are much more accepting than we imagine. In fact most people are dealing with the exact same fears. By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you’ll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.
9. Work out
Along the same lines as personal appearance, physical fitness has a huge effect on self confidence. If you’re out of shape, you’ll feel insecure, unattractive, and less energetic. By working out, you improve your physcial appearance, energize yourself, and accomplish something positive. Having the discipline to work out not only makes you feel better, it creates positive momentum that you can build on the rest of the day.
10. Focus on contribution
Too often we get caught up in our own desires. We focus too much on ourselves and not enough on the needs of other people. If you stop thinking about yourself and concentrate on the contribution you’re making to the rest of the world, you won’t worry as much about you own flaws. This will increase self confidence and allow you to contribute with maximum efficiency. The more you contribute to the world the more you’ll be rewarded with personal success and recognition.
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I think the biggest distinction is between temporary psych-up self-confidence and stable, longterm confidence.
The first can be manipulated somewhat by listening to driving music or mental techniques or a recent success whatnot, but the feeling will always go away.
Longterm self-confidence is more of a logical assessment of your abilities rather than a charged up emotional feeling. You just ‘know’ you have a certain value. You raise that by having real accomplishments and strengths, and by getting enough external feedback from the outside world that your positive self-assessment becomes another fact.
correct me if im wrong or give me some advices please. my problem is that im so afraid to spak something out when im in school because my english is a second language to me, and I feel that my classmates will make fun about me.
all of your fellow classmates will respect you 50 tmes more then they already do if you speak out. most of them probably dont say anything in class, and when they see a forgein person speakng about something in a language they know all too well - theyll be impressed.
Look, we all can pretend all we want to say that “Oh, yeah, listen to some music” or “Oh, yeah, believe in yourself”. But you all know that is a bunch of crap and wenever do that.
What are we always running around the house saying?
How does my hair look?
Do I have something on my shirt?
DID I SIT IN SOMETHING?
And people do look at the clothes a lot.
So maybe clothes don;t make the man…
but you’re sure right about they make you feel good!
well i think ur right
come on i mean im one of those people…I GO CRAZY.
WHAT TOOK MY ATTENTION IS THE POINT WHERE THE WALKING STYLE WAS STATED!
I NEVER KNEW THAT WALKING FAST DEPICTS SELF CONFIDENCE:)
I believe walking fast does depict confidence. When you walk faster you have a drive to get more things accomplished and by accomplishing more things you possibly run into more people, you have brief converstations with each person, and the conversations that you have with each person are just feedback and confirmation that you are a very important person. These converstations usually consist of what is on your agenda and getting to know the other person’s agenda as well.
i think i dont have enough self confidence to make friends and the worse thing is that i think i am not attractive to my friends.i am a youngh girl and i need to be attractive especially to my boy friend i would be grateful if you help me
hi can some one please help me.
i havent had a job for 2 yrs i have no confidece what so ever i dont like going out side my front door i have scars on my arm from where i was self harming and i dont want people to see i want to get a job but i fail underpressure and i cant wear short sleeves b’coz of my scars lately i been thinking if i dont do some thing now i will end up on my own for ever jobless and just living in my bedroom i havent been out sit for 2yrs and im only 19 please some one help me!!!
do not fear better days will come. put yourself out there and hopefully people will see the great person inside rather than the scars on your arms. that are obviously apart of your past.
I totally agree with Chris here. Anyhow, whether one’s self confidence is temporary or longterm, it’s still a very good thing to have!
Yes, he definitely has a point. But I also think that if you regularly do things that build self confidence (even if it is temporary) that confidence boost will lead to concrete success and reinforce your self confidence even more.
There is no quick fix here, but by controlling your behavior I think a permanent improvement is possible.
correct me if im wrong but i believe that if someone walks at a normal pace looking aroung not in a rush, at least it appears to me that he is more confident than someone who walks faster
its about moderation,not too fast ,nor too slow,if we go by speed,someone running,then will be said to have a higer self confidence,Thats not the case,
Walking faster will not make you “more confident.” It’s the opposite. Walking fast makes you seem like you have obligations, for which people will be displeased with you if you’re late. As if they’ll downright leave you if you’re late. However, walking slow is more confidence thing. It says, “I don’t need to get their fast because people will wait on me.”
i dont think so
as it depends what you think while you walk..
first attitude
if you think tht u are going hurry somewhere; thn tht wnt hlp u as it passes a sense of inferiority in u.
bcoz if u were to be superior than u are nt answerabe to anyone
secoend attitude
u think tht u are goning for an innovation[accepting the fact tht u are most worthiest man on planet] at that time no one can stop u from becoming a highly confident person
Dressing sharp always works for me. I used to take exams in slacks and nice shirt!
This desire to have self confidence is the bane of American society. The fact that people haven’t caught on to this is pretty sad. The fact that there are still lists of 10 ways to get more confident is even more sad.
In my opinion, coming to peace with oneself, the role you occupy in your own life is the key to having ‘confidence’. And even then, it is a form of confidence that is diametrically opposed to the one presented here.
Also, while being good at something sure does give you confidence, it also has the caveat of making everyone want to be the best.
I feel cheap to cite a book that’s been written over 3000 years ago (but people should read the Tao at least once in their lifetimes): “Oversharpen a knife and it will dull quickly”.
The point being that being bigger, better, faster, more is never going to lead you to ‘happiness’ until you learn to be at peace with yourself. To not equate your worth as a human to your worth to a corporation.
The Tao states: Care about people’s approval
and you will be their prisoner.
Do your work, then step back.
The only path to serenity.
There is no reason not to strive to be your best. We grow with our
He who clings to his work
will create nothing that endures.
There is a time for being ahead,
a time for being behind;
a time for being in motion,
a time for being at rest;
a time for being vigorous,
a time for being exhausted;
a time for being safe,
a time for being in danger.
Because he believes in himself,
he doesn’t try to convince others.
Because he is content with himself,
he doesn’t need others’ approval.
Because he accepts himself,
the whole world accepts him.
The great Tao flows everywhere.
All things are born from it,
yet it doesn’t create them.
It pours itself into its work,
yet it makes no claim.
It nourishes infinite worlds,
yet it doesn’t hold on to them.
Since it is merged with all things
and hidden in their hearts,
it can be called humble.
Since all things vanish into it
and it alone endures,
it can be called great.
It isn’t aware of its greatness;
thus it is truly great.
Why is it sad? It’s a good place for people to read about feeling better, especially those who don’t have strong support groups and have spent a good chunk of their lives being abused emotionally and/or physically. Now, I’m sure you can think of a few hurdles you couldn’t do on your own and asked for advice. It’s the same thing. I think it’s sad that people are knocked on in the manner that forces them to have low self-confidence. I believe they can find faith in themselves. First, they need realize though that they’ve just had negative re-inforcements. Then they can realize those people are negative towards themselves first. It’s like that old english proverb, If you have one rotten apple in the bag, it spoils the rest.
I’ve already been practicing but comes just in hand for a everyday re-energizing method. Thanks.
Great comment Illusionist. Face it folks. You’re average. Don’t worry about it so much. It’s hilarious to see the latest kids coming into the workforce. They’re so confident and full of self-worth. They all think everything revolves around them because for some reason in the good ol’ US of A, the whole “you’re special and above average” BS has been pushed so hard in recent years. Get over it kids. You’re not that great.
Phillydawg obviously has some self-confidence problems. Instead of putting down others, why not examine yourself?
Not all young professionals think the world revolves around them, so I suggest you know what you are talking about before you make inconsiderate generalizations.
I am with you all the way! nreidy There are two ways of looking @ everything. in a good way or in a bad way. You are what you hate and what you want to be or cant be.
If you were so confident about your self you would not be reading this material in first place. I bet you do not make over 50K a year and complain about everything in life.
Young People tend to think that the world revolves around them to help boost themselves. imagine how they would feel if you were always bullied at school or at home and at work.
instead, young people do subconcious things to help themselves and i feel like people should live by the motto: “Think Before you speak”, but no one does that anymore really
10 Ways to Instantly Give Bad Advice. Most of these points just have to do with how other people view you. If you need people thinking you’re important to feel confident you’re deceiving yourself.
I’d say confidence is being happy with whatever you do and whatever happens. Self-image based on how you stand against other people is flawed.
As long as you’re alive you can think anything you want.
You must not look good at all. Maybe you should apply those 10 tips!
absolutly right
[…] Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence 1pssts Erik shared this 0 seconds ago http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/10-ways-to-instantly-bui… Self confidence is the difference between feeling unstoppable and feeling scared out of your wits. […]
This is a silly article, it’s a bunch of techniques that are forced into a ‘boost your self confidence’ context which makes sense … but really doesn’t work that great.
For instance, you could easily say that many confident people do not need to dress sharply because they rate themselves high anyway … that they are so confident they do not need the fab clothes to get things done. They can walk slowly because they are relaxed .. they are relaxed because they are confident that they’ll do things well. Walking fast could be a stress thing. Many performers who ooze confidence don’t rush.
So yeah, I’d agree with a bit of the advice on this in a loose way. But other than that, it’s a bunch of baloney! Confidence comes from within, and that manifests itself in various ways … some confident people walk slow, some fast … some dress sharp, some don’t. some work out, some are full of lard.
So yes. I wouldn’t take this article seriously. Nice try tho.
Tim.
Thoughts on other comments:
-In more naive self-help writing it’s not uncommon to see confidence talked about as a kind of cure-all (not saying this article is naive, making a general comment). The attitude is, “Don’t worry about specific problem X, just be more confident and everything will fall into place”. Not only is “Just be confident” easier said than done, confidence isn’t a magic bullet. You may still need to learn and hone specific skills or change the way you think. Not all the solutions spring out of high confidence.
-My last comment wasn’t an opinion on the original article either way, just throwing my thoughts into the mix. Some of the ideas are definitely good (e.g., dressing better, good posture - genuine improvements to yourself that will boost long and short term confidence). Some may work differently for some people than others (I personally feel more confident if I walk slowly. For me fast = stressed, nervous, and out of control).
I’m not so keen on this list of ways, they seem as materialistic and republished.
Self confidence has several components. First I feel confident because of how I manage myself. Centering my perception, feelings and reactions - i.e. seeing all possible sides to a problem, avoiding blaming my self and others, and being proactive rather than reactive or nonactive - helps to avoid embarrassment, disgrace, fluster, etc… - the kinds of self judgement that lead to self doubt, self criticism low confidence and low self esteem. By this self confidence is an expression of the least amount of negative thought about oneself.
Secondly, I might feel confident because of how others interact with me. If I am considered before a decision is made, to be on a team, or asked an opinion, or involved in a way as to be nontrivial, then I am more self confident after the interaction than before. I also like when people show interest in the things I have, but not as much unless it leads to a welcomed nontrivial interaction. Self confidence has a directly proportional relationship with external or social interactions.
This and many other “10 ways” lists are for the physical world where print or publishing costs were too high or when a blogger’s time, patience are too limited to list all the ways to build self confidence. Ideally all the parts of self confidence should be dealt equally and fully without the restriction to 10 which is entirely unnecessary being this post is in a virtual infinite space.
I found the comments about this post as interesting as the post itself. The strategies in this post can help boost a person’s confidence, but confidence or the belief in oneself comes from within. Everyone has a day when his confidence is low. If using these strategies helps great. I use some of the strategies listed when I am presenting in front of my peers. This gives me the boost I need at that moment.
[…] il est bien de posséder quelques trucs afin de surmonter les journées un peu plus sombres. Le blogueur John Wesley a écrit un billet où il donne 10 astuces pour augmenter instantanément co…. Je partage avec vous quelques-uns de ses trucs […]
The only part that can be presented on paper, is 7. Sit in the front row.
That I agree with.
I have to do with business, manipulation and people evey day. If I would give you an advice, would be to look at Donal Trump.
Just make a search on the internet about him, or on YouTube . See his posture, the way he walks, the way he sits, the way he talks.
At a first glance, his posture for example, seems weak. But it isn’t. Very smart thing. He just makes you think he is a little weak, and he manipulates you from the shadow.
Anyway, good article. It would be 200% even better if you made a video article. So people can see examples of posture, voice, eye contact.
good luck!
I like your comment, can you explain more about how he manipulates you from a shadow! thanks bud.
You forgot the obvious: have sex with someone that loves you
do know about your area of operation i.e. confidence comes from the knowledge and knowledge comes from knowing things around you — be expert in your subject.
You could just try an oxytocin spray…
http://weirdscience.ca/2007/07/19/shyness-be-gone/
db
good one — we need more on this!!
Contribution is a great thing. We need to make each other stronger. Nice Article. Thank you for posting John Wesley.
[…] doesn’t need a self help book about confidence, this list (mirrored from http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/10-ways-to-instantly-build-self-confidence/ written by John Wesley) is right on the […]
It seems that a few people, who commented, have missed the point of the article.
It is meant to build confidence, some one who is already confident does not need to build it in the same manner that some one who is not.
The point of the article is to help some one with out confidence to do things that will make them feel more confident. Confidence is learned, this is a start.
Setting and accomplishing goals incrementally is definitely goals is also essential to building confidence.
10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence…
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[…] I believe there is only one person in the world who EVER questions my self-confidence *cough*Crystal*cough*. That being said, I’m always dedicating time to figuring out ways to better myself whether it is through reading, observing others, etc. I thought this was a fairly neat little list for building self confidence…actually there is one item on the list that reminded me to do something I don’t do often…and that is actually to take the time to realize what I have achieved (#5 Gratitude). Anyhow, here’s the link. […]
Confidence is sexy
Don’t you think?
My website is BUILT on confidence as a young american entrepreneur woman. I have to have confidence and I make sure everyone knows it.
Rep the brand,
http://www.materialbitch.com
I agree with all of the points noted except number two: turns out that ‘important’ people (yeah, sure, that’s relative) like CEO’s of large companies etc all walk slowly. The psychology behind it is that they aren’t in a hurry; the world will wait for them and they have planned ahead well enough that they don’t need to hurry to get where they need to be on time.
Good article, but it’s “Dress SharpLY”
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Definatley a great start for some one who lacks much self confidence . For number two; at some point in their life they had to walk “fast” to be able to walk slow.
According to some of the posts, this must the fast-food version of developing self-confidence!
[…] by John Wesley · 35 Comments […]
You forgot posture. It will make a huge difference, you literally will see more and people will look up to you. If people believe you are confident it will help reinforce that positive feedback loop, making it easier for you.
Good point Kurt, acting confident may temporarily give one the feeling of confidence. In return the person will have the courage to complete a task that they would have previously shunned.
Upon successful completion, you will now have a person that is actually more confident due to their success.
#1 should have been dump your girlfriend. I’ve never met a girl interested in helping you be more confident. If you’re feeling low, dump that bitch now before she dumps you and move on to something better.
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Self Talk Builds Self Confidence…
John Wesley, at Pick the Brain, is now suggesting we invest some time to create a mix of the two, a Personal Commercial….
Even if like some are saying we should know this or it sounds overused I think reminding ourselves every now and again is a good thing. It is very easy to get into a negative mind, being positive sometimes does take reminding and work. Thanks
After reading some of the rather vicious comments by the “self-realized” elite here, aren’t you wasting your self-important time with the ferocity of your protestations about a simple “ten ways” list? John has simply presented a few ideas to help the guy whose daily grind is selling, cold-calling, meeting and greeting. A lot of those guys need help in believing they can do it, and these tips help a guy believe a little more in himself, in spite of his lack of training, schooling, polish, expertise etc. Thanks for posting them, John. I know you did it out of concern for the common man, and not for the benefit of these ridiculous know-it-alls who live to carp.
David, I could not of said it better my self. I am one of those sales people you just described, I am 34 and made a ton of money in real estate, so my head is as big as they get heehee! I’ve been semi-retired for a year and a half. Now i am opening a used car dealer ship on my own, and I am trying to build that sales confidence again.
[…] 10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence: I loved this list. My favorite? “Focus on contribution.” I don’t know if it’s building my self-confidence, but I do know that with every volunteer action I take and “good deed” I do, I feel great. […]
The most powerful self-confidence surely comes from within. But, I also believe that the way we walk affect the way we talk and the way we talk affect the way we feel, and how others perceive us, so, John thanks for the list. Especially I can’t agree more with pt. 1 - if you down on a particular day, dress up helps.
And, may I add one to the list?
# Always put a smile on the face - you yourself feel better and others feel warmer.
[…] http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/10-ways-to-instantly-build-self-confidence/ […]
Illusionist is against confidence.
“Oversharpen a knife and it will dull quickly”
There is no such thing as an “oversharpened edge”, but you can use the wrong edge for the wrong job. Would you use a fillet knife to cut down a tree? The fillet knife would dull quickly and the tree would take forever to cut down. Would you use an axe to fillet a fish? The axe blade is much too thick and you will not be able to get thin fillet slices.
The point here is that if a tip doesn’t seem to work perhaps the situations for which it does and doesn’t work should have been specified clearly. It would be great to have tips that work in every situation but that is not always possible, just as there is no blade that can handle all cutting chores.
I disagree strongly with the notion that walking fast will boost your confidence (or other people’s positive impression of you). A fast walker is someone who looks harried- totally stressed out. Rushing from one thing to another is not going to improve your state of mind. I think better advice is to focus on posture and expression- try to walk upright, focus on enjoying your trip from point A to B, and work on bringing a smile to your face.
I’d have to agree with the guy above. I’m a fast walker myself and I feel much more relaxed and confident when I force myself to slow down.
People that walk really slowly though, they should hurry up a bit.
[…] 10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence Although many of the factors affecting self confidence are beyond your control, there are a number of things you can consciously do to build self confidence. By using these 10 strategies you can get the mental edge you need to reach your potential. (tags: gtd motivation) […]
IMHO, confidences brings about the things you have mentioned in the 10 points…
For me, confidence in workplace comes from being knowledgeable in your and possibly other areas… confidence in social life comes from knowing about things that happen around you, general knowledge, and a little extra cash in bank…
and, confidence in personal life comes from having some one who loves you…
peace…
Very good list. I’d like to see point 10 nearer the top though. Concentrate on duties and responsibilities instead of rights.
I find walking fast winds me up a bit. It is possible to walk in a relaxed and confident way: back straight, chest out, swing the arms a little (no need to go all military), fill your space, look others in the eye and say ‘hello/good morning/hi/ whatever’ to them. You acknowledge them as a fellow human, and their response (if they give one of course) acknowledges you. They feel better. You feel better.
Good day, all!
There’s a bit of voodoo in confidence. Something that’s not easy to break down into overt or perhaps even conscious behaviors or thoughts.
I had an interesting experience in the last several days that illustrated the subtle differences in the varieties of confidence one might project, knowingly or not. I live in Greenwich Village, New York, a few steps away from a long established bar that has live music (classic rock standards) every evening. On weeknights, there’s usually just one vocalist/guitarist. Most of the musicians have been playing here regularly for several years, some for decades. All are quite talented. I spoke with one the other evening after his musical set, and he was understated and affable, conversing easily about his career and loyal fan following with both humility and candor. He had the essence of a man who was comfortable in his skin.
I had a nearly identical encounter with another one of the bar’s musicians last evening. He too was affable and conversed about his career with ease, however spoke more pointedly–more confidently, perse–about which gigs he enjoyed and which he did not, and what the future held. On paper or filmed, both conversations and interactions would seem similar, yet the second musician left me with the distinct feeling that his confidence was of a far more superficial nature than the first musician did.
Why? It’s hard to pinpoint, though I’m sure a psychological researcher could identify why. The body language of both musicians was not grossly different. Human beings can often sense when confidence has bedrock within a person, and when it does not–even when there’s subjectively very little difference between them.
This speaks to the argument as to whether confidence is something you can actually possess or portray, or only something that’s conjured and ascribed to you by others after they feel that they have genuinely, sincerely perceived it. The latter is closer to true, I believe.
While there is much credibility in the notion that purposely acting in certain ways and doing certain things will make you think and regard yourself differently, confidence is far more enigmatic than that. Mr. Wesley’s article is as fine as or better than all other pieces I’ve read that attempt to prescribe greater confidence with a list of dos and don’ts, but the challenge is that we intuitively know that confidence can’t be distilled this way, because its quintessence comes from incalculable nuances. That’s what makes such prescriptive service articles ring both solid and simplistic, through no fault of the writer.
[…] Wesley provided a list of 10 ways to boost your self confidence on the Pick The Brain blog. Please read his full post to get the complete explainations but in […]
Even for a normally confident individual, there will be times when you feel a little smaller, a little discouraged, or a little intimidated. I do think that the above points will come in handy as a quick-fix, when you still have to go out to face the world no matter how relunctant one is at that point.
There is no doubt that having self-confidence leads to greater well-being and positive emotion. Great post.
[…] Self Confidence Posted July 30, 2007 Heres a great article about simple things you can do to boost your […]
Dance.
Seriously. Lindy Hop. East Coast Swing. Charleston. Blues. Balboa. Shag. With a name like Shag, who wouldn’t want to do it?
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[…] PickTheBrain writes that one way to boost your confidence is to dress sharp. Although clothes don’t make the man, they certainly affect the way he feels about himself. No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are. When you don’t look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with other people. Use this to your advantage by taking care of your personal appearance. In most cases, significant improvements can be made by bathing and shaving frequently, wearing clean clothes, and being cognizant of the latest styles. […]
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[…] as recently as last Sunday, they treated us to Improve Your Self-Confidence, which linked to Ten Ways to Instantly Build Self-Confidence : One of the easiest ways to tell how a person feels about herself is to examine her walk. Is it […]
[…] past successes. What’s your instant confidence builder? Thoughts in the comments. 10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence [Pick The […]
The walking faster part is the total opposite of how it should be. Confident people move slowly and with ease when they walk, and have little to no movement when they sit.The person who moves the least has the most power.
I’d day that walk faster tip can be very counter productive.
Walking faster likely leaves you less breath and ability to concentrate, or to keep good posture for that matter; it may also make you a bit nervous on a crowded sidewalk with a lot of slow strollers.
Confident people are not in a hurry; I personally found out that I feel more confident if I slow down my pace considerably and walk normally and not extremely quickly as I usually do.
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Thanks
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If you’re in a hurry, go slow!!!
) So she called a friend and he came around. She went all the way on her computer to show him what will happen- it did not work. He said do it again, slowly!!! Surprise- well gone.
Once a woman had no chance to get some stuff via inet- download. MS, HP, all the gurus + hotliners- they had no solution (but hugh bills
How came? She used to use a habit: add the spacebar after typing the emailaddress…
If you’re in a hurry, go slow!
Olaf
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I stumbled upon this article and I liked it a lot. Gave a reference to this in my article “14 Simple Things To Do For A Better Body” here http://www.kumito.com/articles/14-simple-things-do-better-body
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this is excelent
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Did it bother anyone else that it’s all “herself”?
What about the men? Equal rights does not mean women get more.
there were 10 things on the list, could have done 5 of “herself” and 5 of “himself”.
Of course the author could have followed proper English writing rules and just stayed consistent and gender neutral but directing the comments to “yourself” as they did at the last of the article.
[…] 原文作者：John Wesley原文链接：10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence译者：ibidjh […]
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nice, but practically will it be easy to follow?
omfg this person is actually getting their infor from professionals…..you guys obviuosly lack confidence and didn’t really tried it.. I heard this from many couselors, therapists…so ppl like chris shut it what do you guys have backing what you say.. what are your sources I have tried these things and they do work… My teacher once told me if you lie to you self and say your confident many times over you are…..now I kinda agree with you this isn’t a quick fix there is never a quick fix for building your confidence everyone has to build their confidence if you commentors are looking for a one time permanant fix ghood luck cause I don’t think there is one. I personally find these to always rebuiold my confidence
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If I had to give just ONE advice, to those who lack self-confidence and are experiencing some of the troubles we as people go through everyday. It would be to DEVOTE your life to Christ. And everything else will fall into place. Ask and you will recieve, seek and you will find, knock and he will answer. For the most part of my life I have tried to do things my way or mans way. Whether it was trying to build self-worth, being successful, financially stable, staying fit, being like by others, etc. etc. . I found that all those worries put way too much pressure on me as a person and sooner or later I would fail ( I didn’t show it physically through actions more so mentally, where I would bottle things up and it would eventually cause me to crumble).
I personally feel that many, not all, of us put on a front, a different image of who we really are …( basically a costume we wear everyday to survive the struggles in life ) rather than being genuine & real. That right there takes a toll on many people, whether you’d like to admit it or not.
I’ve been there before in my life and still am, but this time I am not doing it alone. I have God in my life, who is stronger than I am to help take away the burden and worries that have plagued my life. Now, with his help, teachings, values, morals, and support I am able to worry less about me, less about money, what I look like, what people think of me, if I should fail, etc. and just live and love my life.
I am starting to appreciate the things I have and the people around me alot more i.e. family and friends. I focus on the positive things and solutions rather than the negative and looking for reasons to make me upset.
I am by no means, trying to portray an image that I am better than others, rather that is the very cause of many self-conscious fears we have today. We directly & indirectly compare ourselves with others, thus creating fears and doubts within ourselves.
I am still going through this trouble everyday, but I am making great progress and far from the person I was just a few years ago. I am sharing this with others so that some may come to understand that you deserve this, YOU deserve to feel good, YOU deserve to be loved, YOU deserve to be happy, YOU deserve the good things that come your way. Even if your a good or a bad person, we all deserve room for change, we all have made mistakes in the past and present.
We ahould try and stop fufilling our emptiness with materialistic things such as, the most expensive cars, clothes, homes, jewelry, money, satisfying our emptiness with drugs and alcohol.
And instead replace those things with something real like kindness, compassion, understanding, patience, happiness, and most of all LOVE.
These are the things God has to offer us and through Christ we may recieve these gifts and draw closer to him.
I know I’ve wrote alot and many might be turned off by all of these words lol, but I honestly believe this is the sole answer to everyone and anyones problem. I have alot more thoughts to share and will be more than happy too, for now I leave everyone with this. Your Life reflects how much you love God…. think about it.
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In my opinion,appearance is the most important thing to get confident.
If you like your face & dressing,you’ll get sociable & you’ll be brave enough to show yourself to the others & you’re not shy anymore.
(That’s what I’ve experienced myself)
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I recently migrated to a new continent..new culture, new people…suddenly lacking self confidence at work struck me..and i am trying to figure out how i can win this debacle…and i came across this article or blog as you may call it. The comments did add some enlightenment. And I would say I have been walking slowler than before since I got here. It made me think twice if walking really has something to do with confidence. Now I will try to walk fast on Monday to work :o) Sure it wont hurt to try :o) To build confidence one needs to read more and fill up ones tiny little mind each day with something new. So you may be able to communicate with others…I think that is the best but the hardest way.
[…] 10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence […]
good ways
I hope that i got benifits
those 10 stratigies are pretty impressive but a person unconsiously does these things when he is self confident, and the point here is that when ever you do something you just think that how would a confident person will react in this kind of situation and just react that way. after some time you will get used to these habits and will develop a habit of doing this.
other thing about walking pace is that should not walk too fast nor to slow because if you walk too slow it describes that you are confused about something and wondering aimlessly and if you walk too fast,it means you are in some kind of pressure and fear (fear from boss, instructor for being late). it is also a sign that you have somekind of unstability in yourself does’nt look mature.
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There are some great tips and strategies here.
You are right to say that clothes do not make the man and yet dressing sharp can affect the way we feel about ourself.
I very much like the concept of gratitude and saying thank you to people or events that have helped you each day.
Exercising and working out, too, are important. There is an old saying ‘healthy body, healthy mind’ which I feel is apt in resect of confidence too.
In my work I see many people who feel that a lack of confidence holds them back in life. These strategies I’m sure would help many of them.
Thanks
Doug
www.dougwoods.com
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i say its better to walk more slowly, and be more accepting of your journey! this takes confidence i think, more so than rushing around
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There are some great tips here but I really do think that the most important factor is number 6 - Compliment other people. It really does help with your presentation and thinking if you are positive about your work colleagues.
thank u .i have a huje lack of self confidence. but when i tryed to think about it i found myself that in most cases i have been modest and people judjed me that im weak, and i don’t believ in my self. peopel around me tell me and all the time try to convince me that im good and i have to be proud of who i am because it is me and i couldn’t have been someone else.but i find it hard to believ them because i don’t truste people that much . they all say that i want to be perfect and do something outstanding,whereas my objective is to do someting correct for once. im 19 about to get my 20s and i still don’t know who i am what am i going to do .i still think of my life as an accident ,unwelcomed accident.my familly loves me my parents and brothers and sisters care about me .sometimes i feel im the center of their lives. that’s why i try to do my best to make them proud of me .however no matter what i do i never achieve the degree to make them satisfied that’s what i think.i miss motivation in ly life .if i am motivated i believ i can reach the moon.my lack of responsibiilty is the most tornment to my soul. all the time i seem sad and furious and i laugh ,however,i immidiately regret it. always i care about peopel and say to my self’ what would be their point of view about me?” what me for them?” why don’t they treat me well ? eventhough they ‘ve done nothing wrong. i study english at university and i feel so inferior to my classmates .at class when a teacher launchs a certain idea .i get some stupid answers in my mind while the answer when it is said tottaly faaaaaaar from what i thaught about.STUPID.and i am a bit fat well not very fat but full shaped .which is sth that disturbs me. i believ in god but i don’t feel like satisfying god.when people think of loving god and his prophet. i just find hard to feel that love which is sth i wish i can achieve one day.i am so carismatic. and i believ in hard working and responsiblity. plz comment.thank u
mona
reading your post it looks like you are caught up in self doubting thought processes.
don’t worry about age most peeople never know exactly what they want to do. why should you? we live in an age of uncertainty which is why it is a very hard time to be a student. i am too a student.
i must say, a breakdown, even though horible, was what i needed to smack me in the face and provoke me to think for myself.
i say this because it has provoked me to learn to find time for myself. see what i like, what I want and what i want from life.
your life is your own, you should stop worrying what your mates, your family or ANYone else appears to ‘want’ from you and find time to learn to love yourself.
trust me im no hippie, this i have learned through experience.
‘a wise man learns from experience, an even wiser man learns from others’ experiences’ -plato
oh and do you excercise or do many hobbies? it is important to do things that interest you.
dw, “self doubting thaught proccesses” wonderfull sentence.u mentioned sth about time? well i make u sure that time which is preserved to my privacy and life and inner thaughts is more than any other thing.i believ in contemplation and wondering in the world and people .but i never thaught this will lead me to be a prisoner of a wrong immagination.anyways.about hobbies, i used to draw profiles and human’s faces meanwhile i try to see my self through that painting .i succeeded, but i faced horrible reactions that say “it’s against our religion” .well no comment?. later on i stopped and i used to write well not correct poetry but well verses that expresse me. i enjoyed them but unfortunately this abilty to writing wasopressed because of an accident that i feel sad and humiliated to talk about.so i better keep it for my self.now i gave up all my hobbies ad i live to live. and my main concern is to reach my last day and leave this world peacfully. as long as i do noth in return ….anyways Mr dw thanks for ur answer.it was helpfull .but still words shape that clutter image in my mind and thaghts seem foggy and takes time to be cleared up .and as usual putting sth into practice is harder than emptying the sea.thank u so much.
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As a recent graduate of philosophy who came accross this article in a “next-step” search, i must include a few observations. I have spent years listening to the people around me, studying identity and trying to comphrehend the springs from which a person’s concept of being flows, and i have discovered that so many share a link. When i consider the people i know who are thought confident, myself often one, many of them do have the traits described. And none of them think about it.
A past lover once told me he thought i seemed confident. Really? i asked. Why? He shrugged, and this has been the basic response. Confidence is not fixed, it is a processural stream which people may step in and out of which is in a constant state of flux. And they do this unknowingly.
What is amazing about confident people to the unconfident person is that they seem to be without a care in the world, or at least, their cares seem not to bog them down. And that is their choice. The human mind can overcome anything. Once you realize that only you control how you experience the world, confidence will no longer be an issue. You can take things in stride, take them with a grain of salt, or not take them at all. Life’s possibilities are endless. Go.
agreed, seeing confidence as fixed is not a real idea.
this is something ive been getting at but haven’t quite realised before now… ta danielle!
do you think the realisation of that you control your world means ‘understanding’ it.. after all people are apparently afraid of what they do not understand?
It’s interesting that you connect the idea to fear, however, that people often fear what they don’t understand is a very general sentiment. I think of how often heterosexual people who are homophobic, for example, are claimed to be afraid of homosexual persons, that is afterall implied in the term. And this is linked to the idea that they fear what they don’t understand. However, i do not think it’s fear, and i don’t think it’s that they don’t understand. The problem in this example is that they do think they understand, and they have done so within a limited construct. When i claimed that people often don’t realize that they control their world, ie, their perception or experience of the world, i didn’t mean that they lack an understanding of it. What I meant was that they often are not aware of the possibilities of their experience, that they control what they perceive, and as such they can overcome said barriers and choose how they feel about whatever occurs in their life irregardless of the given circumstances. Any barriers people percieve in life, that maybe they need ‘confidence’ to overcome, are usually only perceived by them. And to many people this realization may seem “easier said than done,” due to a number of factors, maybe even fear, like you suggest. But if fear has any place, it is in that part of ourselves that knows, deepdown, that there are no barriers in life other than our minds, that we can go forth as we please, and that we are responsibile for the choices we make.
cool, understood… almost
so for someone who thinks they lack confidence, it is more so the failure to see opportunity in front of them
do you mean this article is wrong, cos it thinks it understands ‘confidence’
I think the article is surface level. It is addressing the symptom rather than the cause. It gives options as to improve one’s confidence, so to speak, but it ignore’s my initial point. I spoke about people who appear confident, and noted that they basically aren’t occupied with whatever may mentally ail them. My second passage elaboarted on the concept, locating their not being preoccupied with such things in their choice to not be preoccupied. These are the things that help/hinder confidence. This article isn’t wrong, per se, but it’s kind of like of get-rich-quick scheme for the mind. All along however, a person is working towards achieving what i have been positing all along: don’t worry, brush it off, go forth. If this is done, then confidence seeking becomes moot, because you’re mentally in the clear.
i really wanted to understand but it seemed a little bit shallow. what u said about understanding the fact of being “confident”. amazed me. but the question of fear in’t really clear. talking about myself, i ‘ve a terrible lack of confidence but i read the comments written above and i learn step by step. Actually, i would like you to talk a bit about the milieu and its effet on the person. how friends n responsibility n familly ,to some extenct, can affect the person… , ur anlysis is really impressing but personnaly i believ that what is scientific and professional can’t easly get into everybody’s mind. people ain’t all the same. unless the speech is adressing a specific category of people. thank you so much
.
i notice everything ive come across has all pointed to that . ways to let go -
suppose the question is what is the best ways to do that
and i take it when the reasons are more disturbing thats when proffessional help fits in.
Thank you, Mona. You say you have a lack of confidence which indicates to me that you are not sure of yourself for one reason or another. It sounds like you have a tough situation going on, that you’re really struggling in some respect. Although i was not writing to a specific audience, as i think my ideas apply to all, I was not writing about people who have barriers outside of their control. Some people have physical or mental disabilities, which are hard to overcome but not impossible, I promise. Some people, especially young ones, feel trapped or that their lives are not in their control when they have issues with their families or peer groups. But even these situations can be changed. There is a tendency when we are young and have yet to experience the world to look inward for the solutions to our problems. However, that is the source of the problem. Do not think I am placing blame or directing shame. I am simply saying that people often get so wound up in whatever is holding them down that they don’t realize that it usually is only within them that the barrier exists. In your situation Mona it seems like you have spent alot of time trying to find the answer yourself, which is quite admirable considering so many people never even try, but that is not the only way. You should reach out to a counselor. If you’re in school, talk to a teacher or counselor there. Your friends and family can’t give you the help a trained professional can. Also, you should have someone help you locate a social service agency that could help you find more resources. If there’s one thing i’ve learned, it’s to never be afraid to ask for help from those who can give it. And take pride in knowing that the fact that you’re trying to better yourself is proof that you have the strength within to do it. Be well.
hey dannielle, love philosophy but wasnt brave enuff for the degree!
what do you think the best way to think is?
e.g. i was thinking earlier its probably best to:
1. elliminate inner dialogue
2. focus on what you want
hey dannielle, love philosophy but wasnt brave enuff for the degree!
what do you think the best way to think is?
e.g. i was thinking earlier its probably best to:
1. elliminate inner dialogue
2. focus on what you want (as opposed to what you dont want)